- Gob: Well, I'm not waiting on my brother. I pass.
- [Gob notices Sitwell's face]
- Gob: You look surprised.
- Stan Sitwell: [adjusting a fake eyebrow] I'm sorry, I must've put it on too high.
- George Michael Bluth: I just came to talk to you about the softball game. We need some girls on the team.
- Michael: It's a league requirement.
- Narrator: One that was difficult to keep, given GOB's behavior in the third inning of last year's game.
- [GOB is running behind one of the female players, slapping her on the behind]
- Narrator: And in the fifth.
- [One of the female players falls down and GOB lays on top of her]
- Narrator: Oh, and before the game.
- [GOB pours water over the female players]
- Michael: We lost our entire outfield and a couple of court cases.
- Michael: Did that oven vent hit you? Your foot is bleeding.
- Lindsay Funke: [under the influence of Teamocil] Oh my god, my foot is bleeding!
- Narrator: Teamocil may cause numbness of the extremities.
- Michael: Don't forget, we need you on the softball team tomorrow.
- Lindsay Funke: Of course, why do you think I'm taking Teamocil?
- Michael: To curb your sex drive.
- Lindsay Funke: Oh yeah. What team are you talking about?
- Narrator: It may also cause short-term memory loss.
- [Mort takes Maeby's book report thinking it's a movie treatment]
- Mort Meyers: What's this? So, you're this Funke everyone's been talking about. You can't be more than what? Fifteen?
- Mae "Maeby" Fünke: [laughing] Marry me!
- Michael: What do you think of when you hear the word, "Sudden Valley"?
- George Michael Bluth: Salad dressing, I think. But for some reason I don't want to eat it.
- Michael: Right. But, "Paradise Gardens"?
- George Michael Bluth: Yeah... Okay, I can... I can see marinating a chicken in that.
- Gob: One of this guy's eyebrows just fell in the bowl of candy beans.
- Stan Sitwell: I always carry a spare.
- Gob: Well I hope you also carry a spare bowl of candy beans!