The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. (TV Series)
Pilot (1993)
Bruce Campbell: Brisco County Jr.
Photos
Quotes
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Amanda Wickwire : You're not an outlaw?
Brisco County Jr. : No.
Amanda Wickwire : Then who are you?
Brisco County Jr. : Brisco County.
Amanda Wickwire : Is that where you're from?
Brisco County Jr. : No ma'm, that's who I am.
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Brisco County Jr. : [alias "Kansas"] Pete, put the gun down.
Pete Hutter : They say I'm the fastest draw west of the Colorado. You care to try me, Kansas?
Brisco County Jr. : I don't know. I'm not that good at geography.
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Brisco County Jr. : You'll have to excuse Comet. He doesn't know he's a horse.
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Brisco County Jr. : Well, you had one hell of a funeral, Dad. Governors from three states and two territories showed up. I'm sorry I missed it. I'm, ah, I'm sorry I missed a lot of things. But I'm gonna finish the job you started. You can count on that. John Bly has to be caught... so I hope you're looking out for me up there. I can use all the help I can get.
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[conversation on board a runaway stagecoach]
Dixie Cousins : What do we do now?
Brisco County Jr. : Well, I can swing out, get a good foothold and climb up to the top of the stage. And then if I'm real careful and God is on my side, I could leap onto the back of the rear horse and work my way out to the lead team, taking care not to fall beneath their thundering hoofs. Then reach out, grab the bridle of the lead horse and rein them in to a safe and steady stop.
Dixie Cousins : Oh, my!
Brisco County Jr. : Or... we can jump!
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Brisco County Jr. : Which one of you is Aristotle Poole?
Socrates Poole : That's Socrates Poole.
Brisco County Jr. : Oh, sorry. I guess that's a common mistake.
Socrates Poole : Not at all.
Brisco County Jr. : Well, it is if you flunked Greek philosophy two years in a row.
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Pete Hutter : You ready?
Brisco County Jr. : Pride comes before a fall, Pete.
Pete Hutter : So does an ounce of lead in a brainpan.
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Dixie Cousins : You like the bed? It comes from France.
Brisco County Jr. : Louis the Fourteenth?
Dixie Cousins : No. I think Louis was the Ninth or Tenth. But then, a lady never counts.
Brisco County Jr. : Oh? Then what are those notches on your bedpost?
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Socrates Poole : You're not quite what I expected, Mr. County.
Brisco County Jr. : Well, expectations lead to disappointment, Socrates. That's why I try not to have any.
Socrates Poole : You almost cost us both our jobs. They do not like to be called robber barons, you know.
Brisco County Jr. : Well, of course they don't. It isn't exactly a compliment.