American Pie (1999)
Seann William Scott: Stifler
Photos
Quotes
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Steve Stifler : [at choir practice] What did you cocks do to him?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : You came to see me in action?
Jim : Yeah man, I thought you sounded really good!
Steve Stifler : Yeah man, I think you need your balls reattached!
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Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : [On being sensitive] You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Steve Stifler : I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.
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Steve Stifler : I'll see you guys tonight, in the "No Fucking Section", right?
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Chuck Sherman : Vicky, Jessica, great to see you, glad you could make it! Ha ha, Bitches.
Steve Stifler : Sherman!
Chuck Sherman : Hey!
Steve Stifler : What the fuck are you doing here?
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Steve Stifler : You actually said that?
[laughs hysterically]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Shut up!
Jim : You did better than me, Nova.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.
Steve Stifler : You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie.
[shouts]
Steve Stifler : *suck me, beautiful!*
[walks off, laughing]
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Kevin : [Stifler is vomiting in a toilet] Hey, Stifler, how's the "Pale Ale"?
Steve Stifler : [vomiting] Fuck you!
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Steve Stifler : Choir chick! What the hell are you doing here?
Heather : Well, uh, I was asking Chris to the prom. So do you wanna go?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Yeah, that would be great.
Steve Stifler : Well, just don't expect Oz to pay for the limo.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Stifler, fuck! I mean, why do you gotta be so insensitive all the time?
Steve Stifler : What? Whatever.
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Steve Stifler : Hey, Kev, seen Shitbrick lately?
Kevin : Why? What did you do to him?
Steve Stifler : Me? Nothing. I'm the one who ass he kicked. But uh... I'll tell you one thing... I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.
[shows a jar of laxatives]
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Steve Stifler : I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!
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Steve Stifler : She called me and asked for my number.
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[Deleted Scene. The boys sit by the lockers]
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : She's a college chick.
Jim : Cassanova!
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Debbie.
Steve Stifler : Bullshit - from where?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : She works part-time at my dad's store.
Steve Stifler : Yeah right, Oz, I bet it's more like your dad works at her store.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher : Dude, come on, he does not.
Kevin : Really, Stifler, he's the manager.
Steve Stifler : Hey, I'm not making fun - I'm fucking impressed! I mean, "Hi, six inch or foot-long, white or wheat?" - that's some serious shit to master!
Kevin : Stifler, you're such an asshole!
Steve Stifler : [chuckles] Myers... I mean, what's the deal with you and Vicky anyways? I mean you guys have been going since homecoming for God's sake and all she'll do is blow you? Shit, I'd drop her like a steaming turd!
Finch : Do you commonly grasp warm pieces of stool?
Steve Stifler : I do when I'm throwing them at your mom, you damn freak!
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Stifler's Brother : [after Jim prematurely ejaculates touching Nadia] What happened? What did he do?
Steve Stifler : He blew it.
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Steve Stifler : Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house and you're not gonna do anything about that?
Jim : What am I going to do? Huh? Broadcast her over the internet?
Steve Stifler : Yeah!
Kevin : You can do that?
Jim : No, I cannot do that to her.
Steve Stifler : Jim, get some fucking balls! Man, if you don't have the guts to photograph a naked chick in your house how the hell are you gonna sleep with one?
Finch : I don't like the kid, but he's got a point, Jim.
Steve Stifler : See, even Shitbrick knows you should do it.
Steve Stifler : Now, all you gotta do is set up some sort of private link or whatever on the net and tell me the address.
Kevin : You can send me the address too. I'll save you a seat.
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Steve Stifler : Relax, take it slow, and let the good times roll.
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Matt Stifler : [after Jim prematurely ejaculates touching Nadia] What happened? What did he do?
Steve Stifler : He blew it.