- John McLaughlin: Young man, a beer please.
- Woody: Hey, you're on Sunday morning TV, aren't you.
- John McLaughlin: Indeed.
- Woody: Are you, uh, David Brinkley?
- John McLaughlin: No.
- Woody: Sam Donaldson?
- John McLaughlin: Give me a break.
- Woody: Oh, aren't you guy who keeps the gorgeous ladies of wrestling from tearing each other's hair out.
- John McLaughlin: You could say that.
- Woody: [as John McLaughlin takes out his money to pay, Woody says in awe] Oh, man, your money's no good here.
- John McLaughlin: Actually, I'm John McLaughlin. I'm the moderator of a political round table called 'The McLaughlin Group'.
- Woody: Oh. That'll be two-fifty.
- John McLaughlin: Tell us about Carla.
- Rhea Perlman: She's a survivor, she's a realist, she's very fertile.
- [everyone laughs]
- John McLaughlin: Do you think Carla's mean?
- Rhea Perlman: No, I don't think she's mean. I think she's honest.
- John McLaughlin: Is there a part of you in Cliff Clavin?
- John Ratzenberger: Yeah, I'm fascinated by fascinating facts.
- John McLaughlin: Is there a little part of Cliff Clavin in you?
- John Ratzenberger: Well, I wear white socks.
- John McLaughlin: Do you think you're anything like Frasier Crane?
- Kelsey Grammer: Yes, I'd like to heal the world.
- John McLaughlin: Have you notified the world?