- Harriet: But they always end like that.
- Georgina: Couldn't we have a downbeat ending for once?
- Mother: Well as a matter of fact, there was a slight tragedy.
- Harriet: Really?
- Georgina: Oh, tell us.
- Mother: Steed sprained his thumb. And Tara, poor gal...
- Harriet, Georgina: A fate worse than death?
- Mother: Worse!
- Harriet, Georgina: Worse?
- Mother: The shock... turned her... brunette.
- Tara King: What's Intercrime?
- John Steed: The opposite to, eh, Interpol. Interpol helps the police against the criminals, Intercrime helps the criminals against the police.
- Jackson: Look Dunbar, we're all over this country of yours for one reason: to see if Intercrime can pull of what you call the Crime of the Century. What I would like to know is: what century?
- Mother: Would you like some tea?
- Harriet: Please.
- Mother: And a large whiskey for me.
- Harriet: Whiskey?
- Georgina: We're disappointed in you.
- Mother: Oh, purely for medicinal purposes.
- Harriet: We thought you'd have five fingers of old red-eye.
- Mother: What?
- Georgina: We read all the spy books, you know. Five fingers of old red-eye is the conventional thing.
- Mother: Oh, I see. Five fingers of old red-eye, hm.
- Dunbar: [about Dubois] He's the best cracksman in Europe.
- John Steed: Well he's a criminal. He looks like a criminal. I couldn't get him into a security establishment. I doubt if I could even get him into a prison!
- Colonel Corf: In the Queens name, gentlemen, you're my prisoners and I must ask you to lay down your arms.
- Dunbar: Be your age, Colonel.
- Fuller: You are our prisoner, Colonel.
- Colonel Corf: But you can't say that! I said it first.
- Mother: [narrating during a robbery scene] They were worse then Philistines, they were Villainstines