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"Two and a Half Men"
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"Two and a Half Men" (2003) More at IMDbPro »

Episodes Rated by IMDb User Rating

Rated Episodes

# Episode User
Rating
User
Votes


6.19  The Two Finger Rule 8.7 85

7.1  818-jklpuzo 8.4 105

7.8  Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. 8.3 62

1.12  Camel Filters and Pheremones 8.2 262

1.0  Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot 8.2 70

6.9  The Mooch at the Boo 8.2 80

6.21  Above Exalted Cyclops 8.2 66

3.6  Hi, Mr. Horned One 8.1 134

1.1  Pilot 8.1 175

6.20  Hello, I am Alan Cousteau 8.1 60

6.1  Taterhead Is Our Love Child 8.1 108

5.17  Fish in a Drawer 8.1 146

5.8  Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 8.1 99

4.24  Prostitutes and Gelato 8.1 102

4.11  Walnuts and Demerol 8.0 105

6.24  Baseball Was Better with Steroids 8.0 89

6.3  Damn You, Eggs Benedict 8.0 79

2.23  Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab 8.0 123

3.7  Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop 7.9 104

6.14  David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 7.9 63

6.15  I'd Like to Start with the Cat 7.9 48

3.16  Ergo, the Booty Call 7.9 92

6.16  She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime 7.9 64

1.7  If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake 7.9 120

3.12  That Special Tug 7.9 82

4.6  Apologies for the Frivolity 7.9 108

5.16  Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty 7.9 85

3.8  That Voodoo That I Do Do 7.8 91

3.11  Santa's Village of the Damned 7.8 95

1.23  Just Like Buffalo 7.8 101

2.10  The Salmon Under My Sweater 7.8 89

5.10  Kinda Like Necrophilia 7.8 88

4.23  Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin 7.8 108

2.13  Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow 7.8 80

2.17  Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! 7.7 95

4.19  Smooth as a Ken Doll 7.7 100

2.24  Does This Smell Funny to You 7.7 95

3.14  Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded 7.7 87

2.3  A Bag Full of Jawea 7.7 94

6.2  Pie Hole, Herb 7.7 72

5.4  City of Great Racks 7.7 70

5.13  The Soil is Moist 7.7 76

1.4  If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap 7.7 124

1.10  Merry Thanksgiving 7.7 120

1.21  No Sniffing, No Wowing 7.7 109

3.24  That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite 7.7 91

5.12  A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 7.7 75

4.15  My Damn Stalker 7.7 102

2.12  A Lung Full of Alan 7.7 94

3.9  Madame and Her Special Friend 7.7 88

1.24  Can You Feel My Finger 7.7 93

5.15  Rough Night in Hump Junction 7.7 80

5.19  Waiting for the Right Snapper 7.7 70

6.18  My Son's Enormous Head 7.6 59

6.23  Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth 7.6 58

1.18  An Old Flame with a New Wick 7.6 136

6.6  It's Always Nazi Week 7.6 71

1.2  Big Flappy Bastards 7.6 129

6.7  Best H.O. Money Can Buy 7.6 63

7.2  Whipped Unto the Third Generation 7.6 58

6.11  The Devil's Lube 7.6 71

5.11  Meander to Your Dander 7.6 78

2.8  Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers 7.6 78

6.12  Thank God for Scoliosis 7.6 78

5.9  Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids 7.6 75

1.19  I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You 7.6 117

2.16  Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? 7.6 78

4.7  Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 7.6 84

5.14  Winky-Dink Time 7.6 88

5.6  Help Daddy Find His Toenail 7.6 79

Jake Comes of Age 7.6 59

7.11  Warning, It's Dirty 7.5 42

2.1  Back Off Mary Poppins 7.5 172

1.5  The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump 7.5 117

5.1  Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 7.5 84

3.3  Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 7.5 76

5.5  Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 7.5 70

6.10  He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 7.5 56

2.6  The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance 7.5 80

6.17  The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? 7.5 42

4.17  I Merely Slept with a Commie 7.5 84

2.9  Yes, Monsignor 7.5 92

3.5  We Called It Mr. Pinky 7.5 71

4.20  Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot 7.5 98

1.17  Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 7.5 90

2.11  Last Chance to See Those Tattoos 7.5 99

6.22  Sir Lancelot's Litter Box 7.5 54

3.20  Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 7.5 104

3.2  Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover 7.5 78

1.16  That Was Saliva, Alan 7.5 102

3.4  Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs 7.5 76

1.9  Phase One, Complete 7.5 105

7.3  Mmm, Fish. Yum. 7.4 60

7.7  Untainted by Filth 7.4 56

3.15  My Tongue Is Meat 7.4 75

5.3  Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 7.4 72

4.2  Who's Vod Kanockers 7.4 98

1.8  Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful 7.4 100

2.15  Smell the Umbrella Stand 7.4 71

2.5  Bad News from the Clinic 7.4 93

6.8  Pinocchio's Mouth 7.4 56

7.4  Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 7.4 56

1.22  My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 7.4 94

2.14  Those Big Pink Things with Coconut 7.4 71

2.21  A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On 7.4 81

4.21  Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 7.4 83

3.17  The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer 7.4 72

1.13  Sarah Like Puny Alan 7.4 96

4.16  Young People Have Phlegm Too 7.4 92

5.7  The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room 7.4 71

4.18  It Never Rains in Hooterville 7.4 91

2.19  A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise 7.4 78

4.10  Kissing Abraham Lincoln 7.4 85

1.15  Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 7.4 111

4.8  Release the Dogs 7.4 81

3.18  The Spit-Covered Cobbler 7.4 73

2.4  Go Get Mommy's Bra 7.4 84

4.13  Don't Worry, Speed Racer 7.4 86

1.14  I Can't Afford Hyenas 7.3 100

3.13  Humiliation Is a Visual Medium 7.3 77

6.4  The Flavin' and the Mavin' 7.3 83

1.3  Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 7.3 122

2.18  It Was Mame, Mom 7.3 98

2.22  That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother 7.3 75

3.1  Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts 7.3 73

6.13  I Think You Offended Don 7.3 54

4.22  Mr. McGlue's Feedbag 7.3 78

7.6  Give Me Your Thumb 7.3 51

3.10  Something Salted and Twisted 7.3 68

3.19  Golly Moses, She's a Muffin 7.3 84

2.2  Enjoy Those Garlic Balls 7.3 93

4.14  That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 7.3 83

7.9  Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair 7.3 49

3.21  And the Plot Moistens 7.3 83

5.2  Media Room Slash Dungeon 7.3 79

2.20  I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey 7.3 81

3.22  Just Once with Aunt Sophie 7.2 71

4.1  Working for Caligula 7.2 95

4.3  The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress 7.2 90

1.6  Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 7.2 108

4.5  A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 7.2 96

4.9  Corey's Been Dead for an Hour 7.2 88

6.5  A Jock Strap in Hell 7.2 76

5.18  If My Hole Could Talk 7.1 98

3.23  Arguments for the Quickie 7.1 81

4.4  A Pot Smoking Monkey 7.1 85

2.7  A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana 7.1 84

4.12  Castrating Sheep in Montana 7.0 78

7.10  That's Why They Call It Ball Room 7.0 36

1.11  Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor 7.0 102

1.20  Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark 7.0 94

7.5  For the Sake of the Child 6.9 56