- [just before the battle begins]
- Harry, Prince of Wales: Now, I'm afraid there is going to have to be a certain amount of... violence. But bear in mind, it's all for a good cause!
- The Laird of Roxburgh, Selkirk and Peebles: Baldrick, that is the worst plan since Olav the Viking ordered 20,000 helmets with the horns on the inside.
- Prince Edmund: These letters are dated November and December 1523. Which, Henry, in relation to your date of birth, is precisely nine months bef...
- [pauses, horrified, realising his mistake]
- Prince Henry: After I was born!
- The King: But about nine months before *your* birth, Edmund.
- Prince Edmund: [to McAngus] You stupid bastard!
- Prince Henry: No, I think you're the bastard, Edmund.