Jerry Springer: The Opera (2005 TV Movie)

David Bedella: Warm-up Man, Satan

Photos 

Quotes 

• [to Jesus] 

  [singing] 

  Mary : Where were you when I was on my own? / Where were you when they rolled the stone? / Where were you when I was getting old? / Where you when I was sick and bald? / Where, where, where were you?

  Satan : [singing]  Jesus wasn't there, he didn't care!

  Eve : [singing]  Where were you when the children cried?

  Adam : [singing]  Where were you when the children died?

  Jesus : [singing]  Where were you when I was crucified? / Where were you when they pierced my side?

• Warm-up Man : Ladies and gentleman / People of most nations of the world

  Ensemble : Go, Jerry / Go, Jerry / Jerry

  Warm-up Man : Welcome the host / Of the greatest show on the earth

  Ensemble : Go Jerry / Go Jerry / Jerry

  Warm-up Man : Bigger than Dave Letterman / Bigger than Bob Hope / and give or take a few million / Bigger than the fucking Pope.

• Ensemble : For all eternity, you will be, you will be...

  Satan : Fired and flambeéd, baked and sauteéd, steamed and stewed

  Ensemble : then...

  Satan : barbecued!

  Ensemble : then...

  Satan : grilled and roasted!

  Ensemble : then...

  Satan : Lightly toasted!

  Ensemble : Then, then, then, then...

  Jerry Springer : Then what?

  Ensemble , Satan : Fucked up the ass with barbed wire!

  Jerry Springer : Okay that's the down side! What's the up side? If I succeed in this, what's in it for me?

  Ensemble , Satan : NOT getting ass fucked with barbed wire!

  Jerry Springer : What are the hours?