Tommy Boy (1995)

Maria Vacratsis: Helen

Quotes 

• Tommy : Hey, what's your name?

  Helen : Helen.

  Tommy : That's nice, you look like a Helen. Helen, we're both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a sales man. Let's say I go into a guy's office, let's say he's even remotely interested in buying something. Well then I get all excited. I'm like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet.

  [Reaches down and picks up a dinner roll] 

  Tommy : Now the pet is my possible sale. Hello there pretty little pet, I love you. And then I stoke it, and I pet it, and I massage it. Hehe I love it, I love my little naughty pet.

  [Pokes the roll playfully] 

  Tommy : You're naughty! And then I take my naughty pet and I go...

  [makes ripping noises as he tears apart the roll] 

  Tommy : [Wailing loudly, making the whole restaurant look]  Uuuuuuh! I killed it! I killed my sale! And that's when I blow it. That's when people like us have gotta forge ahead, Helen. Am I right?

  Helen : God, you're sick.

• Tommy : Richard, do I have a mark on my face? It really hurts.

  Richard Hayden : Nope, nothing. I thought I hit you on the shoulder.

  Tommy : My shoulder doesn't hurt very much, but my face does.

  [points to huge bruised area on his face] 

  Tommy : Right here. Not here or here so much. Right here.

  Richard Hayden : Nope. Ship shape! Waitress, can I get that shrimp cocktail I saw in the glass case?

  Helen : Yep. And you, what can I get

  [pauses and looks at Tommy's face] 

  Helen : Jesus, what happened to your face?

  Tommy : I knew it!

• Tommy : I'll have chicken wings.

  Helen : Kitchen's closed until dinner. We just got cold stuff and desserts.

  Tommy : Boy, some chicken wings would really hit the spot. You sure it's closed?

  Helen : Let me check.

  [she doesn't move, deadpan] 

  Helen : Yup, it's closed.

  Tommy : Okay. I'll just have a sugar packet or two.