The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

Catherine Keener: Trish

Photos 

Quotes 

• Andy Stitzer : [defending himself from Trish's comments on him riding a bicycle]  Einstein rode a bike!

  Trish : He had a wife, who he fucked, by the way!

• Trish : [phone rings]  Hello?

  Andy Stitzer : Hey, how you doing?

  Trish : Um... how you doing?

  Andy Stitzer : I'm well.

  Trish : Who is this?

  Andy Stitzer : This is... James.

  [hits himself with the phone] 

  Trish : James? Do I know you, James?

  Andy Stitzer : [stammering]  I was wondering whether you had a few minutes to talk about a little laundry detergent.

  Trish : Are you a telemarketer, James?

  Andy Stitzer : Yep.

  Trish : Are you at the top of a tall building? Can you get to a roof quickly? Jump off! I mean, you people are sick. Get a real fucking job, why don't you? Go shoot yourself in the fucking head! Hey, why don't you just, you know, get a knife and run into it? Why don't you do that, huh?

  Andy Stitzer : Okay.

  Trish : All right, I'll see you later, James.

  Andy Stitzer : Nice to talk to you.

  Trish : Fuck your mother, okay? Bye-bye.

  [hangs up] 

• Trish : I'm throwing myself at you and all you can think about are fucking toys.

  Andy Stitzer : They're not fucking toys! This is Ironman, okay?

• Trish : [on the bed, kissing]  Do you have protection?

  Andy Stitzer : I don't like guns.

• Trish : What is this, your roofie, your date drug?

  Andy Stitzer : It's a mentos. They're the freshmaker.

• Andy Stitzer : [Calling to Trish, who is out of the room]  Do you mind if I use your, uh, magnum?

  Trish : [From the other room. Excited]  Umm... Yeah!

  Andy Stitzer : [stretches condom over arm]  Wow.

• [last lines] 

  Trish : So how was it?

• Trish : And what is this?

  Andy Stitzer : [sounding exasperated]  A vagina.