- [afterword]
- Self - Host: This concludes our entertainment for this evening. You'll be pleased to know that I've solved my barbecue problem. It involves burning down a barn each time you want roast lamb. It's even better on those occasions when I can get my guests into the barn, too. Next time, I shall return with another story. Until then, good night.
- [introduction - Hitchcock is sitting outdoors next to a pot over a fire]
- Self - Host: Good evening, aficionados of outdoor cooking. I'm quite thrilled with my new barbecue. It was rather inexpensive, but of course, I didn't take any of the extras. I eschewed the heat indicator and temperature control, the motor-driven spit, the glass-covered rotisserie, the stainless steel side table, the built-in blower, the warming oven, the utensil rack and the asbestos gloves. I did buy the firestarter, however.
- [picks up two sticks]
- Self - Host: I understand one rubs these together. For buying the lighter, I received free a restaurant credit card.
- [puts down the sticks]
- Self - Host: I expect to have no trouble acquiring charcoal since I have a fellow barbecuer who makes it out of beef steaks.
- [picks up barbecue hat]
- Self - Host: I was given
- [picks up apron]
- Self - Host: this amusing costume to wear. Frankly, I've now lost my appetite completely. Perhaps we should turn our attention to the play.