- Alyssa Jones: [upon seeing Randal] WHY did you have to bring him along?
- Dante Hicks: He insisted on coming. He said he wasn't going to miss what was probably going to be the social event of the season.
- Randall Graves: [while flipping through Julie Dwyer's "death cards"] Got it. Got it. Want it. Need it. Got it.
- [the keys to Dante's car and the Quick stop have accidentally ended up near Julie's crotch]
- Dante Hicks: Quick. Go down there and get them.
- Randall Graves: No way. I'm not reaching into that terminal vagina.
- Mr. Dwyer: [upon discovering Dante trying to retrieve the keys] Even in death you can't leave my poor Julie alone! I'll fucking kill you!
- Mrs. Dwyer: Oh, you sick, sick pervert.
- Randall Graves: Hey, Lady! We're not the ones who laid our daughter out in a bippy top!
- [upon learning that Caitlin had told everyone about Sang except him]
- Dante Hicks: Damn Caitlin and her secrets.
- [Caitlin and Alyssa once had a lesbian tryst]
- Alyssa Jones: Oh, Dante. You have no idea.
- Dante Hicks: If anyone ever asks, I wanna be laid out in a suit...
- Randall Graves: If anyone ever asks me I'm tellin' them you wanna be laid out in a belly blast!
- [first lines]
- Randall Graves: You know what I can't wait to get ahold of? Those death cards they give out here. You ever see 'em?
- Dante Hicks: Would you lower your voice? People are mourning here.
- Randall Graves: Holy shit! There they are, come on.
- Dante Hicks: Fine. Just whatever you do, don't embarass me.
- Randall Graves: If you're not already embarassed by your own sad fucking existence, then I assure you, nothing I can ever do or say is going to make you blush.
- Dante Hicks: When we get up there, I'm going right to the coffin.
- Randall Graves: You're supposed to express regret to the family first.
- Dante Hicks: Yeah, well, I don't think her parents need to see me right now.
- Randall Graves: What are you talking about?
- Dante Hicks: They caught Julie and I together once.
- Randall Graves: Get outta here!
- Dante Hicks: Lower your voice!
- Randall Graves: They caught you fucking Julie?
- Dante Hicks: Worse.
- Randall Graves: Worse than fucking?
- Dante Hicks: Something no parent wants to see their child engaged in.
- Randall Graves: Butt-fucking?
- Dante Hicks: Would you please shut up?
- Death Card: Julie Marie Dwyer / April 15, 1994 / Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee. I detest all my sins, because of Thy just punishments. But most of all, because they offend Thee, my God - who is all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more, and to avoid the near occasion of sin.
- Death Card: Happy are the deceased - As far as we know.
- Death Card: Blessed are the dead - For they are without life.