Dusty:
"The Suck Zone". It's the point basically when the twister... sucks you up. That's not the technical term for it, obviously.
[
Spotting a tornado]
Beltzer:
That's no moon, that's a space station!
Rabbit:
Uh... yeah, trust me. Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise.
[
about Bill's new fiancee]
Bill:
She's a... a therapist.
Jo:
Oh... Yours?
Bill:
Christ, you couldn't resist, could you?
Jo:
What? I'm not saying you *need* therapy.
Bill:
What? Wait, wait, wait, I need therapy?
Jo:
I didn't say that. I didn't *say* that.
Bill:
What could I possibly need a therapist for? Huh? You're the doctor, tell me!
Jo:
I don't know... inability to finish things?
Bill:
"Inability to finish things"?
Jo:
Maybe rushing into things you can't quite commit to.
Bill:
Commitment?
Jo:
You asked!
Jo:
Can I drive?
Bill:
No!
Jo:
Then would you?
Bill:
[
noticing truck has drifted off the road and is about to run into a parked vehicle] Whoa!
Dusty:
Red meat. We crave sustenance.
Jo:
No, guys. We are not invading my aunt.
Dusty:
Food.
Dusty, Rabbit:
[
others join in] Food.
Dusty, Rabbit, Beltzer:
[
the rest join in] FOOOOOOOOD!
Jo:
Hey! We are absolutely not going.
Dr. Jonas Miller:
[
explaining what his own version of Dorothy can do when Bill uppercuts him in the face] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Bill:
You son of a bitch.
[
grabs Jonas by his shirt and begins to fight]
Dr. Jonas Miller:
Hey man. What is your major malfunction?
Bill:
You stole my design, you son of a bitch.
[
continues to fight with Jonas then Bill's team and Jonas' team breaks them up]
Dr. Jonas Miller:
What are you talking about?
Bill:
Dorothy. You took her, you damn thief.
Dr. Jonas Miller:
[
relizes what Bill is talking about] Oh, I get it. You want to take credit for MY design.
Bill:
She was OUR idea and you know it.
Dr. Jonas Miller:
Unrealised idea... unrealised.
Bill:
Jo. Things go wrong. You can't explain it, you can't predict it. Killing yourself wo'nt bring your dad back. I'm sorry that he died, but that was a long time ago. You gotta move on. Stop living in the past, and look what you got right in front of you.
Jo:
What are you talking about?
Bill:
Me, Jo.
[
Bill needs Jo's signature on divorce papers]
Jo:
So you want the papers?
Bill:
I did drive all the way out here for 'em.
Jo:
They're signed and ready.
Bill:
Good, good. Let's see 'em.
Jo:
Do you need them right this second?
Bill:
Well, it'd be nice.
Jo:
What's the urgent urgency? You act like you're getting married.
Bill:
I am.
Jo:
[
after a shocked pause] Wow.
Bill:
Yeah.
Jo:
Is it Melinda?
Bill:
Melissa.
Jo:
Wasn't there a Melinda in there somewhere?
Bill:
No, there's only been Melissa since you.
Jo:
Boy, not much for browsing are you?
[
talking to a psychiatric patient on the phone]
Melissa:
She didn't marry your penis... Okay, she didn't only marry your penis.
[
Crying with fright after a pair of tornadoes spun their truck around a few times]
Melissa:
When you used to tell me that you chase tornadoes, deep down I thought it was just a metaphor.
[
after spotting Jonas being interviewed by a reporter on TV]
Jo:
He really is in love with himself. I thought it was just a summer thing.
Jo:
Where's my truck...?
[
the truck crashes back to earth, right in the middle of the road, in front of the truck Melissa is driving]
Jo:
There it is.
Aunt Meg:
He didn't keep his part of the bargain, did he?
Jo:
Which part?
Aunt Meg:
To spend his life pining for you, and die miserable and alone.
Jo:
Is that too much to ask?
Jo:
[
cow flies by in the storm] Cow.
[
cow flies by in the storm]
Jo:
'Nother cow.
Bill:
Actually I think that was the same one.
Melissa:
I gotta go Julia, we got cows.
Bill:
Why can't we spend a normal day together?
Dusty:
Ha Ha! It's the wonder of nature, baby!
Jo:
She's nice.
Bill:
Ha!
Jo:
Uh oh. She's not nice?
Dusty:
The extreme! IT'S THE EXTREME!
Bill:
Oh, man. Don't start that shit.
Beltzer:
Hey, you guys want to wrap this up pretty soon?
Bill:
What?
Beltzer:
Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to chase this tornado, or if you just wanted to catch the next one.
Bill:
Shit!
Jo:
Have you lost your nerve?
Bill:
Tighten your seatbelt.
Rabbit:
God, Meg, you've got a lot of beef. Where did you get all this beef?
Meg Greene:
Did you see my cows out front?
Rabbit:
No.
Meg Greene:
Oh!
Dusty:
You slaughter your own cows, Meg, nice.
Dusty:
Meg's gravy is famous. It's practically a food group.
[
to a terrified Melissa]
Dusty:
Did you just miss that truck? That's awesome! That's AWESOME!
Jo:
You've never seen it miss this house, and miss that house, and come after you!
Dusty:
Jo, Bill, it's coming! It's headed right for us!
Bill:
It's already here!
Dusty:
He's gonna rue the day he came up against The Extreme, baby. Bill, I'm talkin' imminent rueage.
[
Aunt Meg is being loaded into an ambulance]
Jo:
Is she OK?
Paramedic:
We'll probably keep her overnight just to be safe.
Aunt Meg:
Overnight, forget it, I'm all right.
Jo:
You're going to the hospital.
Aunt Meg:
OK, I'll go, but I'm gonna drive myself.
Rabbit:
Honey, your car is in a tree around the corner.
Aunt Meg:
OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Jo:
Debris! We got debris!
[
Jonas is watching the doppler]
Dr. Jonas Miller:
Looking good. Looking real good. Okay, about 4 miles down hang a right, deploy and we'll be done.
Eddie:
Uh, Dr. Miller?
[
Jonas looks up in time to see the twister change direction]
Dr. Jonas Miller:
Shit... shit! It's moving away! God!
Eddie:
Looks like they're going to intercept.
[
Jonas spots Bill's team moving in]
Dr. Jonas Miller:
[
Over radio] Dammit, Tony, I thought you said this thing was gonna stay on the same heading!
[
Watching Jo and Bill approaching a tornado on a video camera]
Dusty:
They're in the bear cage!
[
Seeing Jonas's team arriving after the first tornado wrecks Jo's truck]
Rabbit:
Hey, the auto club's here.
[
Jo is salvaging belongings from her crashed truck and looking at Bill's new truck]
Jo:
You got full insurance on that truck?
Bill:
Liability only.
Jo:
[
thoughtfully] Liability only...
Jo:
It's a very nice truck.
Melissa:
[
smiling] Thank you.
Bill:
Don't even think about it.
[
Jo keeps cleaning out her truck]
Bill:
No way.
[
Jo and Bill are trying to hide from the F5 in a barn but see it's full of sharp metal farming implements]
Jo:
My god, who are these people?
Bill:
I don't think so!
[
Bill and Jo are in the shed hiding from the F5 tornado and bill sees water pipes coming out of the floor]
Bill:
Here! These pipes go down at least thirty feet, if we anchor to them we might have a chance!
Aunt Meg:
[
Meg's house has been hit by the tornado. Her dog is still inside] Bill! Can you get Mose for me? I think he's a little shaken up.
Melissa:
Uh... it was nice meeting you.
Aunt Meg:
Likewise. You better run.
Dusty:
Fashionably late again, eh Jonas? Fashionably late. Gimme kiss baby!
[
kisses Eddies cheek]
Eddie:
Get outta here!
Dusty:
[
laughing; points at Eddie] Loser! Move on!
Dusty:
Jo's gonna flip when she sees he's back!
Bill:
I'm not back!
Joey:
[
Computer beeps] We've got a touchdown!
Laurence:
[
On radio] We have touchdown! Touchdown! Tornado is on the ground!
Haynes:
[
Hands radio to Beltzer] Listen to this!
Laurence:
Looks like it's heading down Route 33.
Bill:
Jo, we're on 33.
Jo:
What's the path?
Laurence:
Looks like it's going about 35 mph.
Rabbit:
[
Looking around] Can you see this?
Allan Sanders:
I can not see this. Where is it? Hello? Which way you guys looking?
Bill:
Where, where, where...
Jo:
Direction, Rabbit.
Rabbit:
North northeast!
Beltzer:
Do you see it?
Haynes:
No.
Rabbit:
North northeast, you copy?
Bill:
Shit, it's coming right at us!
Laurence:
Axis has gone vertical, gone vertical. Sucker's really gaining up strength.
Jo:
You see it?
Bill:
No...
[
Takes radio]
Bill:
Beltzer! We do not have a visual. Repeat, we do not have a visual. Help us out here!
Jo:
Where is it?
Beltzer:
Yeah, I got it Billy. Best motion I've ever seen. Looks like the base of this sucker's at least a half mile wide.
Bill:
Rabbit?
Rabbit:
If you are going east on 7, it should be coming right over that hill in a matter of minutes!
Allan Sanders:
This is the one man, I feel it.
Jo:
Guys, we are NOT invading my aunt!
Jo:
[
in the truck, discussing Bill's current life changes] Hey, as long as you're happy...
Bill:
I AM. I AM happy. I'm a happy person. I'm happy with my life. I'm happy with the way things are going in my life. I'm happy with... with...
Jo:
Melissa?
Bill:
I know her name! YES. I'm happy... with... Melissa!
Haynes:
[
listening to Bill and Jo argue on the CB] I think they're getting better at this.
Jo:
You know what, as long as you're happy.
Bill:
Thank you! I am happy! Im a happy person. Im happy with my life, Im happy with the way things are going in my life, Im happy with- with...
Jo:
Melissa?
Bill:
I know her name! Yes im happy with Melissa! I am!
Jo:
[
while Bill is talking] You look happy.
[
whispers]
Jo:
You look happy.
Rabbit:
In a severe lightning storm, you wanna grab your ankles and stick your butt in the air.
Beltzer:
Hey there professor, I think I fixed it.
Jo:
[
dish sparks] Fuck me, this thing is useless!
Beltzer:
Sorry, Jo.
Jo:
[
dish works] That's good!Thats Good! Beltzer get me a reading.
Beltzer:
Hang on a second, boss lady, hold your horses. Which way you want it, Jo?
Jo:
Looks like the dry line has stalled. A sector scan of West North-West look for rotation and increase the PRF.
Dusty:
He strolls up to the twister, and he says, *have a drink*. And he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it never hits the ground.
Dusty:
[
after first tornado, dusty walks over to Joe's crashed truck whle she's grabbing thing's out of it laughing and noticing DOROTHY I still strapped in the bed, damaged] Well there's some good news, it *did* fly. So what was it like?
Jo:
It was windy.
Dusty:
Windy?
[
laugh's and walks away]
Bill:
Honey, this is a tissue of lies. You see there was a bad Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.
Beltzer:
Normal man spends his life avoiding tense situations.
Dusty:
Repo Man spends his life getting into tense situations, Beltzer!
[
after the twister has passed]
Bill:
It's gone... it's gone.
Jo:
[
looking behind them] Where's my truck?
[
cut to road; truck crashes to the ground in front of Melissa in Bill's truck]
Melissa:
[
screams]
Bill:
[
over radio] OK, Rabbit, time to impress me.
Dusty:
Jo! Bill! Did you see that explosion?
Jo:
[
having just driven through the exploding petroleum truck with Bill] Yeah, we saw it.
[
last lines]
Allan Sanders:
Hey Jo and Bill, check out that sky!
Jo:
You know what? I think we've seen enough.
[
turns and kisses Bill]
Rabbit:
Look, all I'm saying is don't fold the maps.
Allan Sanders:
I didn't fold the maps.
Rabbit:
Yeah, well Kansas is a mess, there's a big crease right through Wichita. ROLL the maps.
Rabbit:
Find this road... it's like Bob's Road...
Dr. Jonas Miller:
Well, let me enlighten you people.
Dr. Jonas Miller:
Today, we're gonna make history, so stick around. 'Cause the days of sniffing the dirt are over.
Laurence:
Better than what *you* sniff.
Bill:
We'll see who gets there first... ”pal".
Dr. Jonas Miller:
[
to Bill] Oh, by the way. I really enjoy your weather reports.
[
Jonas' crew laugh]
Bill:
[
runs at Jonas] You slime! I'm not through with you yet!
[
Jo's crew break up the fight]
Laurence:
[
of Jonas] He's a corporate kiss-butt, man!
Dusty:
[
while watching Jonas on television] Oh God, he sucks.
Rabbit:
Oh, shut up. Get him off.
[
Bill turns off the televsion]
Jo:
[
about Jonas] He is so in love with himself. I thought it was just a summer thing.
Melissa:
Why do you call him the extreme.
Dusty:
Because Bill *is* the extreme. There was one time, he has a bottle of Jack Daniels, he was butt naked.
Bill:
I was not naked, I was "not naked".
Dusty:
He walks up to the twister, he throws the bottle, he says here have some. The bottle never hits the ground.
Bill:
[
to Melissa] Honey, these are a list of lies. There was another Bill, I killed him.
Joey:
[
Discussing at Meg's on the tornadoes they have seen so far] No, that was a good size twister. What was it, an F3?
Bill:
Solid F2.
Melissa:
See, now you have lost me again.
Bill:
It's the Fujita scale. It measures a tornado's intensity by how much it eats.
Melissa:
Eats?
Bill:
Destroys.
Laurence:
That one we encountered back there was a strong F2, possibly an F3.
Beltzer:
Maybe we'll see some 4's.
Haynes:
That would be sweet!
Bill:
4 is good. 4 will relocate your house very efficently.
Melissa:
Is there an F5?
[
Everyone goes dead silent]
Melissa:
What would that be like?
Jason 'Preacher' Rowe:
The Finger of God.
Melissa:
None of you has ever seen an F5?
Bill:
...Just one of us.
[
Looks upstairs, indicating Jo]
Jo:
[
in the middle of an argument chasing the first tornado, veering off the road] Do you want me to drive?
Bill:
[
while looking at Jo instead of road] No!
Jo:
[
Seeing they are heading for a large combine parked along the side of the road] Then would you?
[
Bill swerves to avoid]
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