Undercover Brother (2002)
Gary Anthony Williams: Smart Brother
Quotes
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Undercover Brother : Are you telling me there really is a Man'?
Conspiracy Brother : What do you think? Things don't just happen by accident! Sometimes people - mostly *white* people - make things happen!
Undercover Brother : So the conspiracies we've believed for all these years are true? The NBA really did institute the three point shot to give white boys a chance?
Smart Brother : Absolutely!
Undercover Brother : Then the entertainment industry really *is* out to get Spike Lee?
Conspiracy Brother : Come on man! Even Cher's won an Oscar! Cher!
Undercover Brother : Then O.J. really didn't do it?
[Everyone looks away and mumbles]
The Chief : We... we ain't got time for this!
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Undercover Brother : You know what they say, behind every great black man...
Conspiracy Brother : is the police.
Undercover Brother : No.
Smart Brother : A bunch of slow white athletes?
Undercover Brother : No!
White She-Devil : A cute butt.
Undercover Brother : NO!
Lance : Probable cause.
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Undercover Brother : [Smart Brother tried to turn Undercover Brother into a white man expert by showing his various and random clips from white movies and t.v. shows. Undercover Brother begins screaming so they stop the clips] CAUCASIAN OVERLOAD! CAUCASIAN OVERLOAD! CAUCASIAN OVERLOAD! CAUCASIAN OVERLOAD!
Smart Brother : Are you alright?
Undercover Brother : [pauses with a horrified look on his face] ... I... see... WHITE... people
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[after witnessing the General's speech]
The Chief : Smart Brother, you're so damn smart. Can you tell us what the Hell just happened?
Smart Brother : Well, uh, I, uh, um...
The Chief : [mocking him] Well, um, I, uh... Shut up! If I wanted to hear something stupid, I'd ask his skinny Black Ass!
Conspiracy Brother : Ha, ha! In your face! Ha! Skinny black... HEY!
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[to Undercover Brother]
Smart Brother : If you're going to fit in to white America, you're gonna have to learn to like MAYONNAISE!