- Diamont Teague: What happened?
- Ryan McBride: He bumped his head.
- Mitch Buchannon: Terrific. Another headache. What are you doing here?
- Diamont Teague: Actually, I wanted to talk to you about things that go bump in the night. Do you believe in ghosts?
- Mitch Buchannon: No, no, but they scare me.
- Mitch Buchannon: Haunted. When I think of haunted, I think of Aunt Tilly kicking off and hanging around long enough to make sure that Uncle John doesn't hook up with some floozie.
- Ryan McBride: That's one definition.
- Ryan McBride: Alright, well, I am participating in this weekend because I'm a scientist, and unlike you, I believe in the paranormal. But I do not believe in standing out here like a little puppy because Teague's a control freak. But if you wanna stay out here because you're afraid, wait for Teague, I understand.
- Mitch Buchannon: Oh what, is this some kind challenge, right.
- Ryan McBride: No, I mean, why would I challenge you?
- Mitch Buchannon: Because competition is your middle name, and subconsciously you're attracted to me, and it's a way of getting my attention.
- Ryan McBride: Tell me what you see.
- Mitch Buchannon: Umm, there's a bed with a noose hanging over a wooden beam.
- Ryan McBride: It's not real.
- Mitch Buchannon: [feeling the noose] How do you know?
- Ryan McBride: None of it's real. It's just a bunch of ghosts and illusions. It's maybe something with the light, maybe some molecular imaging, but trust me Mitch, it is not real, okay?
- Cigar Man: I've been waiting for hours. Get over here.
- [Ryan turns to see a cigar-smoking dwarf in old-timey clothes]
- Cigar Man: You deaf, girl?
- Ryan McBride: No. I can hear.
- Cigar Man: Are you sassin' me?
- Ryan McBride: Sassin'? Who're you?
- Cigar Man: You know me. I've been coming here since you opened.
- Ryan McBride: And when was that? I mean, uh, what's the date, mister?
- Cigar Man: Don't you make me wait on ya.
- Ryan McBride: What year are you in?
- Cigar Man: I'm hungry and I'm sore. Now get your backside naked and come sit by me.
- Ryan McBride: Now why would I wanna do that?
- Cigar Man: 'Cause. I got gold dust.