Employee of the Month (2006)

Andy Dick: Lon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Attractive Woman : Are you staring at my breasts?

  Lon : I don't know.

• Lon : Wow, that's gotta hurt. I mean, he's always doin' that to you. Stealing your thunder. You remember the red head? In gardening? Boinked her behind the monkey grass. And the asian in automotive? Did her on a pile of carburetors. Oh, and the blonde in frozen foods, with the... Doink! Doink! Turkeys done! Remember her?

  [Lon sticks his fingers out of his chest] 

• Lon : What the fuck?

• Russell : Think about it guys, we could be working over there at Maxi-Mart and that place really sucks. Pass me the chips there, eight balls.

  [Iqbal passes a bulk size bag of chips] 

  Lon : Plus, I hear they make you wear those house-arrest ankle bracelet things, so they know where you are all the time and if you leave the main floor, you get a little shocker.

  [Lon blows a party kazoo] 

  Russell : True. I knew a guy in upper management, man, went crazy. Strapped one of those things around his hairy ballsack, ran out in the parking lot and blew a three dollar Hawaiian wonder cooler all over the place.

  Iqbal : Ids-kay, ids-kay.

  Russell : Knocked the little Korean kid right out of shopping basket.

• Lon : I can't see who's calling me a loser.

  Zack : Well, I'll give you a hint. He waxes his forearms and lost his virginity in the Boy Scouts.

  Lon : Uncle Donny?