- Prince Edmund: And what is your name?
- Baldrick: Baldrick, my Lord.
- Prince Edmund: Then I will call you... Baldrick, Baldrick.
- Baldrick: And I will call you my Lord, my Lord.
- Richard III: Who's that?
- King Richard IV: I know not, my lord. I'll ask my son. Harry! Who is that?
- Harry: It is your other son, my lord.
- [to the king Richard III]
- King Richard IV: It is my other son, my lord.
- Richard III: Fights he with us tomorrow?
- [to Harry]
- King Richard IV: What's his name?
- Harry: Edmund.
- King Richard IV: Edna! Fight you with us on the morrow?
- Prince Edmund: Oh, goodness, no. I thought I'd fight with the enemy.
- [Silence. Blackadder giggles nervously and sits down]
- Richard III: You are not putting him anywhere near me, are you?
- King Richard IV: No, no, my lord. He'll be somewhere amongst the rabble.
- Richard III: Oh, arrow fodder.
- King Richard IV: Precisely.
- [Richard III waves at Edmund]
- Richard III: What a little turd.
- Harry: [Inspiring words before the battle] Now I'm afraid that there's going to have to be a certain amount of violence. But at least we know it's all in a good cause, don't we?
- Percy: It will be a great day tomorrow for we nobles.
- Prince Edmund: Well, not if we lose, Percy. If we lose, I'll be chopped to pieces. My arms will end up at Essex, my torso in Norfolk, and my genitalia stuck up in a tree somewhere in Rutland.
- Prince Edmund: They're coming! Run for the hills!
- Baldrick: No, my lord! They're coming from the hills!
- Prince Edmund: Run away from the hills! Run away from the hills! If you see the hills, go the other way!
- The Queen: Well, I suppose you want to ravish me.
- King Richard: In a moment!
- King Richard: The woman's insatiable!
- [Edmund has just cut off the head of King Richard III]
- Baldrick: What have you done?
- Prince Edmund: Look!
- Baldrick: Oh, dear. Richard the Third.
- Prince Edmund: Well, frankly, everyone thought you were dead.
- Richard III: Well, frankly, I am.
- [head floats away]
- Richard III: [looking for a horse] A horse!
- [whistles]
- Richard III: A horse! My kingdom for a horse!
- [sees a horse]
- Richard III: Ah! Horsey.
- Prince Edmund: Let all men who go to don armour tomorrow remember to go before they don armour tomorrow.
- Prince Edmund: [after surveying the battle of Bosworth Field] Why, some people over there aren't fighting, they're just lying down!
- Baldrick: They're dead, my lord.
- Prince Edmund: Ah!
- Prince Edmund: I shall be known from now on, as the Black Vegetable.
- Baldrick: My lord, wouldn't something like the Black Adder sound better?
- Richard III: [going to the Battle of Bosworth Field] And Gentleman in London still at bed shall think themselves accursed they were not here. And hold their manhood cheap. While others speak of those who fought with us, on Ralph the Liar's DAY.
- [Edmund uncovers a home-made crown, puts it on and looks at himself in the mirror]
- Richard III: [as a ghost] Oh yes, very fetching.
- [Edmund turns and screams for about six seconds]
- Richard III: ...and hello to *you.*
- Prince Edmund: Uh, uh, er, hello... hello... er... goodness me... I hadn't... expected... to see you... like this.
- Richard III: Sitting down, you mean?
- Prince Edmund: Er, yes, yes, that's right: sitting down. Goodness, look! Look! You're sitting down.
- Richard III: Yes.
- Prince Edmund: Why, I haven't seen you sitting down since, er...
- Richard III: Yesterday?
- Prince Edmund: Was it only yesterday? Good lord! Erm, errr... well... How was your battle?
- Richard III: Fine. Somebody cut my head off at one point, but otherwise everything went swimmingly. And how are you, Edna?
- Prince Edmund: Erm, Edmund...
- Richard III: Your father told me Edna.
- Prince Edmund: No...
- Richard III: So, Edna, you loathsome little fairy maggot, how are you?
- Prince Edmund: Er, how... how very very kind of you to ask, erm, Your Majesty... I'm very well, and, er, and it's very good to see you, because, frankly...
- Richard III: Yes?
- Prince Edmund: Well, well, frankly, er... Gosh, you look well.
- Richard III: Frankly what? Spit it out, you horrid little scabby reptile!
- Prince Edmund: Er, well, frankly, everyone thought you were dead.
- Richard III: Well, frankly...
- [Richard's head rises from his body to be level with Edmund]
- Richard III: ...I am.