Saved! (2004)
Eva Amurri: Cassandra
Photos
Quotes
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Hilary Faye : You know, secondhand smoke kills.
Cassandra : I'm counting on it.
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Cassandra : [Patrick is wearing a loincloth, acting as Jesus dying in a play] Now that's what I call being hung on a cross.
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Hilary Faye : [the day after "saving" Cassandra] Hey Cass! How do you feel?
Cassandra : Oh, I'm a whole new girl Hay-Faye.
Hilary Faye : I TOLD YOU! How great is Jesus?
Cassandra : Yeah, um, about that... I've decided to devote my life to Satan instead. Thanks though!
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Cassandra : Doesn't it bother you to have people smoking around you? It's so bad for the baby.
Mary : I'm not pregnant.
Cassandra : So what are you gonna do? It's too late for the big "A". You look like a smuggler. I know a place where you could sell it!
Mary : I'm not going to sell my...
[vulnerable pause]
Cassandra : It's Dean's, isn't it?
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Cassandra : [after complaining about Hilary Faye's ridiculous attempt to save her] It's ok. Last year I got saved so I could go on the ski trip.
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Trudy Mason : Patrick has recently returned from South Africa where he worked as a missionary and just completed a world tour as part of the Christian Skateboarders Association.
Cassandra : Been hittin' the board for the Lord? God, is nothing sacred to you people?
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Cassandra : Did I ever tell you about the time I shoplifted a frozen turkey out of a Piggly Wiggly wearing only a tube top and daisy dukes?
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Hilary Faye : Well, if it isn't the Heathens.
Cassandra : Burn in hell, you narrow-minded, tacky-ass bitch!
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[doing stretches in Gym class]
Cassandra : Hey, Hilary Faye, I can see your pad.
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[storming out to her car after being expelled from school]
Cassandra : He kicked me out! And it was the one time I didn't do anything!
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Cassandra : I always get this really left out feeling at Christmas time
Hilary Faye : [to Patrick] Jewish.
[Back to Cassandra]
Hilary Faye : Well, if you decided to accept Jesus into your heart you and your people could join in on the fun!
Cassandra : You know what you're right! I want to join in on the fun. I don't want a Hannukah bush this year, I want a Christmas tree.
Hilary Faye : You're playing me again?
Cassandra : No, I want to start a personal relationship with Jesus. I want to be saved!
Hilary Faye : Oh wow!
[Gestures to Patrick]
Hilary Faye : Patrick! Oh, I don't have all my equipment! Ok, first, you have to confess all of your sins out loud.
Cassandra : Well, there's all the swearing, I mean, I have a Goddammed dirty mouth. And the sex I mean, are we talking oral
Hilary Faye : [claps hand over Cassandra's mouth]
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Cassandra : You can tacky up prom on your own, cause I quit.
Hilary Faye : Quit? You can't quit!
Cassandra : Watch me. Watch me walkin' away. Watch me walkin' away from Jesus!
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Cassandra : So, Patrick asked you out and you turned him down? The boy is a tomcat, even if he is a big JC freak. And - double plus bonus - I'm pretty sure he's not a 'mo.
Mary : He's Pastor Skip's son, and I'm about to pop a baby out.
Cassandra : I should tell Patrick to act gay around you, maybe then he'll get a little action.
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Cassandra : I should kick your fat Christian ass right now.
Hilary Faye : You know what? Whatever!
[walks away]
Hilary Faye : And I'm not even fat!
Cassandra : Your head is fat! Oh! And your ass is fat!
Hilary Faye : WHATEVER!
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Cassandra : [Drunk] Hey Roland. Wanna get outta here and you can take me for a spin on that thing... RELEASE HIS PARKING BRAKE HILARY FAYE!
Hilary Faye : Oh, God, you smell like Tia's dad, have you been drinking?
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Cassandra : She made me listen to the whole Elms CD on her iPod!
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Cassandra : Piss off, asshole! Oh, and another thing? No more muffins for you! The muffin shop is closed!
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Cassandra : Roland and I both saw you sneaking out of the clinic. Kudos on the Bono shades by the way!
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Cassandra : [drunk] I'm having a vision of the Virgin Mary!
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Hilary Faye : You better be wearing underwear this time.
Cassandra : [looks over shoulder and down ladder at Hilary Faye] Heh.
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Hilary Faye : Want to get something to eat with us?
Patrick : We're going to DQ.
Cassandra : Why? So we can watch Hilary Faye try to get into your Easter basket? No thanks.