"Baywatch Nights" The Eighth Seal (TV Episode 1997) Poster

(TV Series)

(1997)

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7/10
child starlet Esmé Ganz a long, long way off from G-strings, golden sand, blue skies and Scarabs
RavenGlamDVDCollector2 October 2015
Warning: Spoilers
This episode I consider to be a collector's item. It features the only ever appearance of young Esmé Ganz on film. While I made no bones in previous reviews about BAYWATCH NIGHTS being "undeserving drivel" and "hokey junk" and a slew of other disparaging comments, I finally found an absolute high point in the form of the lovely little Esmé who made the 41st episode a must-have item for my RavenGlam collection. Up till this turning point (no, it won't really be, the remaining three episodes will surely turn out to be total time- wasters), it was only Angie Harmon who struggled bravely to add a semblance of quality to the dismally presented, addle-brain scripted throwaway TV series which fell into every predictable pothole that was sure to riddle its way. Indeed, this is only the second episode in the second season that carries my Seal of Approval, the first being the 5th one, "Circle of Fear".

Of course, with two hits out of 41 encountered so far, this only means that the entire team HAD IT IN THEM TO HAVE DONE BETTER THE WHOLE TIME, so I should give them a long, long lecture on under-achieving in an ice-cold, dimly-lit detention class far away from Malibu's beaches. While Esmé is fed peeled grapes on a chaise lounge next to the swimming pool, of course.

From the moment the bright young starlet appears in the first scenes of the episode, you realize that this, at last, is promising. You know that they are bound to mess it up, and you expect the worst, but as the story progresses it only lives up to your best expectations, even despite David's hopelessly inadequate input. It also has a surprisingly scary (or rather, disconcerting) scene with Jenny Starger (Esmé) in demonic red-eyed regalia as the possessed girl on the bed, her face gleefully shoved towards Mitch (David), coming as a total shocking surprise that somebody so innocent and vulnerable could suddenly be so poisonous. If only THE EXORCIST was like this...

As expected, though, they just had to mess it up. The script fell back into familiar dorkiness the moment Jenny Starger dropped back. Evil Mitch appears darkly, with David making a fiesta of it. A truck comes out of nowhere in that quiet residential area where Mitch lives, to hit him squarely, and his near-death vision appears. Hey, lieut. Stephanie Holden again. Oh, yeah, we're going for the ultimate in schmaltz now (BAYWATCH monokini, she's obviously a lifeguard in heaven!). Oh, please, where is Esmé? The script is going the way of all the others...

They had something better going there, no denying that. Then, predictably, they fumbled and dropped the ball.
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1/10
Stephanie Ghost is pretty hot.
sandcrab72210 April 2022
Mitch hates taxis. He's not too wild about suicide either. Jenny is not impressed with the nosy old boring Hoffy guy. She makes him a omelet tho'. The teddy bear is Lucifer? Oh, My! Teague has his own kind of buzzword bingo. Telekinesis anyone?

Laugh or cry, there's no way to be indifferent to this cavalcade of kook :-D.
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