The Batman Superman Movie: World's Finest (1997 TV Movie)
Arleen Sorkin: Dr. Harleen Quinzel, Harley Quinn
Quotes
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[Joker's plane crashes into the sea and explodes]
Harley Quinn : Puddin'!
Batman : At this point, he probably is.
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[Harley's driving Lex Luthor's limo]
Harley Quinn : Whoa, momma, check out the cute hitchhiker!
The Joker : [hitchhiking and showing off his gams] Yoo-hoo!
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[Mercy is watching Harley Quinn, on TV, being tossed into a padded wagon in a straightjacket]
Harley Quinn : I want a lawyer! I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!
Mercy Graves : Now that's funny! Ha, ha, ha!
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Lex Luthor : [grabs Joker] You maniac! You idiot! How dare you use one of my laboratories for your...?
Joker : Harley?
[Harley somersaults out and strikes a ridiculous fighting stance]
Harley Quinn : Put him down, baldy!
Lex Luthor : Mercy?
[Mercy slams a flying kick into Harley]
Mercy Graves : Here's for that punch in the face!
Joker : [to Luthor] Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?
[Luthor reluctantly releases Joker, while sounds of fighting continue in the background]
Harley Quinn : Ooh, listen to Little Miss Can't-Take-A-Joke!
[as Joker guides Luthor to a chair, Mercy goes flying across the room]
Joker : Thank you. Have a seat, please.
[as they sit, Harley charges across the room]
Harley Quinn : BANZAI!
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Harley Quinn : [playing with a Batman-shaped cookie while trying to cheer up Joker] Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman. Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!
Joker : [breaks the cookie] I know you're trying to cheer me up, Harley. But you see, anytime I blow a billion dollar deal, *it really kills my appetite*!
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[first lines]
Harley Quinn : Hang on there, Clyde!
Pawn Shop Broker : Sorry, miss, we're closed.
Harley Quinn : Just look at what I'm selling! You'll plotz!
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Lois Lane : [to The Joker] You sick, demented, murdering freak!
Harley Quinn : [gasp] How rude!
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Harley Quinn : [holding a gingerbread Batman cookie] Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman! Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!
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[as Luthor and Joker finish their discussion, Mercy and Harley are still pounding each other's heads on the floor]
Lex Luthor : Mercy, let's go!
[to Joker]
Lex Luthor : Keep in mind, this is your last chance.
[He walks out. Mercy limps after him, groaning. Harley limps over to Joker, also groaning]
Joker : How you doin', slugger?
Harley Quinn : A-okay, Mr. J!
[He pats her on the shoulder. She collapses]