The History Boys (2006)

Dominic Cooper: Dakin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Timms : You've got crap handwriting, sir!

  Tom Irwin : It's your eyesight that's bad, and we know what that's caused by.

  Timms : Sir! Is that a coded reference to the mythical dangers of self-abuse?

  Tom Irwin : Possibly. It might even be a joke.

  Dakin : A joke, sir. Oh. Are jokes going to be a feature, sir? We need to know as it affects our mindset.

• [about Irwin] 

  Dakin : Foreskins and stuff. "Oh, sir, you devil!"

  Scripps : Have a heart. He's only five minutes older than we are.

• Scripps : What makes you think he'd do it with you?

  [Dakin smiles] 

  Scripps : You complacent fuck.

  Dakin : Does the Archbishop of Canterbury know you talk like this?

• Dakin : I just wanted to say thank you.

  Scripps : So? Give him a subscription to The Spectator or a box of Black Magic. Just because you've got a scholarship doesn't mean you've got to give him unfettered access to your dick.

• Dakin : Don't think we're shocked by your mentioning the word "foreskin," sir.

  Crowther : No, sir. Some of us even have them.

  Lockwood : Not Posner though, 'cause he's, well, Jewish. It's one of several things he doesn't have.

  Posner : Fuck off.

  Lockwood : That's not racist, though.

  Crowther : No?

  Lockwood : It's race-related... but not racist.

• [Dakin is groping Fiona, using World War I as a metaphor for his "assault" on her body. He moves his hand up her thighs but she pushes it away] 

  Dakin : What's the matter?

  Fiona : No-man's land.

  Dakin : Ah, fuck. What do I do with this?

  [he points to his erection] 

  Fiona : Carry out a controlled explosion?

• [about religion] 

  Scripps : It's what you don't do.

  Dakin : You don't *not wank*? Jesus, you're headed for the bin.

  Scripps : It's not for ever.

  Dakin : Yeah? Well, tell me on the big day and I'll stand well back.

• Dakin : I'm just kicking the tyres on this one but, further to the drink, what I was really wondering was whether there were any circumstances in which there was any chance of your sucking me off... Or something similar... Actually, that would please Hector.

  Tom Irwin : What?

  Dakin : "Your sucking me off". It's a gerund. He likes gerunds. And "your being scared shitless", that's another gerund.

• Dakin : How do you think history happens?

  Tom Irwin : What?

  Dakin : How does stuff happen, do you think? People decide to do stuff. Make moves. Alter things.

  Tom Irwin : I'm not sure what you're talking about.

  Dakin : No? Think about it.

  Tom Irwin : Some do... make moves, I suppose. Others react to events. In 1939 Hitler made a move on Poland. Poland defended itself.

  Dakin : ...gave in.

  Tom Irwin : Is that what you mean?

  Dakin : No. Not Poland anyway. Was Poland taken by surprise?

  Tom Irwin : To some extent. Though they knew something was up.

• Dakin : Next week? Get this man - "You can suck me off next week"! I've heard of a busy schedule but this is ridiculous. God, we've got a long way to go. Do you ever take your glasses off?

  Tom Irwin : Why?

  Dakin : It's a start.

  Tom Irwin : Not with me. Taking off my glasses is the last thing I do.

  Dakin : Yeh? I'll look forward to it.

• [about Dakin/Irwin] 

  Dakin : So how would you say thank you?

  Scripps : Same as you probably. On my knees.

• Dakin : The more you read, though, the more you'll see that literature is actually about losers.

  Scripps : No.

  Dakin : It's consolation. All literature is consolation.

• Dakin : What happened with Hector? On the bike?

  Scripps : As per. Except I managed to get my bag down. I think he thought he'd got me going. In fact it was my Tudor Economic Documents, Volume 2.

• [as Irwin prepares to get on Hector's bike] 

  Dakin : Do you want my Tudor Economic Documents?

• [Fiona walks past. Dakin and Scripps gaze lustfully at her] 

  Dakin : Lecher though one is - or aspires to be - it occurs to me that the lot of woman cannot be easy, who must suffer such inexpert male fumblings, virtually on a daily basis. Are we scarred for life, do you think?

  Scripps : We must hope so.

• Tom Irwin : I didn't know you were that way inclined.

  Dakin : I'm not, but it's the end of term; I've got into Oxford; I though we might push the boat out.

• Dakin : I'm beginning to like him more.

  Posner : [hopefully]  Who? Me?

  Dakin : [contemptuously]  Irwin. Though he hates me.

• Dakin : [V/O]  "How does history happen?" I asked Irwin. And he couldn't answer me. But now he knew. Nothing special.