Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds in Love (1994 TV Movie)
Corinne Bohrer: Jeanie Humphrey
Photos
Quotes
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Jeanie Humphrey : To hell with my father!
Dudley Dawson : I was hoping you'd say that!
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Betty Skolnick : Hey. What's Trevor Gulf doing?
Jeanie Humphrey : [startled] I-I think he's mooning us.
Lewis Skolnick : That's no moon, thats the San Joquin valley
[shouts, running at Trevor as people began to react off-screen]
Lewis Skolnick : TREVOR, NO!
Takashi : [takes photo of Trevor's mooning] Oh! Big Smile!
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Jeanie Humphrey : I love Booger! And I'm gonna marry him, no matter WHAT you say!
Tippy : Jeanie!
[to Aaron]
Tippy : What did you say to her?
Aaron Humphrey : Nothing, I just made a suggestion.
Tippy : Oh, can't we all just get along?
Aaron Humphrey : She comes up with a guy who looks like he came out of a vending machine and I'M the one who's wrong!
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Jeanie Humphrey : [to Heidi] You gave up what you wanted to tell the truth, I admire that quality in a person.
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Jeanie Humphrey : It's on!
Lewis Skolnick , Betty Skolnick : What's on?
Jeanie Humphrey : The wedding!
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Jeanie Humphrey : I'm sure my mother's just overwhelmed by the wedding and everything.
Dudley Dawson : Oh, then you don't think it's because they hate my guts?
Jeanie Humphrey : Booger, I love you!
Dudley Dawson : Yeah, I know *you* do, but I'm not sure about your parents.
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Jeanie Humphrey : I love you, Booger.
Dudley Dawson : Oh, I love you, too.
Jeanie Humphrey : But marriage is about trust, no secrets from each other, remember?
Dudley Dawson : I don't have any secrets.
Jeanie Humphrey : Well, what about that child in Sandusky, Ohio?
Dudley Dawson : I don't have a child in Sandusky, Ohio!
Jeanie Humphrey : Well, why would Detective Penrod say that you did?
Dudley Dawson : Well, I don't know! I don't even know who Detective Penrod is! I'm a condemned man and I don't have a child!
Jeanie Humphrey : I believe you, Booger.
Dudley Dawson : You do?
Jeanie Humphrey : Yes, because marriage is about trust, and I trust you completely.
[laughs]
Dudley Dawson : All I know is that I love you and I think we should continue the wedding.
Jeanie Humphrey : Oh Booger, I don't know what to do. I don't know - I tell you - what's wrong or right anymore.
Dudley Dawson : I, uh... I know it's a day early, but... I'd like you to read my valentine.
[Jeanie giggles]
Dudley Dawson : Open it up.
Jeanie Humphrey : [reads from the card] Ahem, "An empty spot was on my heart, until I met you, O Valentine. Then the spot filled in, my heart was whole, I could love for the first time in my life, now that you are going to become... my wife." Ah, the hell with my dad!
Dudley Dawson : Oh, that's exactly what I hoped you'd say!
[Jeanie starts laughing and lowing like a cow]
Dudley Dawson : Again.
[Jeanie continues to make a lowing sound]
Dudley Dawson : Ho ho ho ho ho, oh I can't tell you what it does to me to hear you moo again! Moooo!
Jeanie Humphrey : Oh, Booger!
Dudley Dawson : Jeanie!
[Booger and Jeanie share a joyous embrace while lowing and mooing]
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Lewis Skolnick : Now what was going on?
Lamar : Well, Chip was crackin' on Booger's parents.
Dudley Dawson : Crackin' on my parents?
[pause]
Dudley Dawson : What kind of cracks, Chip?
Lewis Skolnick : [apprehensively] Booger.
Unknown : Yeah, what kind?
Lewis Skolnick : Booger, as your best man, I strongly advise you to just let it go.
Dudley Dawson : I'm not going to let it go.
Lewis Skolnick : On the other hand, I'm prepared to explore other avenues with you as well.
Dudley Dawson : What kind of cracks, Chip?
[Chip stammers nervously]
Lamar : Chip said that your mama was so ugly, that the Elephant Man paid to see her.
[Ogre laughs out loud, then silences himself]
Chip : The point is, you have a 12-year old daughter in Sandusky, Ohio!
Dudley Dawson : This has nothing to do with my having a child in Sandusky, Ohio. That isn't what this is about at all.
[pause]
Dudley Dawson : This is because I'm a nerd...
[the crowd gasps]
Dudley Dawson : and it has been since the beginning.
Lamar : Mm-hmm.
Dudley Dawson : Why else would someone rummage through my private life with a detective? And then, announce this... detestable fabrication, this - this tissue of lies on the happiest day of my life?
Jeanie Humphrey : Oh, Booger.
Dudley Dawson : Hath not a nerd eyes? When you prick us, do we not bleed? I am tired of the reckless allegations, the snide snickering, the talking behind backs, the sly innuendoes, the looking down on us! We are what we are, aren't we?
Everybody : Yeah, we are!
Dudley Dawson : And we're proud of what we are.
Everybody : Yeah, we are!
Dudley Dawson : And we are not about to allow ourselves to be intimidated by a bunch of...
Lewis Skolnick : Booger! Don't say it!
Ogre : Say it, Booger!
Dudley Dawson : Nouveau-riche pigs!
Ogre : There you go!
Aaron Humphrey : You have... the audacity... to utter... the most... morally reprehensible slur to these... fine, upstanding... self-made businesspeople! Shame on you, Booger! Shame on all of you nerds.
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Lewis Skolnick : Booger, every wedding has its crisis, this is yours.
Dudley Dawson : A crisis would be easy compared to this.
[looks up to the balcony]
Dudley Dawson : Jeanie!
Jeanie Humphrey : [sadly] Oh, Booger.
Lewis Skolnick : [Jeanie goes back into her bedroom] Booger, the groom never stops pursuing his bride.
[Lewis puts his arm around Betty]
Lewis Skolnick : Never.
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Jeanie Humphrey : [uses the pond scooper as a pole vault, and grunts as he climbs Jeanie's balcony rail] Booger.
Dudley Dawson : Darling! Whoa!
[Booger stumbles over the balcony rail]
Dudley Dawson : So what if I have a child?
Jeanie Humphrey : I'm so confused, you know, I don't know what to think anymore!
Dudley Dawson : Oh, marry me, Jeanie!
Jeanie Humphrey : I- I just need a few days to think about it.
Dudley Dawson : And not get married on Valentine's Day?
Jeanie Humphrey : I'm confused, Booger, I need time!
Dudley Dawson : There was a time when getting married on Valentine's Day was... the most important thing in the world to us.
Jeanie Humphrey : [sighs] Please go, Booger.
Dudley Dawson : Is that what you really want?
Jeanie Humphrey : [fighting back the tears] No,not in my heart and... not in my soul, but I'm just so nuts over this, you know. It's like I just need a little space... Please, Booger?
Dudley Dawson : [Booger gives a rose to Jeanie, starts to sing softly] Jean, Jean / The roses are red /
Jeanie Humphrey : [starts singing] All the leaves have gone green /
Dudley Dawson : And the skies are so low /
Jeanie Humphrey : You can touch them / And so /
Dudley Dawson , Jeanie Humphrey : Come into my arms / Bonnie Jean.
[Booger and Jeanie briefly embrace, falling back onto the bed, giggling]
Jeanie Humphrey : [goes to the balcony] It's on!
Lewis Skolnick , Betty Skolnick : What's on?
Jeanie Humphrey : The wedding! Whoo-hoo!
[Jeanie tosses a rose down from the balcony]
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Dudley Dawson : Hey, hey, hey, don't go.
Jeanie Humphrey : [Heidi sighs] What would you say if I said we should adopt Heidi?
Dudley Dawson : I would say that I love you even more than I already do, and I didn't think that was possible.
Jeanie Humphrey : [to Heidi] You gave up what you wanted to tell the truth, I really admire that quality in a person.
[Heidi, Dudley,and Jeanie have a group hug]
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Mr. Skolnick : I see before me two souls who desire to be joined together. There's no greater challenge in life, and also no greater reward.
Mr. Skolnick : [Mr. Skolnick guffaws; U.N. Jefferson, Ogre, and Travis cry for joy] Do you, Dudley Dawson, take this woman, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, to be your lawful wife?
Dudley Dawson : [to Jean] Before I answer that, I just want to say... this is the happiest moment of my life.
Dudley Dawson : [faces Mr. Skolnick] I do.
Mr. Skolnick : And do you, Jean Lagarde Humphrey, take this man, Dudley Dawson, to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Jeanie Humphrey : Excuse me.
[Jeanie turns to Dudley]
Jeanie Humphrey : I'm going to love you till the end of time.
[faces Mr. Skolnick]
Jeanie Humphrey : I do.
Mr. Skolnick : Then, with the power invested in me by the Tilhoon Institute of Home Learning Church, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
[Mr. Skolnick guffaws; the wedding guests applaud]
Mylan Whitfield : [Dudley and Jeanie have a celebratory kiss] Nerds forever! Forever nerds!
[Mylan stands up]
Mylan Whitfield : Nerds! Nerds!
Mylan Whitfield , Everybody : Nerds! Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!