Bulletproof Monk (2003)

Seann William Scott: Kar

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kar : The reason hot dogs come in packages of ten but hot dog buns come in packages of just eight is so you'll always need more buns for your hot dogs. Because no matter how much you get, how much you achieve, how many times you win... You can never, ever let yourself feel like it's enough.

  [Later on] 

  Kar : So, I figured it out. Why hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight. See, the thing is, life doesn't always work out according to plan. So be happy with what you've got, because you can always get a hot dog.

• Kar : [after Monk defies gravity by hovering in the air before floating back down]  How did you do that?

  Monk With No Name : The Air! You can't see it but it's there... it fills your lungs! Air is as real as you and me... it's as real and the same as blood or flesh or bone or earth or water. Once you understand and realize this... you treat the air the same way as you treat other things. You step on it as you would a stone, you swim through it as you would the sea. And all you have to do is truly believe.

  Kar : Believe what, that the laws of gravity don't exist?

  Monk With No Name : [smugly]  If You Truly Believe That *They* Don't...

  [shakes head] 

  Monk With No Name : ... Then They *Don't*

• Kar : You can at least tell me why those guys were chasing you

  Monk With No Name : All right.

  [throws off coat] 

  Monk With No Name : Let me put it in a language you will understand.

  Kar : [softly]  Okay.

  Monk With No Name : Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten while hot dog buns come in packages of just eight?

  Kar : What? What the hell is that? You can't answer my question with another question, especially not one as stupid as that!

  Monk With No Name : When you attain the state of enlightenment that allows you to answer my question, I will answer yours.

• [Monk puts some ointment on Kar's hand] 

  Kar : Hey, I like this. It's cool. It's comfy. It's fast acting. This stuff is great. What is it?

  Monk With No Name : Homemade. From my own urine.

  [Kar sniffs his hand] 

  Kar : That's disgusting!

• Cabbie : [playing ethnic music with no words]  Do you guys like this music?

  Kar , Monk With No Name : ...Yea!

  Cabbie : It's the bomb diggity.

  [phone rings] 

  Cabbie : Excuse me I have to talk to my baby-mamma-to-be.