- Harley Quinn: There's one thing I've gotta know. Why'd you stay with me all day? Risking your butt for someone who's never given you anything but trouble?
- Batman: I know what it's like to try to rebuild a life.
- [He holds up a bag, and gives her the dress she wanted to buy, before getting in so much trouble]
- Batman: I had a bad day too, once.
- [Ecstatically, she takes the dress, then stands on tiptoe to kiss his cheek]
- Harley Quinn: Nice guys like you shouldn't have bad days.
- Harley Quinn: I'm having a BAD DAY! I'm sick of people trying to shoot me, run me over, or blow me up! I didn't even get to keep my new dress. And I actually paid for it.
- Dr. Joan Leland: You've made wonderful progress, Harley. You've passed your competency hearing, and tomorrow, you will be released, mentally sane and sound.
- Harley Quinn: [Begins jumping up and down] Weee! Wahoo! Whoopee! Yay! Yay! Yay!
- [Regains composure]
- Harley Quinn: [sheepishly] Uh... I mean thank you, Dr. Leland.
- Dr. Joan Leland: That's ok. You have every reason to be proud of yourself.
- The Scarecrow: [shouting off screen] Unhand me!
- Dr. Joan Leland: I just wish the other inmates could make your sort of progress.
- [Batman and Robin are seen bringing in the Scarecrow]
- The Scarecrow: I am the master of fear! The lord of despair! Cower before me in witless deter!
- Harley Quinn: Hi, Professor Crane.
- The Scarecrow: [Completely calm] Good evening, child.
- [to Batman and Robin]
- The Scarecrow: Worship me, fools! Worship me! Scream hosannas of anguish to Scarecrow, the all-terrible god of fear!
- [the orderlies come to take him away]
- Robin: I think he's getting better.
- Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett: The last time I seen you, you not only ruined my club, but brought the freakin' Batman down on my head as well! Gimme one good reason I can not dust you right now!
- [Harley grabs him and plants a big kiss on him]
- Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett: ... I'll buy that.
- Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett: Any last words?
- Harley Quinn: Just one: BABIES!
- [Harley's hyenas crash through the wall and maul Boxy]
- Harley Quinn: Play nice with your new chew toy.
- General Vreeland: You in the car! Release your hostage immediately!
- Veronica Vreeland: Daddy!
- Harley Quinn: Daddy? Oy!
- [Harley turns about and speeds away from General Vreeland]
- Veronica Vreeland: Wait! What are you doing? That's my father!
- Harley Quinn: No, that's your father... IN A TANK!
- [Boxy Bennett grabs Veronica and holds her, pointing a gun]
- Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett: Back off, freak, or the dame's history!
- [Harley knocks him out from behind with a fish]
- Harley Quinn: Get your own hostage!
- Veronica Vreeland: Did you mean what you said back there? About sending me home?
- Harley Quinn: Sure. You're a good kid. And I do kinda feel a little bit responsible for all this.
- Veronica Vreeland: No kidding.
- [seeing how dejected Harley is]
- Veronica Vreeland: So, what'll happen to you?
- Harley Quinn: If I'm lucky, I'll make it out of town before Bats hauls my heinie back to the bin.
- Veronica Vreeland: Can't you explain that it was all just a mistake?
- Harley Quinn: Ha! With my past? I don't even believe it myself.
- Veronica Vreeland: Look, let's make a deal. You get me out of this alive, and I'll drop all the charges.
- Harley Quinn: Yeah? Hey, you're all right, toots. For the first time today, I think things are finally looking up.
- [they scream as an explosion rocks nearby]
- Harley Quinn: Hi, He-Man. Wanna race?
- Batman: Stop the car. Now!
- Harley Quinn: I think not.
- Robin: We wanna help you sort this out before it gets worse.
- Harley Quinn: Sure, like you helped poor Professor Crane last night. Sorry, boys. You ain't taking me back to Arkham.
- Bruce Wayne: Miss, please. I'm sure this has all been a simple misunderstanding. You don't want to mess things up on your first day out, do you?
- [knocking]
- Bruce Wayne: Miss?
- Harley Quinn: [hitting him with the changing room door, trembling in anger] I tried to play by the rules, but no! They wouldn't let me go straight. Society is to blame.
- Robin: Leaving so soon, Boxy?
- Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett: You ain't got nothing on me!
- [Bullock suddenly appears and grabs Boxy from behind]
- Detective Harvey Bullock: I'm sure I can find something. Move it!
- Bruce Wayne: [catching Harley as she trips] Are you all right?
- Dr. Harleen Quinzel: [her hyenas snarl at him] Wow! I never saw them do that before.
- [recognizing him]
- Dr. Harleen Quinzel: Hey! Don't I know you?
- Bruce Wayne: I don't think so.
- Dr. Harleen Quinzel: [covering his eyes] Something about that chin. I know! You're Bruce Wayne, the boy billionaire.
- [taking his hand]
- Dr. Harleen Quinzel: Hmm. Unattached, I see.
- Veronica Vreeland: [clearing her throat] May I help you, miss?
- Dr. Harleen Quinzel: Uh-oh. Enter the jealous girlfriend.
- General Vreeland: Let me get this right, Commissioner. You're saying that milksop Bruce Wayne allowed a crazy woman in a clown suit to kidnap my Veronica?
- Commissioner James Gordon: Wayne did what he could, General Vreeland. And for what it's worth, I don't think Harley Quinn means to hurt Veronica. This is her first day out of Arkham, and the threat of being sent back probably spooked her.
- General Vreeland: I want action, Gordon, not excuses. My daughter's in danger. I need SWAT teams, helicopters, full military backup...
- [knocking Gordon's coffee mug over]
- General Vreeland: Oh, I-I'm sorry, Jim. All I want is my little Veronica returned safe and sound. If you could just give this old soldier a moment to compose himself?
- Commissioner James Gordon: Certainly, sir.
- Harley Quinn: [Kissing Batman] Mmmmmmmm... Mwah!
- [Sweetly]
- Harley Quinn: Call me.
- Batman: [With a grin] Don't press your luck.
- [Walks away]
- Harley Quinn: [to a smiling Poison Ivy] Eh, what are you looking at?
- General Vreeland: Got you now...
- Detective Harvey Bullock: You screwy little...
- Boxcars 'Boxy' Bennett: Trouble-making clown!
- Veronica Vreeland: I love it.
- Bruce Wayne: That makes one of us.
- Veronica Vreeland: Really, Brucie. A man of your social standing needs a woman like me to keep you in step with the latest trends. Who dresses you, anyway? Alfred?
- Bruce Wayne: [blushing] Well, actually...
- Dr. Harleen Quinzel: [seeing people recoiling from her] Gee, what's wrong with them?
- [looking at her reflection]
- Dr. Harleen Quinzel: I knew I shouldn't have worn this outfit. It's so out of style, it's growing mold. I probably look like a total geek.