Unaccompanied Minors (2006)

Tyler James Williams: Charlie Goldfinch

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grace Conrad : This is so not the Christmas I had in mind.

  Donna Malone : Oh, poor baby. I bet you have nice Christmases, don't you, rich kid? Where does your family go? Paris? London? Fiji?

  Grace Conrad : Please. Fiji's a zoo this time of year. We go skiing in Utah.

  Donna Malone : Are your folks still together?

  Grace Conrad : Yes.

  Donna Malone : Then I hate you.

  Grace Conrad : I'm not wild about you either.

  Charlie Goldfinch : Well, I love Christmas - and I'm Jewish.

  Timothy 'Beef' Wellington : My mom's boyfriend says that Christmas is when Frosty the Snowman fights with the devil.

  Donna Malone : It talks.

• Charlie Goldfinch : [after Donna hits him]  That's gonna hurt when I pee!

• Charlie Goldfinch : Oh, man, Harvard's never gonna accept me with a police record, and I'm NOT going to community college.

• Grace Conrad : If you guys get me sent back to that room, your dead.

  Donna Malone : What are you gonna do, rich girl, have your daddy hire a hit man?

  Grace Conrad : Maybe I'll just have him break your dad out of jail.

  Spencer Davenport : [hiding his face behind his hand]  Hmmmm...

  [Grace smirks at Donna, who reacts by attacking Grace and starting a fight] 

  Charlie Goldfinch : Girl fight! Girl fight! Oh, my gosh, it's a girl fight!

• Donna Malone : It's really small in here.

  Charlie Goldfinch : I know. It's great, isn't it?

  Grace Conrad : Charlie, just because you compensate for your abandonment issues by squeezing yourself into small womblike spaces doesn't mean everybody else does.

  [everybody looks at her] 

  Grace Conrad : What? My mom's a psychologist.

• Charlie Goldfinch : Can this night get any better?

• Grace Conrad : Where are my friends?

  Spencer Davenport : Oh, man. Where's my sister?

  Oliver Porter : They went where all the good little boys and girls go for Christmas. They went... somewhere nice. Where, you ask? Why, the comfortable and festive Hoover International Lodge, which is just a few thousand yards down from this delightful little room, which now smells like a horse died in it.

  Charlie Goldfinch : Oh, so we're going to the Lodge?

  Oliver Porter : Uh, I think I have an answer to your question. Are you out of your juice-drinking little minds? Have you looked outside lately? The roads are blocked because there's a little thing called a blizzard going on. That's when the sky opens up and lots of snow falls and makes it hard for people to do things, like fly to Hawaii, for instance.

  Grace Conrad : Who's going to Hawaii?

  Oliver Porter : Not me. Not anymore.

• Charlie Goldfinch : Uhhm, somebody wanna unzip me?

• Charlie Goldfinch : [commandingly]  "Physician, heal thyself!" It's Shakespeare.

  Donna Malone : Man, you're no end of help in a fight, are you?