Barney Miller (TV Series)
The Spy (1979)
Max Gail: Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz
Photos
Quotes
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Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. Warner, you want to have a seat?
Mitchell Warner : Twenty-two years with the company, and then one day it's "so long Boris"
Capt. Barney Miller : Sorry to hear that.
Mitchell Warner : Twenty-two years of blind loyalty, Pulling their dirty tricks, bribing foreign officials, toppling regimes... not so much a word of thanks.
Capt. Barney Miller : It's very ungrateful of them, Mr. Warner but what we're dealing with here is something as... as mundane as disorderly conduct.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, so, you want to have a seat ?
Mitchell Warner : They wouldn't even give me a letter of reference
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Mitchell Warner : They got rid of me because I was making too many waves. I heard too much, I seen too much.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Okay, Okay. Got to put you in the cage ?
Mitchell Warner : I could tell you things about "The Fall of Saigon" that will make your skin crawl.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : What happened ?
Mitchell Warner : What ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : About "The Fall of Saigon"? What happened ?
Mitchell Warner : It fell, okay ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Okay ?
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Officer Carl Levitt : Sir, they're ready for him at Bellevue.
Capt. Barney Miller : Why don't you run him over ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : I'll go with him Barn
Capt. Barney Miller : No, it's all right you got work to do here. Levitt can handle it.
Officer Carl Levitt : Thank you, sir. Okay, Warner let's go.
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Mitchell Warner : Now everybody stays exactly where they are.
Officer Carl Levitt : Back a little sooner than I expected
Mitchell Warner : All right, I want everyone to move over there.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Barney
Mitchell Warner : Come on , ma'am
Mitchell Warner : Get... You know, you were all very convincing, but your not playing with a kid.
Capt. Barney Miller : Yeah Woj, Oh my God .
Det. Ron Harris : There's been a new development
Capt. Barney Miller : I see
Mitchell Warner : Get over there with the others.
Capt. Barney Miller : Yeah sure. Heading over there. Where'd he get the weapon ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Levitt.
Officer Carl Levitt : See, we were going up the corridor and it was a little dark -- and then all of a sudden...
Mitchell Warner : Shut up !
Officer Carl Levitt : He's mad at me
Mitchell Warner : Shut up ! Now I would very much appreciate it... If everybody would put their weapons in there
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. Warner
Mitchell Warner : Now
Capt. Barney Miller : Right now, the man said put the weapons here, gentlemen.
Mitchell Warner : All right, cut out the act.
Capt. Barney Miller : The act ?
Mitchell Warner : I've been with the company since 1955. I've been on a lot of operations, but never one like this. Wow ! Beautifully staged -- look at that --Beautifully rehearsed. I bought it. I bought it.
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. Warner
Mitchell Warner : Tiny little precinct, Broken down furniture -- Incredibly authentic. A woman comes in complaining about a Flasher, you got Flashers. A couple of screwball citizens acting out an assault complaint. Wow. Don't you think I recognize a company operation when I see one?
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. Warner, this is the 12th Precinct.New York City Police Departments and we are police officers. What you see is what you got.
Mitchell Warner : How come that your man is so anxious to find out whether I might be blowing some company secrets ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Sergeant Harris is a writer. His interest is...
Det. Ron Harris : Avarice, Pure Avarice.
Mitchell Warner : A writer? Written anything that I might know ?
Det. Ron Harris : Nothing in book form. But, I got some..
Mitchell Warner : Get out of there.
Det. Ron Harris : Look, I was... I was just going to show you... some rejection slips.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : He's telling the truth. He can't sell nothing.
Capt. Barney Miller : What is it you want Mr. Warner
Mitchell Warner : I want you to call them off .
Capt. Barney Miller : Call who off ?
Mitchell Warner : Call off the Company
Capt. Barney Miller : Company?
Capt. Barney Miller : Call them ?
Capt. Barney Miller : All right, Wojo, try calling the CIA.
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Mitchell Warner : Ah, This phone over here. Come on
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Take it easy
Mitchell Warner : Turn around. That's right. Sit down. Now dial.
Bruno Bender : The Ritz Brothers, didn't cold cream on their kissers to funny.
Mitchell Warner : Everybody stay right where you are.
Bruno Bender : What the hell is going on here ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Gentlemen, Mr Warner's is in charge, just do everything he says.
Mitchell Warner : Put your gun in the trash.
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Sure, its an old gun
Mitchell Warner : Now you three, into the cage
Bruno Bender : Hey, you got no right to do this, I'm a veteran
Mitchell Warner : Inside
Bruno Bender : Hey, who sold him the gun, huh ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Will you get in the cage Binder?
Bruno Bender : Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Hello... uh... spy department please ?... This is the New York Police Department... Sergeant Wojciehowicz
Capt. Barney Miller : Look, may I ?
Mitchell Warner : Please go ahead.
Capt. Barney Miller : Hello ? Uh... Hello ? Hello. This is Captain Miller of the New York Police Department... to whom am I speaking please... Well, I guess I don't have to know, but it's imperative that I speak to someone in the Clandestine Department. A very, very angry man with a gun, does that qualify as life or death... Thank you. I'll hold on... What a company, huh ?
Bruno Bender : If law-abiding citizen were allowed to arm, this wouldn't have happened?
Capt. Barney Miller : Hello ? This is the Clandestine Division... We got a problem
Mitchell Warner : Tell them the lid's off. Warner knows everything.
Capt. Barney Miller : The lid's off. Warner knows everything.
Mitchell Warner : They don't take their spooks away from me, I'm going to take myself down to the New York Times and spill my guts
Capt. Barney Miller : He wants you to halt the operation or he goes to the New York Times
Mitchell Warner : You don't jerk around with Mitchell Warner ! I wrote the book
Capt. Barney Miller : You don't jerk around with...
Mitchell Warner : Come here, give me that -- Hello ? What ?
Capt. Barney Miller : They hung up on me shortly after I said hello. You want honesty, you got honesty.
Mitchell Warner : You gave them a code word to initiate Plan 2?
Capt. Barney Miller : Come on, there is no Plan 2. There wasn't even a Plan 1? They hung up because they thought I was a crank and given the circumstances I was
Mitchell Warner : Is that so ?