Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006)

Shea Whigham: Eugene

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Eugene : I'm not sitting in the back.

  Zia : Why not?

  Eugene : 'Cause everybody knows guy in the back seat doesn't have a cock.

  Zia : What?

  Eugene : That's a fact. If the guy in the backseat had a cock, he wouldn't be back there in the first place.

  [Mikal scroffs] 

  Zia : Well, I... I mean, I got a cock man. So, how can... I'm not... Mik, do you have a cock?

  Mikal : Yeah, I have a cock.

  Zia : Wut?

  Mikal : Big fat one.

  [cut to the shot in which Eugene is sitting in between Zia and Mikal in front] 

• Zia : Listen, you know what? Forget Desiree. I got another reason for you to go.

  Eugene : Give it shot.

  Zia : You got anything better to do?

• Eugene : [about Desiree]  Wherever she is, I bet she found someone by now. Probably some black guy who hanged himself by his dick.

• Eugene : Cute? That's what they say about the puppy. The only thing worse is good friend, or nice person. In plain English it means I'll leech off you as long as I can, but don't even think about getting into my pants.

• Zia : I'm not going out tonight. It just makes me depressed.

  Eugene : So, what you gonna do? Kill yourself?

• Eugene : Let me put this way. Since you got here, how many times did you get laid, man?

  Zia : Why?

  Eugene : Just a question.

  Zia : Actually laid?

  Eugene : Yes.

  Zia : None, I think.

  Eugene : You think?

  Zia : None! But what's that got to do with any of this?

  Eugene : Plenty. 'Cause your sperm count is so high, you think you're having an out of body experience like nobody in the fucking universe, man.

• Eugene : I live with my patents and my kid brother Kostya.

  Zia : You're fucking with me.

  Eugene : I'm not fucking with you.

  Zia : I've never heard of a whole family here before.

  Eugene : Mom... offed because she was missing Russia a lot. And my father, he just didn't feel like going on without her. But, what really did it for him was my little brother turning out to be gay.

  Zia : And your kid brother?

  Eugene : Kostya?

  Zia : Kost... ya.

  Eugene : I guess, he had it in his genes, man.

• Mikal : Where are you going?

  Eugene : East-ish.

  Mikal : East-ish?

• [Kid Kostya is going to hang himself] 

  Eugene : Step down from the table.

  Kid Kostya : No. First tell me.

  Eugene : Step down from the table and I'll tell you.

  [Kostya removes the rope from his neck and steps down from the table] 

  Eugene : [Eugene slaps him hard, so he falls on the floor]