Episode list for
"Two and a Half Men" (2003)

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Season: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | unknown
Year: 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | unknown

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Season 1

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Season 1, Episode 0: Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot

Original Air Date: ????

Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot

Original Air Date: 22 September 2003
After 12 years of marriage, his wife Judith, kicks Alan out. He turns to his older brother Charlie for help. Charlie has trouble adjusting his carefree lifestyle with the presence of his 10 year old nephew.

Season 1, Episode 2: Big Flappy Bastards

Original Air Date: 29 September 2003
Alan punishes Jake for an incident at Judith's house. Charlie is lax in enforcing Alan's restrictions, then some seagulls invade Charlie's house as a result of Jake's actions, Charlie has to learn how to discipline his nephew.

Season 1, Episode 3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

Original Air Date: 6 October 2003
Charlie and Alan go out drinking. Alan tries to reconcile with his wife, after that fails. They decide to confront the root of their issues, their mother.

Season 1, Episode 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

Original Air Date: 13 October 2003
As Charlie tries to write a new jingle, Berta quits. Alan tries to convince her to come back. Leaving Charlie to get Jake ready for a dinner. And Rose tries to get Charlie's help to prepare for a date.

Season 1, Episode 5: The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up with a Hump

Original Air Date: 20 October 2003
Jake's soccer games lead to Alan and Charlie having encounters with teammates' sexy mothers.

Season 1, Episode 6: Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Original Air Date: 27 October 2003
Charlie and Evelyn date members of the same family.

Season 1, Episode 7: If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake

Original Air Date: 3 November 2003

Season 1, Episode 8: Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful

Original Air Date: 10 November 2003

Season 1, Episode 9: Phase One, Complete

Original Air Date: 17 November 2003
Charlie wants to dump a female friend to whom Jake has grown attached. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.

Season 1, Episode 10: Merry Thanksgiving

Original Air Date: 24 November 2003

Season 1, Episode 11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

Original Air Date: 15 December 2003
Seeing Judith's new look and boyfriend prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he will need to change his look also.

Season 1, Episode 12: Camel Filters and Pheremones

Original Air Date: 5 January 2004
Berta brings her 16 year old granddaughter to work. She poses issues for the men.

Season 1, Episode 13: Sara Like Puny Alan

Original Air Date: 12 January 2004
Charlie tries to nurse Alan back from the flu because he needs him for a double date with sisters.

Season 1, Episode 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas

Original Air Date: 2 February 2004
Charlie's accountant Stan tries to make Charlie understand his desperate financial situation.

Season 1, Episode 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

Original Air Date: 9 February 2004
Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie--against Alan's advice.

Next US airings:

Sun. May 25

11:00 PM

CW

Season 1, Episode 16: That Was Saliva, Alan

Original Air Date: 16 February 2004

Next US airings:

Sun. May 25

11:30 PM

CW

Season 1, Episode 17: Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Original Air Date: 23 February 2004
Charlie is offended when Alan chooses his married, responsible cousins as Jake's guardians.

Next US airings:

Sun. May 18

11:00 PM

CW

Season 1, Episode 18: An Old Flame with a New Wick

Original Air Date: 1 March 2004
Charlie's old flame, Jill, comes for a visit, she had an operation and is now called "Bill." Then Evelyn starts dating Bill.

Next US airings:

Sun. May 18

11:30 PM

CW

Season 1, Episode 19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

Original Air Date: 22 March 2004
Judith's sister Liz comes for a visit.

Season 1, Episode 20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

Original Air Date: 19 April 2004
Jake starts annoying everyone with his incessant playing of "Smoke on the Water" on the electric guitar. Judith thinks Jake is having a difficult time coping with his parents' divorce. She suggests that they send Jake to a therapist, which Alan is reluctant to do.

Season 1, Episode 21: No Sniffing, No Wowing

Original Air Date: 3 May 2004

Season 1, Episode 22: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

Original Air Date: 10 May 2004

Season 1, Episode 23: Just Like Buffalo

Original Air Date: 17 May 2004
Jake repeats something Charlie says to Judith. Then Judith refuses to let Alan take Jake for the weekend. Alan tries to talk to Judith, but encounters resistance from Judith and her friends. It's up to Charlie to set things right.

Season 1, Episode 24: Can You Feel My Finger

Original Air Date: 24 May 2004
Charlie is sure he isn't ready for fatherhood after a year of trying to raise Jake, so he opts to have a vasectomy. But when the doctor performing the procedure keeps getting calls from his wife -- who's about to give birth -- Charlie starts to think about what fatherhood might entail and likes the idea, provided he still has his vital organs intact (in more ways than one).

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Season 2

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Season 2, Episode 1: Back Off Mary Poppins

Original Air Date: 20 September 2004
Charlie is having some friends coming over to his house to have a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things got worse when Alan is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.

Season 2, Episode 2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

Original Air Date: 27 September 2004
Alan is hurt after finding out Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.

Season 2, Episode 3: A Bag Full of Jawea

Original Air Date: 4 October 2004
After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.

Season 2, Episode 4: Go Get Mommy's Bra

Original Air Date: 11 October 2004
After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.

Season 2, Episode 5: Bad News from the Clinic

Original Air Date: 18 October 2004

Next US airings:

Sat. May 17

7:00 PM

CW

Season 2, Episode 6: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

Original Air Date: 25 October 2004
After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now infuriated brother.

Next US airings:

Sat. May 24

7:00 PM

CW

Season 2, Episode 7: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

Original Air Date: 8 November 2004
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.

Season 2, Episode 8: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

Original Air Date: 15 November 2004
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.

Season 2, Episode 9: Yes, Monsignor

Original Air Date: 22 November 2004
Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.

Next US airings:

Sat. May 24

7:30 PM

CW

Season 2, Episode 10: The Salmon Under My Sweater

Original Air Date: 29 November 2004
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.

Season 2, Episode 11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

Original Air Date: 13 December 2004
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.

Season 2, Episode 12: A Lung Full of Alan

Original Air Date: 3 January 2005
An old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.

Next US airings:

Sat. May 17

7:30 PM

CW

Season 2, Episode 13: Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow

Original Air Date: 17 January 2005
Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.

Season 2, Episode 14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

Original Air Date: 31 January 2005
Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.

Season 2, Episode 15: Smell the Umbrella Stand

Original Air Date: 7 February 2005
Charlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.

Season 2, Episode 16: Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

Original Air Date: 14 February 2005
It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.

Season 2, Episode 17: Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!

Original Air Date: 21 February 2005
Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter went horribly wrong.

Season 2, Episode 18: It Was Mame, Mom

Original Air Date: 7 March 2005
Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?

Season 2, Episode 19: A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

Original Air Date: 21 March 2005
A freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exs.

Season 2, Episode 20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

Original Air Date: 18 April 2005
Rose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.

Season 2, Episode 21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

Original Air Date: 2 May 2005
After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.

Season 2, Episode 22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

Original Air Date: 9 May 2005
Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.

Season 2, Episode 23: Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Original Air Date: 16 May 2005
Learning Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents's house, Charlie and Alan's mother Evelyn decrees she wants to see him more, but a week is too much trouble, he'll stay overnight. The Harper brothers give the kid a great day and toys, but he would rather give it all back then face his fashion-prone, child-hating grandma, so the price goes up- Charlie is proud of the lout, still shares in Alan's crushing sense of guilt while reminiscing what a loveless mother from hell the selfish cow always was, until the bar is swamped by beach volleyball-girls in bikinis and Charlie instantly forgets about every male on the globe. Meanwhile Evelyn learns the hard way that babysitting and feeding willful modern spoiled brat Jake is far harder then raising boys a generation earlier, and hell on an expensive interior like hers...

Season 2, Episode 24: Does Something Smell Funny to You

Original Air Date: 23 May 2005
Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.

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Season 3

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Season 3, Episode 1: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

Original Air Date: 19 September 2005
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.

Season 3, Episode 2: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

Original Air Date: 26 September 2005
Alan has to lobby the principal to keep Jake from getting expelled, while Charlie is left to manage the chiropractic office for the day.

Season 3, Episode 3: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

Original Air Date: 3 October 2005
After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.

Season 3, Episode 4: Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

Original Air Date: 10 October 2005
Alan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.

Season 3, Episode 5: We Called It Mr. Pinky

Original Air Date: 17 October 2005
Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.

Next US airings:

Fri. May 16

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 6: Hi, Mr. Horned One

Original Air Date: 24 October 2005
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.

Next US airings:

Fri. May 23

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 7: Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Original Air Date: 7 November 2005
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.

Next US airings:

Mon. May 19

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 8: That Voodoo That I Do Do

Original Air Date: 14 November 2005
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.

Next US airings:

Tue. May 20

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 9: Madame and Her Special Friend

Original Air Date: 21 November 2005
Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.

Next US airings:

Wed. May 21

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 10: Something Salted and Twisted

Original Air Date: 28 November 2005

Next US airings:

Thur. May 22

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 11: Santa's Village of the Damned

Original Air Date: 19 December 2005
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for by her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed her craziness.

Next US airings:

Mon. May 26

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 12: That Special Tug

Original Air Date: 9 January 2006
After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.

Next US airings:

Tue. May 27

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 13: Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

Original Air Date: 23 January 2006
Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.

Next US airings:

Wed. May 28

11:30 PM

CW

Season 3, Episode 14: Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

Original Air Date: 6 February 2006
As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Allen starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

Season 3, Episode 15: My Tongue Is Meat

Original Air Date: 27 February 2006
Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.

Season 3, Episode 16: Ergo, the Booty Call

Original Air Date: 6 March 2006
As Jake's twelfth birthday approaches, Alan is still smiling ear-to-ear over his sex life with 22 year-old hottie Kandi, even when he's forced to explain to his son what a "booty call" is. Meanwhile, Jake celebrates with a sip of coffee and a handful of vitamins - or at least, that's what he assumes the blue pills in his dad's bathroom cabinet are, with the "V" imprinted. Like Berta says, he's going to need another party hat.

Season 3, Episode 17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

Original Air Date: 13 March 2006
At Alan's insistence and to avoid having to escort the daughter of one of ma's clients (she invited that), Charlie attends with Alan, ma and Jake the jingle awards ceremony, where he's nominated and just knows Archie Baldwin will win for the seventh year in a row, because that pompous ass always gets the sexy products, a good tune for medication like Charlie's clients is never good enough to get a fair chance. He's right, and was forced by Rose -who will otherwise stalk him again- to make her adoring teenage boyfriend Gordon give her some private space again; when that works, she changes her mind...

Season 3, Episode 18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler

Original Air Date: 20 March 2006
Alan finally has an attractive date, 22 year-old Kandi, but she's even dumber then Jake, and as Charlie rightly points out girls that age are extremely high maintenance. Charlie has his fun seeing Alan struggle with the growing pile of bills, driving him to raid Jake's mammoth piggy bank and taking a second job as pizza deliverer, but still helps his double-plucked brother when wicked ex Judith insists on alimony. Alas Kandi...

Season 3, Episode 19: Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

Original Air Date: 10 April 2006
The Harpers's world is inverted: Charlie's ex Kandi, of his countless girls about the dumbest, not only became Alan's lover but even says she prefers sex with him, and has been living in Charlie's beach-house, as unnoticed as several furniture changes, for three weeks since she was evicted. Charlie has suffered a sexual drought even longer, by now even Berta and her cousin in prison begin to look somehow attractive. Judith finds out, and is shocked Jake is exposed to such a floozy; despite his brother's warning to keep love and business apart, Alan tries her as secretary in his surgery, with even more and worse results then either could fear...

Season 3, Episode 20: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

Original Air Date: 24 April 2006
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's ma Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub...

Season 3, Episode 21: And the Plot Moistens

Original Air Date: 1 May 2006
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.

Season 3, Episode 22: Just Once with Aunt Sophie

Original Air Date: 8 May 2006
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...

Season 3, Episode 23: Arguments for the Quickie

Original Air Date: 15 May 2006
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.

Season 3, Episode 24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Original Air Date: 22 May 2006
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.

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Season 4

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Season 4, Episode 1: Working for Caligula

Original Air Date: 18 September 2006
Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.

Season 4, Episode 2: Who's Vod Kanockers

Original Air Date: 25 September 2006
Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.

Season 4, Episode 3: The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

Original Air Date: 2 October 2006
In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.

Season 4, Episode 4: A Pot Smoking Monkey

Original Air Date: 9 October 2006
Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.

Season 4, Episode 5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

Original Air Date: 16 October 2006
When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.

Season 4, Episode 6: Apologies for the Frivolity

Original Air Date: 23 October 2006
Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.

Season 4, Episode 7: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Original Air Date: 30 October 2006
Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter and Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.

Season 4, Episode 8: Release the Dogs

Original Air Date: 13 November 2006
After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.

Season 4, Episode 9: Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

Original Air Date: 20 November 2006
Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.

Next US airings:

Mon. May 26

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 10: Kissing Abraham Lincoln

Original Air Date: 27 November 2006
Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status, and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.

Next US airings:

Tue. May 27

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 11: Walnuts and Demerol

Original Air Date: 11 December 2006
Charlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.

Season 4, Episode 12: Castrating Sheep in Montana

Original Air Date: 8 January 2007
Alan is seeing Berta's daughter behind everyone's back. But when Berta finds out, Alan is shocked and a little disturbed by her positive response.

Next US airings:

Wed. May 28

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 13: Don't Worry, Speed Racer

Original Air Date: 22 January 2007
Repressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.

Next US airings:

Thur. May 29

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 14: That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

Original Air Date: 5 February 2007
Charlie tries to set up Alan with the sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her himself.

Season 4, Episode 15: My Damn Stalker

Original Air Date: 12 February 2007
Alan takes a stab at online dating, and Rose tells Charlie that she's moving away.

Season 4, Episode 16: Young People Have Phlegm Too

Original Air Date: 19 February 2007
Charlie tries to convince himself and Alan that he's not too old to be part of the wild, young party crowd.

Season 4, Episode 17: I Merely Slept with a Commie

Original Air Date: 26 February 2007
After Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody loves her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family, which makes both of them very jealous.

Next US airings:

Mon. May 19

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 18: It Never Rains in Hooterville

Original Air Date: 19 March 2007
Alan feels the pangs of fatherhood disappearing as Jake grows, and contemplates his future with Kandi, who is contemplating on a new career move.

Next US airings:

Tue. May 20

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 19: Smooth as a Ken Doll

Original Air Date: 9 April 2007
Alan thinks he's making his last alimony payment to Judith, but Judith's future sister-in-law could be putting the wedding in jeopardy. And things only get worse when she hooks up with Charlie.

Next US airings:

Wed. May 21

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

Original Air Date: 16 April 2007
Alan sees nothing but troubles in his future as Charlie's relationship with Judith's future sister-in-law blossoms.

Next US airings:

Thur. May 22

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 21: Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

Original Air Date: 23 April 2007
Everyone suspects that Alan may be coming out of the closet when he becomes good friends with a gay man. But Charlie is actually the one who is suddenly feeling insecure about his sexuality.

Next US airings:

Fri. May 23

7:00 PM

CW

Season 4, Episode 22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

Original Air Date: 30 April 2007
When Alan has to go renew his driver's license, he convinces Charlie to help Jake with book report. But when Charlie takes Jake to the track, instead, Jake's horse comes in.

Season 4, Episode 23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin

Original Air Date: 7 May 2007
Charlie hires a handyman to fix his deck, then begins to feel threatened when all the women in his life flock to the new guy.

Season 4, Episode 24: Prostitutes and Gelato

Original Air Date: 14 May 2007
In an effort to bond with Alan and Charlie, Evelyn's new boyfriend invites them on a trip to Vegas with all the frills.

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Season 5

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Season 5, Episode 1: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Original Air Date: 24 September 2007
Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.

Season 5, Episode 2: Media Room Slash Dungeon

Original Air Date: 1 October 2007
Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients, and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.

Season 5, Episode 3: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

Original Air Date: 8 October 2007
Charlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.

Next US airings:

Mon. May 26

9:00 PM

CBS

Season 5, Episode 4: City of Great Racks

Original Air Date: 15 October 2007
Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?

Season 5, Episode 5: Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

Original Air Date: 22 October 2007
Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.

Season 5, Episode 6: Help Daddy Find His Toenail

Original Air Date: 29 October 2007
A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.

Season 5, Episode 7: The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

Original Air Date: 5 November 2007
After Alan gets in a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl, Alan and Jake move in with Alan's mom.

Season 5, Episode 8: Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

Original Air Date: 12 November 2007
Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences.

Season 5, Episode 9: Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids

Original Air Date: 19 November 2007
Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.

Season 5, Episode 10: Kinda Like Necrophilia

Original Air Date: 26 November 2007
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.

Season 5, Episode 11: Meander to Your Dander

Original Air Date: 17 March 2008
Alan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.

Season 5, Episode 12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

Original Air Date: 24 March 2008
Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?

Season 5, Episode 13: The Soil is Moist

Original Air Date: 31 March 2008
Alan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with they were married, who then tells him that Judith says that her new husband is a better lover than him.

Season 5, Episode 14: Winky-Dink Time

Original Air Date: 14 April 2008
Charlie sets up Alan with a prostitute, and accompanies Jake on a double date.

Season 5, Episode 15: Rough Night in Hump Junction

Original Air Date: 21 April 2008
Charlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding.

Season 5, Episode 16: Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

Original Air Date: 28 April 2008
Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.

Season 5, Episode 17: Fish in a Drawer

Original Air Date: 5 May 2008
Parody of "CSI" in which Teddy is found dead in Charlie's bed half-naked and with another woman's lipstick on him during his wedding reception, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.

Season 5, Episode 18: If My Hole Could Talk

Original Air Date: 12 May 2008
Charlie dates a self-help author who is much older than him, has a 32-year-old son, and treats him more like his son than his boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend, but keeps losing the book before he can read it.

Season 5, Episode 19: Waiting for the Right Snapper

Original Air Date: 19 May 2008

Next US airings:

Mon. May 19

9:00 PM

CBS

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Unknown Season

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Jake Comes of Age

Original Air Date: 2006

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