Lage Raho Munna Bhai (2006)
Sanjay Dutt: Murli Prasad Sharma (Munna Bhai)
Photos
Quotes
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [Munna Bhai is slapped by a police officer] Gandhi said if you are slapped, kindly show them the other cheek!
[he turns his other cheek toward the officer]
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [the officer slaps his other cheek, Munnbhai punches him] Gandhi didn't say what to do after he hits the other one!
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Jhanvi : Do you walk on the path shown by Mahatma Gandhi?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Of course! I walk 3 miles everyday on Mahatma gandhi Street
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : What is on 2 october?
Circuit : Dry Day brother.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : What is Dry Day?
Circuit : No idea brother.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : One day I woke up and saw that my father had gone.
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Circuit : [drunk Munan trying to put ring on Jahnvi's Finger] Bro, Third finger from the left.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Which one?
Circuit : Third. One, Two, Three.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [advising what to say to someone who had smashed the hand of a statue of Gandhi] Quite simple. Drag the scoundrel to the statue and give him a...
Mahatma Gandhi : [interrupting] And give him a stone and tell him to smash the entire statue.
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Psychiatrist : Don't reinforce his hallucinations!
Circuit : Hey you... I'll whack you! If the Bhai says he sees Bapu, then he sees Bapu.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : I'll whack you so hard, you'll see stars in the day. That's hallucination!
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : How is it that only you and me see Bapu?
Circuit : Bhai, it's your tremendous willpower. You brought Bapu out of the books. Like Aladdin's genie. I took you to the library, so Bapu said hello to me too. No tension, Bhai. Once he sees India's dismal state, he'll go back to the books.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [referring to Gandhi] He's done so much for us. Been jailed, fasted, toured the entire country in a 'dhoti'... even got shot. Here. And what have we done for him? Reduced him to a wall hanging. A mute witness to our corruption. He dreamt of a fantastic India... but we've ruined the country.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Are you a ghost or a spirit?
Mahatma Gandhi : Spirit, no. Inspiration, yes.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Which shirt should I wear?
Circuit : Why worry about a shirt, boss? You'll be on the radio, not TV.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [advising what to say to someone who had smashed the hand of a statue of Gandhi] You should have told him to strike down the statue.
Mahatma Gandhi : Topple down all my statues in the country.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [repeating Gandhi's answer] Topple down every statue of Bapu in the country.
Mahatma Gandhi : Remove my pictures from every wall.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [repeating Gandhi's answer] Remove Bapu's photos from the walls.
Mahatma Gandhi : Erase my name from buildings, roads, currency.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [repeating Gandhi's answer] Remove his name from buildings, roads, currency notes.
Mahatma Gandhi : If you must, keep me in your heart.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [repeating Gandhi's answer] If you must honor Bapu, then keep him in your heart.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [responding to someone who had said that India had progressed] Progress, my foot! We have taps but no water. Bulbs but no electricity. Potholes dotting the roads, hawkers cramming the sidewalks. Book a train ticket, and you're on the waiting list. Get a confirmation, the train gets cancelled. Go to a hospital, no bed. Get a bed, no doctor. Who do you complain to? The politician sends you to the clerk. The clerk is always in a meeting. Call him at home, he's in the bath. Finally get through, he wants your application in duplicate. Then the application goes round and round and round... If Bapu were around today, he'd say... 'We won our freedom, but lost our people.'
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : I need your help.
Mahatma Gandhi : If you need to beat or kidnap someone, I can't help. I am rather weak in that department.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : If your enemy swears at you, smile back at him.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : If someone hits you on one cheek, offer him the other. This way, his hatred will reduce... and his respect for you will increase.
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Hari Desai : How did you get inside?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Through the door. Why? You come through the window?
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Lucky, I'm told in India a kid's born every two seconds.
Lucky Singh : Possible. So?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : So there's got to be a marriage every second?
Lucky Singh : So?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : So a boy must be proclaiming love to a girl every half-second?
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Circuit : I'll explain things to her. Don't worry.
[Murli slaps Circuit]
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : What will you explain? What will you explain? Will you explain to her that I am goon?
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Jhanvi : What's going on, Murli?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Gandhi-ing.
Jhanvi : Gandhi-ing?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : The opposite of bullying.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Bapu, for the first time in my life, I have a problem I can't solve. Use any idea and save me, Bapu.
Mahatma Gandhi : There's one solution.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : What?
Mahatma Gandhi : Kidnap Lucky's daughter. Strike a deal with him. His daughter in return for the house.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : I already rejected that idea last night.
Mahatma Gandhi : Another solution. Just shoot Lucky.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Hey, Bapu, your ideas are suicidal.
Mahatma Gandhi : These aren't my ideas, son. They're yours. Isn't it how you've done things so far? You're not going to follow my ways. So what's the point?
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Hari Desai : You want to fight me? Come on. I used to be a boxing champion.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : You may have been a boxing champion. I'm a slapping champion.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : To win over your enemy, you don't need lawyers.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : I've just met a lawyer.
Lawyer : Which lawyer?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [looking at a picture of Gandhi] He's a great lawyer. Studied in London, practiced in South Africa.
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Lucky Singh : [referring to Gandhi] Why are you so obsessed with Bapu? His ways don't work today... and they didn't work then. Three bullets got him. Remember?
Mahatma Gandhi : But who really won? The one who fired the bullet, or the one who took it on his chest?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Correct. In whose honor do we have the dry day?
Mahatma Gandhi : Correct. Whose statue is in the park?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Correct. Whose face is on currency notes?
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Psychiatrist : [providing the answers to the questions that Gandhi had not answered] These are the answers to the questions. Take it. Read it, and ask Bapu again. And I'm sure he'll answer this time. Try it out.
[Murli studies the paper with the questions and the answers]
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Your mother's name?
Mahatma Gandhi : Putlibai.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Who conferred the title 'Mahatma'?
Mahatma Gandhi : Rabindranath Tagore.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Your ashram in South Africa?
Mahatma Gandhi : Tolstoy Farm.
[Murli drops the paper and looks shattered]
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : You lied to me! Why? Why did you lie to me?
Circuit : What could I have said, Bhai?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : That I'm crazy! That darn doctor was right about the chemical mess in my brain.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Whoever does the bowling, it's my wicket down.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [advising a prospective bride who will meet her prospective husband in a restaurant] Observe how he calls the waiter. If he is disrespectful, run from there.
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Lucky Singh : Don't mess with me. I have the police, the power, the money. What do you have?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : I have Bapu, buddy.
Jhanvi : And I have the radio.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : A hundred years ago, a great man was born in our country. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.
Jhanvi : Bapu showed us the right path. Sadly, today, we've lost our way.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : I can break your 206 bones and take the house. But no. Watch my Gandhi-ing now. No slaps, no guns, but I'll get back the house. In fact, you'll hand me the key. With a smile.
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Jhanvi : Our friend is very unwell.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : He's in a critical condition. But he doesn't think he's sick. Help me heal him.
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Mahatma Gandhi : [to someone who lost his father's money in the stock market] First, find the courage and admit the truth to your father.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [repeating Gandhi's advice] First go and confess to your father.
Victor D'Souza : Easier to kill myself under a train.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Are you crazy? You make the mistake and your father suffers! Think your dad will enjoy seeing your dead body? Those shoulders you rode on as a child... will now bear the weight of your bier! For six months, he won't believe you're gone. He'll keep calling your phone, hoping you'll answer. Don't try to act smart.
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Spitting victim : He's my upstairs neighbor. Every day, he spits tobacco outside my door. And then carries on most casually. I want to strangle him!
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : No, no. Do just the opposite. Let him spit. In turn, you smile warmly. In front of him, wipe his spit clean.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Say sorry.
Circuit : Why, Bhai?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Bapu says it reduces hate, and increases respect. Say sorry.
Circuit : Bapu will ruin our business.
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Lucky Singh : You're a strange character. I was wondering how to strike you out. But you've bowled yourself out.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : The match is not over yet, Lucky. I'll protest peacefully until you return the house.
Lucky Singh : All alone? Your team's vanished, buddy.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : [referring to Gandhi] I still have one mighty player. Your best ball can't get him out.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Tell me, what are you going to do in the village? You don't even know how to plow.
Circuit : Bhai, if I work the plow, what will the bulls do?
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Circuit : Bhai, this guy is God. You know what, you select the Indian cricket team. Pick guys with 100 runs in their horoscope. India will never lose. 1100 not out.
Batuk Maharaj : Don't mock my ability to read the charts.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Where was your ability during the tsunami... the earthquake, and the flood?
Batuk Maharaj : Listen, fellow, I don't predict weather. I predict peoples' future.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : You don't even know your own future. How can you predict someone else's?
Batuk Maharaj : Who says I don't know my own future?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : If you do, tell us what's going to happen to you in the next two minutes.
Batuk Maharaj : What's going to happen?
Circuit : How would I know? You're the astrologer here. Tell me, buddy. Is there some danger coming your way?
Batuk Maharaj : Danger? What danger?
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Circuit, pull out your gun.
Circuit : [holding a gun] Look. Danger.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Hey, Circuit, take aim. I'm going to count to ten. After ten, just shoot.
Circuit : Yes, Bhai.
Batuk Maharaj : This is ridiculous. You can't do this.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Hey, Batuk... if you're confident about your predictions, why worry?
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : So now you've spun a new yarn. The girl's bad luck will kill the groom. How do you know that?
Batuk Maharaj : I've read both their horoscopes.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : You're making a big mistake. You'll never find another such girl for your son. Not many girls have the courage to say the truth in public. She was born at 11:55 am. Is that her fault? Use your common sense. Why be influenced by silly stars?
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Circuit : Hey, I have an idea. We'll become professors. Teach history to the villagers.
Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : We know nothing about history.
Circuit : So what? Neither do those villagers!
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Friends, don't be afraid. I'm a non-violent man. The bullet will go through his skull, but nothing will happen to him.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Circuit, it's a good thing Bapu isn't really around. If he was, this nation of cowards would make him weep. He gave up his life saying 'speak the truth.' But today, whoever tells the truth is doomed. This girl dared to be honest, and the wedding is off.
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Someone, make him understand. Make him see sense. I'm a stupid goon, but I can tell right from wrong. Why can't you educated people understand?
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Sir, this man doesn't know his own future. How can he predict others' future?
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Murli Prasad Sharma - Munna Bhai : Stop bullying. Start Gandhi-ing.