Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktakular (2003 TV Movie)

Scott McNeil: Skully Pettibone, Count Max

Quotes 

• Skully Pettibone : [after explaining his job to Hannah Marie]  But when it comes to Halloween night I love nothing more than to roll the bones at a good party. You are staying for the party aren't you?

  Hannah Marie : [unsure]  Yes...

  Skully Pettibone : [confused]  Oh... well... good.

  Hannah Marie : I don't know, Scary Godmother said that there'll be monsters at the party. And I'm scared of monsters.

  Skully Pettibone : [laughs]  Oh my, you just haven't met enough good ones yet. You see Hannah, monsters are a lot like spiders: some are real nice, and some are not so nice. But all of them are creepy and crawly!

  [Hannah Marie shudders and faints. Scary Godmother pulls Skully aside] 

  Scary Godmother : [whispers, annoyed]  Was that supposed to help?

  Skully Pettibone : Yes. Do you think it worked?

  Scary Godmother : [dryly]  Yes.

• [Scary Godmother's doorbell rings] 

  Scary Godmother : I'll get it! How do I look?

  Skully Pettibone : Mm, frightful!

  Scary Godmother : You're too kind.

  [opens the door to reveal Harry the Werewolf] 

  Hannah Marie : Ahh! A Monster!

  [hides behind a chair] 

  Scary Godmother : [aside to Skully]  Only to his mother.

  [to Hannah Marie] 

  Scary Godmother : It's just Harry. Hi Harry, come on in.

  Harry the Werewolf : [enters the room]  Thank you Scary Godmother, I don't mind if I do.

• Harry the Werewolf : [enters the party]  Mm, where are those wonderful smells emanating from? The goody-plate I believe. You won't mind if I just sample the delicacies do you?

  Skully Pettibone : [hits Harry on the head with a rolled-up newspaper]  No! Down boy! Last year you devastated the entire buffet before the other guests even arrived!

  Harry the Werewolf : [offended]  How dare you sir! I come to the party to enjoy the company of good...

  Skully Pettibone : [holds a cookie in front of Harry, mesmerizing him]  Now, sit.

  [Harry reluctantly does] 

  Skully Pettibone : [holds out a hand]  Good boy. Shake.

  [Harry shakes Skully's hand] 

  Skully Pettibone : Now, roll over.

  Harry the Werewolf : [rolls his eyes]  Oh please.

  Skully Pettibone : Roll over.

  Harry the Werewolf : I will not degrade myself.

  Skully Pettibone : [spins the cookie around Harry's head]  Over.

  [Harry falls to the ground and tries to roll over but fails due to his girth] 

  Skully Pettibone : Good boy, here.

  [tosses Harry the cookie] 

  Skully Pettibone : Now, no more until everyone else arrives and you'll be lucky to get that.

  Harry the Werewolf : [gets up, mad]  Oo and you'll be lucky if I don't bury your femur in the backyard you scoundrel!

• [Hannah Marie and Orson accidentally crash into Skully and Harry in the kitchen, causing Skully to toss his goody plate and Harry to start losing his balance backwards. Harry takes advantage of this by preparing to catch the goodies with his mouth, but instead he bangs into the cupboards and a bottle lands in his mouth] 

  Harry the Werewolf : [after drinking the bottle's contents]  Hey, I can talk again!

  [Skully's skull lands on Harry's chest] 

  Skully Pettibone : [sarcastically]  Be still my beating rib cage.

• [Count Max has hypnotized Harry into falling asleep. Harry instantly starts snoring] 

  Count Max : That is better, some peace and quiet. I think.

  Skully Pettibone : Oh, I like the way you think Count Max. Can I get you a drink?

  Count Max : Thank you. Bloody Mary, hold the Mary.

  [laughs hollowly] 

• [Harry has eaten all the party food] 

  Scary Godmother : [whistles]  Broommate huddle!

  [Bug-a-Boo and Skully join her] 

  Scary Godmother : Now what? The party's just starting and we're out of food.

  Skully Pettibone : [threateningly]  Well I could whip up some werewolf kabobs.

  [They and Bug-a-Boo glance over to Harry, who's licking a platter] 

  Scary Godmother : [punches Skully's arm]  Seriously!

• [Scary Godmother has found out that the pizzas cost two-hundred dollars, which she can't afford] 

  Scary Godmother : [whispers]  Skully, you got any money?

  Skully Pettibone : [sarcastically]  No, I left it in my other pelvis.

  Scary Godmother : [sarcastically]  Oh ha-ha very funny.

• Skully Pettibone : [singing to Jimmy and his friends]  You'll be ground/You'll be ate/Gonna serve you four kids on a plate!

  [Jimmy and his friends applaud. Skully then offers his arm and Katie takes it... only for Skully to fall apart. Jimmy and his friends scream in terror] 

• Count Max : [complaining about the changing fashions]  One century it is corsets and bustles and the next thing you know...

  Skully Pettibone : It's platforms and mini-skirts?

  Count Max : [snaps fingers]  Exactly!

  Harry the Werewolf : [wakes up]  Oh. So, as I was saying- Oo, snacks.

  Count Max : [facepalms]  Doh!

  Harry the Werewolf : [tries to eat a treat, but is stopped by a glaring Skully]  What? Dancing always makes me peckish.

• [With the party food all gone, Scary Godmother and her broommates have decided to order pizza] 

  Count Max : Pizza, huh! Back in my day we'd never thought of putting cheese and sauce and-

  [Ruby elbows him] 

  Count Max : Pizza is a... groovy idea.

  [gives two thumbs up] 

  Hannah Marie : [giggles to Orson]  'Groovy'?

  [mimics the two thumbs up] 

  Orson : [groans]  I know, they're so embarrassing I could just live.

• Scary Godmother : [uses her magic to grab Harry, who tried to make off with all the pizza]  You! You have wrecked my snack table, insulted my broommates, made a mess of my house, and stuck me for twelve pizzas. Harry, sometimes you are insensitive, boorish, and you just have plain lousy table manners.

  Harry the Werewolf : [pleadingly as everyone else starts taking the pizza boxes]  Oh please, I'll do anything!

  Scary Godmother : I know you will Harry. You'll help me in the pumpkin patch, you'll knit spiderwebs, clean the tombs... Oh yes, you'll probably have tonight paid off by Halloween next year. Enjoy your pizza.

  [lets him go with only one box of pizza left] 

  Harry the Werewolf : [looks away from the pizza]  It's turned to ashes in my mouth.

  Skully Pettibone : Oh, that's mine then. I had half-ashes half-green pepper.

  [takes the pizza away]