Bottom Live 2003: Weapons Grade Y-Fronts Tour (2003 Video)

Adrian Edmondson: Eddie

Quotes 

• Eddie : [Whilst Richie is having his waste sucked out of his body] 

  [laughing] 

  Eddie : Hey, who could have known you could be so full of shit!

• Richie : What is the bright side of having a sofa up your arse?

  Eddie : You can sit down while you stand up.

• Eddie : Bastard! Bastard bastard bastard. Stupid stupid bastard. you stupid stupid bastard. Stupid bastard arse! You arse! You stupid arse bastard. you stupid arse, bollock bastard, nipple, wank, turd! Why won't this ducking toaster work!

• Richie : Oh that reminds me. Eddie, the kitchen sink... Have you got a plunger?

  Eddie : Certainly have. That's what all the ladies say.

• Eddie : [a set piece has left Ade slightly out of breath]  That's the last time I snog a bird from Southend. I got a cold, herpes and I lost me fucking wallet. Tell me, do all birds in Southend have beards?

• Eddie : Ooooh, you've got a lot of anger in you, haven't you?

  Richie : Yes, I ruddy, bloody have! It's all in here.

  Eddie : Oh yeah? Where?

  Richie : [Points to his temple]  This bit right here.

  [Headbutts Eddie] 

  Eddie : Yeah, I feel your pain. Oh boy! That is a lot of pain. That is a very angry pain, isn't it? Oh Christ, you're so fucking angry, you could hurt someone like this.

  [Headbutts Richie] 

  Richie : Oh no! Oh God! Quad bike flashback! Oh God! It's just like the last time, except this time Eddie's not standing there with the brake cable in one hand and some scissors in the other. No, Eddie, Eddie, look, it's not that kind of anger that I'm talking about. This is the kind of anger that I'm talking about.

  [Knees Eddie in the groin] 

  Eddie : Oh, I see! It's that kind of anger. It's much more sort of... *personal.* Not so much in your face, as in your bollocks kind of anger.

  Richie : That's the one, you've got it, Eddie.

  Eddie : Right-dokey, understood, me old ready-steady, oven ready, chuck steak, skip, jab, dip your finger licking, foul tasting, arse basting, vomit in a basin, spud u don't like!

• Southender 1 : [retorting to a Southend Joke]  Oi, you're a wanker!

  Southender 2 : Wanker!

  Richie : Oh, look!

  Eddie : I see 'em, yeah.

  Richie : It's like you've got a little play worked out, where you shout "Wanker!" and he shouts "Wanker!" What you don't realise is that everyone here wants to kill you right now!