[
from trailer]
Cole:
Why are you here?
Jake Huard:
To serve my country, sir
Jake Huard:
He's right you know.
Twins:
Can I borrow your starch?
Jake Huard:
Look, I don't get it. Why are you still here?
Twins:
You want to know why I stay in this room?
Jake Huard:
Yeah.
Twins:
Cause Jake, you're my Mississippi.
Jake Huard:
I'm your what?
Twins:
People who live in Arkansas, you know what their favorite state is?
Jake Huard:
No.
Twins:
Mississippi. Cause Mississippi's the only thing that keeps Arkansas from being the worst state in the whole country.
Jake Huard:
I'm Mississippi.
Twins:
Well you sure as hell ain't California. Listen, Cole and Whitaker are so busy tryin' to run you out they forgot about me. As a matter of fact, they've forgotten about every other plebe in this whole company. That's why I stay in this room Jake. Cause if Mississippi quits, then all of a sudden Arkansas is the worst state in the whole country.
Lt. Commander Burton:
He also said you were the biggest pain in the ass he'd ever met.
Jake Huard:
I had to go back a couple times.
Lt. Commander Burton:
How many?
Jake Huard:
34 straight days, sir.
Lt. Commander Burton:
Couple kids decided last minute they'd rather have fun at college.
Jake Huard:
That's why I gotta get the hell outta here. If I can't find better guys than you, I'm in trouble.
Jake Huard:
What are you looking at? Porn?
Twins:
It's not porn.
Estrada:
Hey, you guys looking at porn?
Twins:
Yeah.
Twins:
Hey, Huard? I said, I'll see you after leave.
Jake Huard:
Sir, yes, sir.
Jake Huard:
What kind of father wants his own son to fail?
Ali:
She's what's getting you through?
Jake Huard:
Well, she's what got me here. But she's not the one who's getting me through.
Cole:
What is the latitude of Annapolis?
Whitaker:
Who were the first three naval officers to hold the rank as admirals?
Cole:
How long have you been in the Navy?
Jake Huard:
Sir, the latitude of Annapolis is 38.58 degrees north. Sir, the first three admirals were Dewey, Porter and Farragut. Sir, I've been in the Navy all my bloomin' life, sir. My mother was a mermaid, my father was King Neptune. Every bone in my body is a spar. And when I spits, I spits tar. I's hard. I is, I am, I are.
Ali:
Any plans before you summer cruise?
Jake Huard:
Uh, yeah. I think I might go over to Sir Frankie's and see if there are any escorts around.
Ali:
Really?
Jake Huard:
Yeah.
Ali:
Save your money.
Jake Huard:
Sir. What do you think would have happened if that fight went another round?
Cole:
You really want to find out? Come join me in the Marines.
Twins:
[
on "North" Beach diet] Not only am I the president, but I'm also a client.
Whitaker:
Come on you Butterball move it!
Twins:
Sir, I'm trying, Sir!
Whitaker:
Stop trying and do it!
Twins:
Sir, yes, sir!
Whitaker:
You know what, I'm gonna start calling you Twins, do you know why, Twins?
Twins:
Sir, because I carry the weight of two normal people, sir
Whitaker:
Oh you're smart too, so you can realize that if your fat ass doesn't make it up that obstacle your fat ass will be separated! Do you understand Twins?
Twins:
Sir, yes, sir
Estrada:
Help is like sex... Take it from whoever and whenever you can get it!
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