Black Books (TV Series)

A Nice Change (2002)

Dylan Moran: Bernard Black

Photos 

Quotes 

• [discussing what film to see at the cinema] 

  Bernard : What's this? "'Blue Tunes' - Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Minnie Driver...

  Fran : Oh, I hate her.

  Bernard : ...Grouchy Leonard Blue runs a second hand record shop with his half-wit mustachioed assistant Danny...

  [Manny tuts] 

  Bernard : ...when this zany pair team up with bitchy, neurotic neighbour Pam things are sure to be a riot of laughs". Where do they get this crap?

• Bernard : [to Manny]  Get away from me! It was a thrill to recreate with you, but now our association ends. You have brought nothing but pain, penury, and strife into my days. I wish you good fortune in whatever avenue of life you assault with your presence. Here's your redundancy package, here; I'm sorry most of it's in Fenobian wooden dollars, but that's largely your fault! Now good luck, and goodbye!

• Bernard : Ha-ha! Naughty little passport! Hiding in the crisps again!

• Bernard : A HA! Naughty little passport! Hiding in the crisps again!

• Manny : [Reading a movie review from the newspaper]  Regression,Richard Geer: He has to kill himself to go back to the past to rescue himself as a child,so that he can grow up to kill himself to go back in the past to rescue himself as a child,so he can grow up...

  Bernard : No!What's this?

  [reading from the paper] 

  Bernard : Blue Tunes,Matt Damon,Ben Affleck,Minnie Driver: Bernard Blue runs a second hand records shop with his half-wit mustachioed assistant Danny.The zany pair team up with bitchy neurotic neighbor Pam,things are sure to be a riot of laughs.Where do they get this crap!

• Bernard : Forget your beaches and jungles;we're going somewhere where I can read,sit,and have a quiet drink.

  Manny : So your ideal holiday would in fact be here?

  Bernard : Correct.So find somewhere exactly like this.