- Oobedoob Benubi: I am Oobedoob Benubi. I have the silliest name in the galaxy.
- Loke Groundrunner: What's your middle-name?
- Oobedoob Benubi: Scooby-Dooby.
- Loke Groundrunner: Oobedoob Scooby-Dooby Benubi?
- Oobedoob Benubi: One and the same. And you must be
- [crosses eyes]
- Oobedoob Benubi: the CRY BABY!
- Loke Groundrunner: I will go with you and fight!
- Oobedoob Benubi: Oh, big sacrifice; everyone you knew is dead! Glad you could tear yourself away!
- Princess Bunhead: You'll never get away with this, Black Helmet Man! You are bad! You are bad and we are good! Your badness will be the end of you, and our goodness will be our triumph! Bad is bad - good is good! Bad-bad-good-bad! Good-good-bad-good, bad! Good.
- Black Helmet Man: I will allow no rest until the Thumbellion is totally neutralized.
- Unwise Council Member: Excuse me, Black Helmut Man, but our super space station can easily thwart any actions of the Thumbellion.
- Black Helmet Man: Do not underestimate the power of the Thumb!
- Unwise Council Member: Oh, don't try to scare me with your ooby-dooby magic talk, Helmet Man. Your "I'm a horrifying warlock and I'm going to get you with my mystic potions" talk sicken me! I laugh at you and your "I'm a frightening wizard threat of hostility." Why don't you gather some frog legs and eyes of a newt, and conjur up a potion that will get you your face back, and perhaps make you one mere ounce less pathetic than you truly are!
- [Black Helmut Man strangles him with the "power of the Thumb"]
- Unwise Council Member: *strangled gasping*... Or not!
- [Imperial Thumb's head pops off]
- Black Helmet Man: Any other comments?
- British Thumb: I have a question! Why is it that we all speak in British accents, when we're from outer space where there's no Britain?
- [Black Helmut Man pops British Thumb's head off as well]
- Hand Duet: All right, you thumbs, listen up. A one-armed man killed my wife Sabrina, a working girl. And now I'm a fugitive and in clear and present danger. I should be presumed innocent, but they're playing patriot games with me; Raiders, regarding Henry, Blade Runner and Air Force One.
- Loke Groundrunner: I'm sorry, what was that last part?
- Narrator: If there were thumbs in space and they got mad at each other, there would be... Thumb Wars!
- Prissypeo: They'll kill us for sure! We need something we can trade for our lives!
- Beboobeep: Beboobeep!
- Prissypeo: Yes, the Princess! What a marvelous idea!
- [Later...]
- Thumbtrooper: This is the droid that promised to deliver her!
- Princess Bunhead: What?
- Prissypeo: Bunhead's on to us! Let's get out of here!
- Black Helmet Man: Loke, I am your mother!
- Loke Groundrunner: No!
- Black Helmet Man: Mama's gonna teach you some manners!
- Oobedoob Benubi: Come now, touch your tongue to mine.
- Loke Groundrunner: What?
- Oobedoob Benubi: Your tongue - touch it to mine.
- Loke Groundrunner: Why?
- Oobedoob Benubi: To make it official!
- Loke Groundrunner: To make what official?
- Oobedoob Benubi: You know, ALL OF IT!
- Oobedoob Benubi: But my uncle just bought those! Geez! You are a whiner. Come! The answers will be
- [crosses his eyes]
- Oobedoob Benubi: revealed.
- Loke Groundrunner: I've got three FIST fighters coming from my left!
- Annoying Pilot: Copy, Stray Dog!
- Loke Groundrunner: I, I don't think I'm Stray Dog.
- Annoying Pilot: Copy that, Red Rooster!
- Loke Groundrunner: I, I don't think I'm Red Rooster either.
- Annoying Pilot: No problem, Nasty Butler!
- Loke Groundrunner: I'm ending this transmission.
- Aunt Gonnabiteit: I must say, you're becoming a fine specimen of a man, Loke Groundrunner.
- Loke Groundrunner: Well alot of good that does me here. I wanna join the Thumbellion Resistance. I wanna make something of myself, be of use to someone.
- Uncle Soondead: Well you're plenty useful here, Loke. The harvest is soon and... and you'll be getting help. I bought some new droids from the freaky little hooded creatures. The tall one is effeminate and annoying. And I think the little one has an amputee inside!
- Loke Groundrunner: [whiny voice] Harvest, harvest, harvest! That's all you ever care about! You don't care about me. I wanna see the universe!
- [squealing]
- Loke Groundrunner: YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM INSIDE! YOU NEVER HAVE! I'M GONNA RUN AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK EVER!
- [storms out crying]
- Uncle Soondead: Whoo! What a whiner that kid is.
- Oobedoob Benubi: That's no moon...
- [looks down at Hand's pants, which are revealing his butt crack]
- Hand Duet: Oh, sorry... Let me hike these up.
- [quickly pulls up his pants]
- Annoying Pilot: [Last Words] We got company, Swollen Ostrich.
- Loke Groundrunner: Oh Man, it's you.
- [a fist fighter blows up the annoying pilot]
- Loke Groundrunner: Thank you.
- Narrator: If there were Thumb's in space and they got mad with each other. There would be...
- Title Card: Thumb Wars... It is a time of great unrest in the Universe. Using the nail side of the power of the Thumb, the Evil Thumbpire has taken a stronghold in the Sacul region of the Egroeg sector. The Thumbellion Resistance Fighters have retreated to a hidden base. The Thumbpire is constructing a big dangerous weapon thing with enough fire power to blow stuff up. If the Thumbellion can destroy the big dangerous weapon thing, they will live and the good side of the thumb will reign. If they don't there can be no sequels. No sequels means no merchandising, no fan clubs, no freaky guys at conventions that have way too much free time and no clear desire to date girls. Victory is imperative!
- Thumb Warrior: [after the enemies shoot the ship] Watch Out For that Word!
- Thumb Warrior: [Explosion] We've been hit!