Action (TV Series)

The Last Ride of the Elephant Princess (2000)

Jay Mohr: Peter Dragon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Dragon : Guy, there's nothing more pathetic than two white men trying to high-five. Put your hand down, there's people watching.

• Peter Dragon : [about Guy]  He's so gay that I'll bet money he's straight.

• [last lines] 

  Peter Dragon : Take me to the office, Lonnie.

  Uncle Lonnie : Petie, you've been up all night, you haven't slept. Why don't you go home?

  Peter Dragon : That is home.

• Wendy Ward : [reading a list of potential directors]  Two left, this one's weird: Cher.

  Peter Dragon : That is weird. You know what's weird about that? That she's not the last name on the list.

• Peter Dragon : Teen comedies? I hate Teen comedies! You get those, you get those same eight idiots running around with that moron David Arquette, getting slashed or wearing bodices or screwing pastry. If I wanna see somebody have sex with a cupcake I'll buy a box of Twinkies and I'll drive down to Tijuana and I'll do it myself.

• Guy : Peter Dragon, Peter Dragon, Peter Dragon

  [moves some flowers to grab Peter's hand] 

  Guy : I am such a fan I feel like I've known you my whole life. I grew up on your movies. You made me want to become a filmmaker. Let's this...

  Peter Dragon : Wow, that's fantastic.

  [raises voice] 

  Peter Dragon : Guy, let go of my hand, Guy! First of all, you're older than me, so save me the AFI achievement speech, okay? And second of all, you burried me in bullshit before we could even say hello.

  Guy : Hey, look at us, already cussing up a storm and having locker room fun!

• Peter Dragon : I wanna see people running around like Michael Jackson at a Toy's R Us, let's go.

• Peter Dragon : Is this another sexual harassment thing? When are women going to realize that 'no' is just another letter short of 'now'?

• Bill Rothstein : There is one little old thing over at Dragonfire films that we've eh, had our eye on for some a while now.

  [glances at his brother, snorts] 

  Bill Rothstein : We want, eh, one of your executives to come work for us.

  Peter Dragon : Eh, eh, I don't know. I don't think so. Stuart Glazer is eh, well he's my president of production, he's honest, trustworthy, loyal, works hard, he's, quite frankly, he's the backbone of the company. I can give him to tomorrow at 8. A.M., how is that?

  Bill Rothstein : He's great, Stuarts great. We don't want Stuart. We want your other executive. We want Wendy Ward.

• Peter Dragon : [after a wild night with the Rothstein brothers]  Where's your coat?

  Wendy Ward : [laughs awkwardly]  One of them ate it.

• Peter Dragon : I don't know how to thank you for this, Wendy.

  Wendy Ward : Here's how to thank me Peter: I want you to turn around, I want you to get into your limo and I want you to drive away. I want you to go back to your life and I want you to forget that you ever met me.

  Peter Dragon : What are you talking about?

  Wendy Ward : I'm through with this, Peter, I called a cab, and I'm gonna go home and pack and I'm gonna move some place, some place clean. But if the movie's a hit, I want you to call me, because I want all my money back.