- Capt. Barney Miller: What's Bruno being arrested for ?
- Det. Sgt. Arthur Dietrich: Same old stuff, criminal possession of a dangerous weapon and assault with intent to barbeque.
- Det. Ron Harris: Its a set of hand-painted miniatures imported from Germany depicting the March of Wooden Soldiers.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Look Mr...
- Sam Belinkoff: Belinkoff
- Capt. Barney Miller: Belinkoff... I don't know what you and your friends are trying to accomplish by disrupting this precinct.
- Sam Belinkoff: We are trying to make a point. We are human beings Captain, not a pile of old clothes to be thrown in the dustbin just because the styles have changed.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Very well put.
- Sam Belinkoff: I was a tailor.
- Howard Weckler: What, with rampant unemployment, the city clamping down on welfare, psychiatric hospitals all of a sudden going nuts over whose crazy enough to get in -- these factors only serve to aggravate our problem and dump even more of these people out on the street
- Capt. Barney Miller: What's that got to do with Mr. Belinkoff and Mr. Pratken, who were simply kicked out of their rooms.
- Howard Weckler: Nothing, they're victims of J-51.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Which is ?
- Howard Weckler: The city's new tax abatement program.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Oh
- Howard Weckler: It's all part of New York's plan to revitalize old neighborhoods. You see, with hefty tax incentives in hand, real-estate developers started to buy up dilapidated properties , seedy hotels, flophouses, et cetera, many with a splendid view of the river, then gut them, refurbish them, and then turn them into contemporary condominiums at 250 grand a pop.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Apparently, the city forgot about all those who are cut loose in the process
- Howard Weckler: Quarter of a million dollars, who can afford that.
- Arthur Minch: However, Captain, the point is, the greeting card industry has gone through a bit of a catharsis. Where once our mainstay was the sentimental slop and turgid jingles at which Mr. Kellogg was qso adept. The markets have now splintered, we have become more -- humor and pornography, cards for singles and gay,a religious and ethnic groups, hostages
- Det. Ron Harris: Why are you telling me this?
- Arthur Minch: I'm... not quite sure. At any rate, where do I sign.
- Det. Ron Harris: This is the complaint.