- Stanny: You know real life, it ain't like the movies. Life is just a bunch of stories you go through and they all end sooner or later. But it's ok. I'm gonna go find my next story. I hope you do the same
- Donna: Ok. You caught me. I mean, men are not the only ones who like to whack off like zoo monkeys. Why isn't it okay for girls to just like fucking? If you could have sex, once a week, no attachments, no expectations, just straight up fucking, would you?
- Joe: I like fucking. I like it a lot. Who doesn't? But people make such a big deal out of it. There's so much emphasis put on appearance. I don't know why. I've had sex with fat girls, with skinny girls. It's really all the same.
- Stanny: Oh, Yeah. I'm gonna write a book, It's called: Men are from mars and women are fucking morons!
- Stanny: Fuck me. I blew a great setup. Did you ever fuck something up and you *knew* you were fucking it up but you did it anyway? Maybe she fucked it up. I don't know, I'll let you people decide. My opinion is biased. I don't know why there's this myth that women get dependent on men. I mean, everyday in America, some guy snaps and kills his girlfriend and they've got to get restraining orders taken out against them all the time. Women never do that. Oh, you think you're immune, pal? Well, brother, you just haven't met the girl you want to fuckin' kill someday.
- Christi Ann: I know that everyone's a little... self-conscious about how good they are in bed and I was never really, I guess, great in bed because I didn't read Cosmo's latest article on how to please my man because I don't read those magazine articles and, quite frankly, I haven't really been too concerned about pleasing him.
- [Stanny and Joe are fighting]
- Christi Ann: Should we do something?
- Donna: They're probably hungry. Put a bowl of food out for 'em.
- Donna: I've got money but no balls. You've got balls but no money. Shut the light off on your way out.