Action (TV Series)

Blood Money (1999)

Jay Mohr: Peter Dragon

Quotes 

• [on budget cuts] 

  Peter Dragon : If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, let's flush it down, people!

• Peter Dragon : Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill him.

  Stuart Glazer : I think you get fined by the Writers Guild.

  [pause] 

  Stuart Glazer : But it's only 2500.

• Beverly Hills Savings Executive : This film is based around a madman with an arsenal of automatic weapons savagely slaughtering zoo animals.

  Stuart Glazer : Yes, it's sort of a cross between Dr. Dolittle and Apocalypse Now.

  Peter Dragon : Yeah, you get the kids *and* the parents.

  Beverly Hills Savings Executive : I'll tell you what, Peter. I'll give you the 50 million. If you promise to put our credit in big bold letters over that final shot of the dying baby panda bubbling blood out of his sucking chest wound.

• Uncle Lonnie : You gotta think positive. Like when I lost my right testicle I could've *really* been depressed. But I wasn't.

  Peter Dragon : Congratulations.

  Uncle Lonnie : You know, I get out of the shower every morning, I look down and I say: That sack is half *full*!

• Peter Dragon : If writing's hard, how come Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have Oscars?

• Peter Dragon : I was a writer myself, I wrote all my early movies.

  Adam Rafkin : Action comedies?

  Peter Dragon : Gay porno.

• Adam Rafkin : [Peter is strangling Adam]  I'm sorry, I have a - I have writers block!

  Peter Dragon : Oh, you have block huh?

  [grabs something] 

  Peter Dragon : How 'bout I unblock you with this people's choice award?

• Peter Dragon : I may have to lay a few people off, oh yeah, I don't wanna name any names, but for those of you ladies that, eh, routinely mistake a hand in the blouse for sexual harassment, you might wanna call that bitch Gloria Albright and get her off my ass.