Muppets Treasure Island (1996 Video Game)

Dave Goelz: The Great Gonzo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Billy Bones : And no one knows to this day what happened to the treasure. Or the treasure map. Maybe you'll find them, Eh Hawkins. Hawkins? Ha!

  [Billy Bones looks at you and laughs. Rizzo the Rat laughs] 

  The Great Gonzo : Tell us another adventure Mr. Bones. My favorite is the story about the one legged man.

  Billy Bones : Ah, The one legged man? I told you to never to mention that cursed beast! Now get back there and finish brewing my stew. I feel the horrors coming on, begone!

  Rizzo the Rat : The horrors. Oh I think I'll be going now. Ho.

  [Gonzo and Rizzo head over to the kitchen. Billy Bones stands up and also heads into the kitchen. Then Blind Pew opens the top half of the front door] 

  :Blind Pew : Eh. Hi Billy Bones it's me Blind Pew! Come to settle the score! Heh heh, heh, Whoa, ow, whoa, ow!

  [Blind Pew trips over the trash cans. Billy Bones comes out of the kitchen. Walks upstairs to his room and sees the paper with the black spot on it] 

  Billy Bones : THE BLACK SPOT! NO!

  [Then Stevenson the Parrot appears on the stair rails] 

• Billy Bones : The black spot! The black spot!

  The Great Gonzo : Um real black spot? Can I see it. I've never seen a real black spot before Mr. B.

  Rizzo the Rat : Hey Hey! Hold that... Door. Hey watch out!

  [Rizzo crashes into the door and falls backwards down the stairs] 

• Rizzo the Rat : Hmm, I'll look for a key.

  The Great Gonzo : I'll look for a sledgehammer.

  Stevenson the Parrot : Hey Hawkins. Try this.

  [Slides the key right next to the sea chest] 

• The Great Gonzo : Ah. The smell of adventure.

  Rizzo the Rat : Rotting wood, mold, mildew. Yep. that's adventure alright.

• Pirates : Open up! We know you're in there!

  [Bangs on the bedroom door] 

  The Great Gonzo : Looks like we've got two choices. A, we jump two stories into the vegetable cart below. Or B, we stay here and face the deadly angry and very well armed pirates.

  Rizzo the Rat : And C?

  The Great Gonzo : There isn't a C.

  Rizzo the Rat : There's always a C! What kind of game is this without a C!

  [Gonzo laughs and they both hide] 

• Rizzo the Rat : Come on Hawkins! That fuse can't burn forever.

  The Great Gonzo : Oh I don't know it's lasted pretty long so far.

  Rizzo the Rat : I'm heightening the drama!

  The Great Gonzo : Aren't you a little short for high drama?

  [Gonzo laughs and they both hide] 

• Beaker : Me, ooh ooh, ooh!

  [the TV screen turns on and shows Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker] 

  Dr. Bunsen Honeydew : Oh. Welcome. I am Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and this is my assistant Beaker.

  Beaker : Me! Me! Me!

  [the TV screen turns off] 

  Director : Yeah! Excuse me Dr. Honeydew, well we need Beaker in Bristol right away.

  [Dr. Bunsen Honeydew fires the cannon and Beaker is launched across the stage set] 

  Beaker : WHOA!

  [Beaker crashes into the wall] 

  Director : Woopsie do. Thank you sir. Yeah Miss Scurf-it. Yeah come out and introduce yourself to Hawkins. Thank you sir.

  [Kermit the Frog opens the stage door and looks at Hawkins] 

  Kermit the Frog : Hey ho Kermit the frog here. Welcome to...

  [Kermit the Frog is interrupted by Fozzie Bear who runs right up to him] 

  Fozzie Bear : Hey Kermit! I've got some great new pirate jokes for the day.

  Kermit the Frog : Um... well... not now Fozzie. You see...

  Fozzie Bear : Wait! Wait! Did you hear about the one pirate who kept falling down? They called him Black and Blue Beard. Aah! Wacka, Wacka!

  Kermit the Frog : Anymore more jokes like that Fozzie and you'll wacka wacka the plank.

  Fozzie Bear : Hey! That's funny! Can I use that?

  Kermit the Frog : Um sure. but but first you'll have to take your place in Bristol please.

  Fozzie Bear : No.

  Kermit the Frog : Yeah. go ahead right back to the door. Yep.

  [Fozzie Bear walks in the stage door, Kermit the Frog pushes the touchscreen TV of a map and walks in the stage door and closes the door] 

  Director : Okay. Now where's the parrot?

  Stevenson the Parrot : Squawk!

  Director : Aah. Stevenson. You're the help character. You go and help already.

  [Stevenson the Parrot shows up and looks at Hawkins] 

  Stevenson the Parrot : Hi ya Hawkins. Say, welcome to the game. So I know you're asking yourself, self. Why is this parrot calling me Hawkins? Wasn't he the hero of Treasure Island? Right, right, wrong! Ha ha, you're the new Hawkins and hero and I'm your Stevenson. I'll be on my perch.

  [the parrot walks off but then comes back to look at Hawkins again] 

  Stevenson the Parrot : Here's something else, just tap on me once if you need any help. Tap on me twice if you're ready to see your stuff. Anytime you're ready, I'm ready. Squawk!

  [Kermit the Frog opens the stage door] 

  Kermit the Frog : Okay! Start the opening woo!

  [Kermit pushes the touchscreen TV and goes back in the door] 

• Rizzo the Rat : Pirates!

  [the pirates break down the door and search the room] 

  The Great Gonzo : Woo. Uh oh.

  :Blind Pew : We'd be taking back that treasure map now! What's that? I smell something burning.

  [Then the dynamite explodes and blows up part of the Benbow bedroom Inn. Gonzo and Rizzo go flying in the air before falling down] 

  Cart Driver : Look out! It's raining rats and uh whatevers. Oh I've had enough of this job, I'm outta here.

  [Then the cart driver man gets out of the cart and walks off] 

  The Great Gonzo : Whoa Hawkins! Ahh! Incoming!

  Rizzo the Rat : Look out below!

  [Rizzo the rat falls in the molasses barrel and splatters molasses all over Jim Hawkins face and he can't see] 

  The Great Gonzo : Molasses. What a mess.

  [the cart moves] 

  Rizzo the Rat : Whew. That was a close one. Now if there was only some way to pass the time between here and Bristol.

  Rizzo the Rat : [singing]  99 pieces of cheese on the wall. 99 pieces of cheese. Take one down. Pass it around. 98 pieces of cheese on the wall. 98 pieces of cheese on the wall, 98 pieces of cheese. Take one down let it turn brown. 97 pieces of cheese on the wall. 97 pieces of cheese on the wall 97 pieces of cheese. Take one down trade it for a pound...

• Stevenson the Parrot : Now we need a ship. Why? Well we have a map to you know, Treasure Island. Squawk!

  [the fanfare horns play] 

  Rizzo the Rat : Woo Hey, hey. It sounds like intermission I'd say we get some food.

  The Great Gonzo : I'd say we find a ship. Let's head for the docks come on.

  Rizzo the Rat : Ok.

  [Rizzo and Gonzo walk off and the cart leaves] 

• The Great Gonzo : Hawkins! Come on in. This place is great!

• The Great Gonzo : Wow! What a ship. Hey, Maybe we can sail her to Treasure Island.

  Rizzo the Rat : Oh sure like they'll just give us the keys. Heh well I guess it's worth a shot. Yeah.

  The Great Gonzo : Okay come on.

• The Great Gonzo : Yike what a grouch.

  Rizzo the Rat : No kidding.

  The Great Gonzo : Sheesh, Seal of Passage, Seal of Passage. Now where do you suppose we find that?

  Rizzo the Rat : I have no idea.

  The Great Gonzo : Let's split up and canvas into town

  Rizzo the Rat : Now where are we going to find that much canvas at a time like this?

  The Great Gonzo : You are such an idiot.

  Rizzo the Rat : Oh oh like you're a genius.

  The Great Gonzo : Come on come on. Let's split up and look for the Squire guy.

  Rizzo the Rat : Alright alright I'll go this way.

  The Great Gonzo : And I'll go this way. And Hawkins you go that way.

  Rizzo the Rat : Yeah.

• Rizzo the Rat : Woo hoo, Hey Hawkins, why don't you go inside, I ain't dressed for it.

  The Great Gonzo : Yeah neither am I.

• Rizzo the Rat : Hey Gonzo that's the guy Billy Bones warned us about. He's got one leg.

  The Great Gonzo : So what? So do I.

  Rizzo the Rat : Yeah but you got another one next to it.

  The Great Gonzo : Ahh.

  Long John Silver : You must be Hawkins? Long John Silver's my name. I'm making an apple dumpling and could use your help. Putting it in the pot with apples. You're a fine sort helping old Long John feeding his crew. Hit the dinner bell and ring when you're done.

  [Then the apple rolls on the table and the mini game begins] 

• Stevenson the Parrot : [Hawkins wakes up from his sleep in the barrel and opens the cover]  Hey hey Hawkins! Wake up! I think I hear something.

  Mad Monty : [the pirates yell, laugh and complain]  Grr. I'd say we kill the captain now! Along with that Hawkins and the other fleet! Ha ha ha! Apple anyone?

  Bad Polly : And after that, we can put that son of a bear and make a rug out of him.

  Clueless Morgan : Yeah! And then we'll dress up like ladies and big hats and pointy shoes and dance on him.

  Long John Silver : Patience you scurvy dogs! We'll take control of this ship soon enough! And if any of you mutiny before I say so! I will do to you what I'm going to do to them! I say we go ashore and find the treasure. When we return to the ship. We'll kill the lot of them! And the treasure, will be ours!

  [the pirates yell] 

  Mad Monty , Clueless Morgan , Angel Marie : Yeah! Grr! Murder!

  The Great Gonzo : Why those little worms!

  Rizzo the Rat : And speaking of worms, I'm hungry. Where's breakfast?

• Long John Silver : Hey mate! Come a little closer won't ya. I need a hand here before shoving off to the island. And be quick about it! The tide is coming in!

  The Great Gonzo : Be quick about it? I'll give him quick about it!

  Rizzo the Rat : Yeah I've got a good mind to tweak his nose!

  The Great Gonzo : Ooh. That sounds like fun. Could you do me next?

  Rizzo the Rat : Oh get out of here!

  Long John Silver : Hawkins mate! Will you do old Long John a favor and hand him his crutch? I can't reach it from here!

  Stevenson the Parrot : Okay Hawkins. I guess you should help the one legged man. You know the nice one legged man who we overheard saying going to kidnap you and steal the treasure and kill everyone on board ship and Wait wrong! Don't don't don't help the one legged man hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

  Long John Silver : Grab him boys!

  [Hawkins gets captured and blindfolded by Mad Monty regardless of whether or not the player hand clicks the crutch or not] 

  Mad Monty : Gotcha! You're coming with us!

  [Gonzo gasps and the pirates puts Hawkins in the jolly boat] 

  The Great Gonzo : Gasp! Whoa Hawkins! Aggh!

  Long John Silver : Heh heh heh. We got you now Hawkins! The captain can't maroon us on the island with you on board.

  Clueless Morgan : Good thinking boss.

• Stevenson the Parrot : We won! We won Hawkins! Hah! I was with you all the way! I'll be uh nestling with the treasure if you need me. Coming!

  Long John Silver : Hey mate! Boo! Sorry for startling you. I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye. I reserved a little for me self. So Don't you worry about me. But you, you found the real treasure here mate. Your friends. Sail with good friends like these and you'll travel as far as your dreams can take you. So, say goodbye to your old friend John. I have a feeling, we'll be meeting again. See you mate!

  Sam the Eagle : Welcome aboard Cabin Mate Hawkins! That was some very unsafe activity out there! Good work.

  Kermit the Frog : Umm. Thank you Mr. Arrow and thanks to you too Hawkins. Without you at the helm, we could have never made it this far. Now, raise the anchor and sound the cannon! Our voyage home has begun Yay!

  The Great Gonzo : You heard the Captain. Fire on the cannon!

  Beaker : Uh oh! Whoa!

  [the cannon fires Mr. Beaker who flies across the room and the end credits begin]