American Pie (1999)
Eugene Levy: Jim's Dad
Photos
Quotes
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Jim's Dad : [On Condoms] Well, they're safer than a tube sock...
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Jim's Dad : [Jim's Dad just caught Jim masturbating into the pie his mom cooked] We'll just tell your mother that... we ate it all.
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Jim's Dad : I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of
[hesitates]
Jim's Dad : masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it "stroking the salami", yeah, you know, "pounding the old pud".
[pause]
Jim's Dad : I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
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Jim's Dad : [to Jim] Now, do you know what a clitoris is?
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[last lines]
Jim's Dad : Sweetheart!