Hoodwinked! (2005)

Anthony Anderson: Detective Bill Stork

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nicky Flippers : [preparing to question Red, whose hands are still in cuffs]  What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists can slip right out. How about a cage?

  Det. Bill Stork : [on radio, eager]  Bring in the cage!

  Nicky Flippers : I was being sarcastic.

  Det. Bill Stork : [resigned, into radio]  Sarcasm. Strike the cage...

• Chief Grizzly : [referring about the Woodsman]  This guy's a loon.

  Det. Bill Stork : Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon.

• Chief Grizzly : This looks pretty open and shut. Little miss rosy-capes making covert deliveries to the goodie-tycoon. Wolfie tries to eat 'em both, then crazy flannel-pants with the axe here busts in, swinging vigilante-style. Take 'em downtown boys!

  Det. Bill Stork : Ah, it's the woods chief, we don't have a downtown.

  Chief Grizzly : You know what I mean! Just book'em!

• Granny : [Granny has just revealed that she is an extreme sports athlete]  Honey, don't look at your granny like that.

  Red Puckett : I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G! Or are you the Bandit?

  [beat] 

  Det. Bill Stork : Awkward!

  [awkwardly side slips his way out of the room] 

  Granny : You're being ridiculous, Red.

  Red Puckett : *I'm* being ridiculous? You're off living... La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills! And I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?

  Tommy : I, have a...

  Nicky Flippers : Coffee break, anyone?

  Chief Grizzly : Uh, yeah.

  Det. Bill Stork : Whose got my keys?

  Raccoon Jerry : You think Granny would mind if I went through her garbage?

  Chief Grizzly : Excuse us.

  [Everyone except Red and Granny files out of the room] 

  Granny : I thought you were happy.

  Red Puckett : Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that?

  Granny : Of course you do. You're a Puckett.

  Red Puckett : [sighs]  I don't know what that means anymore.

• Det. Bill Stork : What is it boy? Truck! Trouble at the mill! Is the barn on fire? The barn's on fire! The well! Timmy's stuck in the well!

• Nicky Flippers : I wanna know more about this fellow with the axe. How does he fit into all this?

  Det. Bill Stork : Maybe you should AXE him yourself! Ha ha ha ha haaa ha haaa! You-haha-see haa ha haaa! Axe-haaa ha ha! He he hee...

  Chief Grizzly : [Stares blankly at Bill] 

  Det. Bill Stork : [glumly]  I'll bring him in.