Barney Miller (TV Series)
Landmark: Part 2 (1982)
Hal Linden: Capt. Barney Miller
Photos
Quotes
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Jack Norrell : Yeah, they we're going to call you, but I told them not to
Capt. Barney Miller : Oh ?
Jack Norrell : Well, I felt, better you hear it from me than some stranger.
Det. Ron Harris : Have we met ?
Jack Norrell : Not really ? Anyways, the place will be in escrow for the next thirty day. You guys don't have to pack right now
Capt. Barney Miller : That's, very considerate of you
Jack Norrell : Sure, in the meantime, I'll be poppin' in and out now and then. But, I'll try to keep out of your hair. I mean, after all, this is a police station. Do you mind if I use my bathroom ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Go right ahead
Jack Norrell : Thanks
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Capt. Barney Miller : Sir, It's just that the men downstairs are getting a bit anxious
Capt. Barney Miller : Levitt, the point is there is no point in dwelling on what's going to happen or not going to happen. Whatever's going to happen, is going to happen .
Officer Carl Levitt : May I quote you on that ?... .Apparently, fear has loosen my tongue
Capt. Barney Miller : Apparently
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Capt. Barney Miller : Yes, its true, the building has been sold and if everything goes according to schedule we will have to vacate in thirty days
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Wilma Kestner : Does it mean, we can plea-bargain ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Why don't we see if we can process you first, then we'll see to it that... you can arrange bail
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Inspector Frank Luger : Ah, Inspector
Capt. Barney Miller : Hey Barney
Inspector Frank Luger : I take it, you heard about the building
Inspector Frank Luger : Huh? Yeah, yeah, Barn, thought had occurred to me that I haven't been around in a while, so I thought I'd stop by and invite my favorite Deputy Inspector to lunch.
Capt. Barney Miller : Look, they haven't made the promotions announcements yet
Inspector Frank Luger : Yeah, that may very well be Barney , it appears to me that the competition is dwindling down to a precious few.
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Capt. Barney Miller : That decision has not been made yet but I am certain that will be forthcoming
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Capt. Barney Miller : Levitt, you know, the department has indicated that if and when the building is sold we will all be relocated
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Inspector Frank Luger : That's fine with me too. You want take that attitude, why don't you ooze on back to Luzon. I'll mail-order out for another one of you.
Capt. Barney Miller : I think I'll pass Inspector
Inspector Frank Luger : Fine, I'll eat alone. Use to it. I'll like it.
Det. Ron Harris : This day is shaping up nicely.
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Professor Vincent Thorndyke : Look I don't know what their talking about. Anyway, it's my word against theirs. So, unless you guys have something to charge me with, I am going back to the Institute because I got essays to grade.
Capt. Barney Miller : You want to have a seat, Professor ?
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Capt. Barney Miller : All right, Wojo, get his statement.
Professor Vincent Thorndyke : Hey, come on, what are you... I'm not doing anything wrong here. I'm helping people
Capt. Barney Miller : By teaching them to steal
Professor Vincent Thorndyke : By teaching them to survive. I'm mean, what are they going to do. I'm mean, people can't even get a job these days. Let alone credit. You want them to starve
Capt. Barney Miller : Professor...
Professor Vincent Thorndyke : Or would they rather have them going out on the street clubbing each other over the head for a loaf of bread or a couple of stinkin' bucks. I'm educating people here pal. Getting people to use their brains not their fists. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Capt. Barney Miller : Book'em
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Capt. Barney Miller : All right ladies, I'm going to give you a Desk Appearance Ticket, and release you on your recognizance
Wilma Kestner : What does that mean ?
Capt. Barney Miller : That means we trust you and think we can count on you for your cooperation
Estelle Bobus : For what ?
Capt. Barney Miller : For your testimony, for when Professor Thorndyke comes to trial. And your promise, not to pull a fool stunt like that again.
Wilma Kestner : Oh, don't worry, we learned our lesson
Estelle Bobus : Oh, Crime doesn't pay
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Perlita Avilar : I'm leaving
Capt. Barney Miller : I understand
Perlita Avilar : And in case, I don't see you again. I would like to thank you for all your kindness, consideration and the nice letter
Capt. Barney Miller : Don't mention it
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Capt. Barney Miller : Wojo, don't you have things to do ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Yeah, but why the hell bother ?
Capt. Barney Miller : Wojo !
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Barn, these guys come breezin' in here, acting like they own the damn world, like we're the one getting in the way. You might as well chuck the whole right now, and just go sit out on the street
Capt. Barney Miller : My office.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : What's that going to accomplish ?
Det. Ron Harris : Barn, he's got a point
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : I got dibs on the curb
Capt. Barney Miller : Come on, it's just a building. And a damn lousy one at that. I mean, we... we sweat like pigs in the summertime, freeze our tails off in the winter. I got a bathroom that is an embarrassment. The roof leaks. You really want my opinion, we should have been out of here years ago.
Joseph Saxon : Roof, huh ?
Capt. Barney Miller : All right, it's been home, we've done some fine work here. But, they can't take that away from us. What would be so terrible if we... we moved to some nicer quarters ? Someplace with a... electric typewriters. With a bathroom that is a bathroom. A window that actually looks out on something. What would be so terrible ? The point is, what's the difference where we work, as long as we're working together ?
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : I hear they got a Mr. Coffee over at Manhattan South .
Capt. Barney Miller : Oh, there you go. Why don't you grab yourself a cup, when you drop off the professor there. You can head on home from there.
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Thanks Barney
Capt. Barney Miller : You guys too, it's almost check-out time you go ahead on home.
Det. Ron Harris : Thank you Barney
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : I feel better
Jack Norrell : Listen Captain, I think we will be heading out to. We're going take a look at that roof... hey, nice speech
Capt. Barney Miller : Thank you
Professor Vincent Thorndyke : You know, he's right, this place is in a lot of trouble
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Leave it alone
Professor Vincent Thorndyke : If it's a matter of a deed, low interest...
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Leave it alone
Det. Ron Harris : Barn, Arthur and I are going to stop for a bite, do you want to join us
Capt. Barney Miller : No, I have some paperwork to finish up
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : Better hurry
Capt. Barney Miller : Good Night
Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich : See you, Barn
Det. Ron Harris : Good Night, Barney
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Capt. Barney Miller : Come on Woj, in the last month, a hundred people have been traipsing through this place and nobody's bought it yet
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : That doesn't mean that someone won't
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz : Ha,Ha... . Not on their terms... . They're asking for 30 % and wouldn't carry a shred of paper... . I was going to let you guys stay.
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Capt. Barney Miller : Checked with General Services, they confirmed. Mr. Norrell, is the new owner of the 12th precinct.
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Capt. Barney Miller : What can I do for you, Mr. Norrell ?
Jack Norrell : I would like you to meet Joseph Saxon, my architect
Joseph Saxon : Oh my God !
Capt. Barney Miller : Mr. Saxon
Jack Norrell : I thought I would bring him around, show him what we are up against ?