Eating Out (I) (2004)
Scott Lunsford: Caleb Peterson
Photos
Quotes
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Caleb Peterson : What if he tries to grab me?
Kyle : We're not pirates. We just dress like them... and chase bootie. He'll be just as nervous as you, so try not to punch him if he makes a move on you or anything...
Caleb Peterson : You know, I don't think I'd punch him. I think I'd probably just start crying or something.
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Caleb Peterson : Man, now I really wanna be a fag.
Kyle : You and Ricky Martin both.
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[Tiffani stands in the doorway]
Tiffani : I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.
Kyle : That's Mister Miss Thing to you.
Caleb Peterson : Tiffani?
Tiffani : You little hose huffer!
Frank Peterson : Why don't you come join us?
Tiffani : Gomez, Morticia, and little Wednesday.
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Caleb Peterson : Do I look gay?
Kyle : Hmm... Like an insatiable bottom.
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Caleb Peterson : I think you turned me gay.
Tiffani : I did not "turn you gay!" How could you say that?
Caleb Peterson : I mean, don't take it personally.
Tiffani : I am a person! How else am I supposed to take it?
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Kyle : You stole my boyfriend!
Caleb Peterson : He's not your boyfriend.
Kyle : Oh, so now you're gay?
Caleb Peterson : This was your idea.
Kyle : You knew how I felt about him!
Caleb Peterson : We're not doing anything.
Kyle : You're going on a date!
Caleb Peterson : That was HIS idea!
Kyle : I've been stalking him for years; you decided to be gay for one night.
Caleb Peterson : I'm not gay! Why don't you just tell him you like him?
Kyle : That would be as futile as drug testing at the Gay Games.
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Marc : [entering the bathroom] We need to talk.
Caleb Peterson : [in mid-pee] D-dude!
Marc : I wasn't being honest. Now, I got to talk about it now or...
Caleb Peterson : I'm taking a leak.
Marc : Hmm, please, I've seen it.
Marc : [addressing the dick] How ya doin'?
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Caleb : I'm gonna circumcise your fucking neck!
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Caleb Peterson : This isn't a kegger, bro. This is, like, serious. Who'd you invite?
Kyle : Like they said to Anne Frank, why don't you answer the door and find out?
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Kyle : Being gay is more than... listening to good music and eating low-fat foods. There are certain things you have to do to convince the general public.
Caleb Peterson : Oh. We could stage a bashing.
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Caleb Peterson : I waited twenty-four days to have sex with you.
Tiffani : Well, I didn't want to seem like a slut!
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[Caleb and Marc return to Marc's darkened, vacated apartment]
Caleb Peterson : [calling out] Gwen!
Marc : Oh, trust me. If she were here, she'd be all up in our pubes.