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34 out of 54 people found the following review useful: Quite Possibly the Worst Movie Ever Made, 22 April 2000 Author: NJDFAN77 from New Jersey
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I saw this movie with an 8 year-old. It made me want to cry. This isn't because it was scary. It was because it was the worst movie I had ever seen and probably the worst I will ever see. Great cast means great movie, right??? NO! Not this time. Great cast, absolutely pathetic movie. Garbage, toxic waste, junk: they all describe North. North has no plot. It starts out with a kid falling asleep in a department store-- how original!!! Even members of it's intended audiences (children) do not like it. I saw the six year old girl behind me weeping and the nine year old boy ahead of me sleeping! Do not rent. Do not buy. Do not think about. Do not act foolishly like I have and waste even a minute writing about it. Forget that it ever existed.
26 out of 40 people found the following review useful: Not for Kids, Not for Adults, 18 February 2003 Author: Scott Miller from Dallas, TX
NOTE: Some of you may be offended by the language in this review. If you are, DO NOT see the movie. All the language here is taken directly from the movie.Roger Ebert "hated, hated, hated" this movie, and while I wouldn't go as far as to say that, this certainly ranks as the worst (by far) Elijah Wood movie on record. The quality of such an actor as Wood or Bruce Willis can't overcome the fact that "North" has absolutely no idea what kind of movie it wants to be.At first glance, "North" seems to be a kids movie. The plot, in which the title character searches for the ideal parents, is a child's dream. The main characters (except Willis' "guardian angel" role) are either kids or stupid. The message is a simple one about what constitutes a true family, and only a child would be unable to determine the exact outcome within the first thirty minutes of the film. "North" feels like a live-action Saturday morning cartoon.But do kids movies have sex jokes? Do kids movies talk about men having blood in their stool or boys balls sticking to their legs in hot weather? Do kids movies have children utter words like "asshole"? Do kids movies have the main character apparently get shot in the head? It's one thing to have elements that will appeal to adults, but those elements shouldn't force parents to cover their kids' ears.North is a bad movie. Parents (and everyone else) be warned.Grade D- (a few good jokes and the always lovable Wood, but this is a movie that never should have been made)
12 out of 16 people found the following review useful: Offbeat, to be certain, but just not funny..., 10 December 2005 Author: moonspinner55 from redlands, ca
Director Rob Reiner in eccentric spirits, but not quite getting the offbeat laughs and sentimental subtext he was going for. Extremely unfunny fantasy concerns unappreciated youngster who receives emancipation from his parents under the proviso he find a new set of guardians within 2 months. Celebrity-studded misfire is slick but not clever, with Bruce Willis in nearly a career-killing role as an angelic "guide" (he's also the film's narrator, in what plays like a last minute decision to fill in all the gaps). One or two fanciful scenes, but it needed more humor, less gooey uplift, and most especially an ending that didn't turn the picture into a pointless dodge. *1/2 from ****
9 out of 11 people found the following review useful: Awful and awfully interesting!, 17 January 2002 Author: nalobcram from USA
The late Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert both picked this film as "The worst film of 1994". (However, they both missed "It's Pat: The Movie"!) I can't blame them. Coming off the huge commercial and critical success of the excellent, "A Few Good Men" (1992) Rob Reiner and his team assembled an all-star cast for this very strange film! "North" is one of the biggest movie misfires I've ever seen. But at the same time it's very curious and odd. Fans of Elijah Wood (I've been a fan of his since "Radio Flyer") must not miss this one, as bad as it may be it's unlike anything you'll see. The only funny moment in the whole film (spoiler alert) is the reference to Jerry Lewis, every other joke bombs. The cast is tremendous yes, and with the current success of "The Lord of the Rings" (which I found very boring, btw) Elijah Wood has FINALLY 'arrived'. But I have a hunch that no matter how successful he becomes, "North" will always be to Wood (and Reiner) what "Bossom Buddies" is to Tom Hanks. "North" is a bad film, yes. But it's bad in a very 'bizarre' way. If your a fan of these people, rent it, if only as a curiosity item. I can't really give this film a 'rating' because it's awful AND awfully interesting.
14 out of 22 people found the following review useful: Pure Evil, 10 August 2003 Author: dlzzx from Dallas, Texas
This movie is Pure Concentrated EVIL! The pain that a friend and I suffered watching this movie was intensified by the fact that audience we saw it with (free screening btw) clapped at the end. I have not seen this abomination since 94, so I can't give any details except one. (SPOILER which you should read). The whole wretched thing was a freakin dream. Rob Reiner's previously great directing work was completely destroyed by this so called film. The curse of NORTH will haunt him for the rest of his life.
3 out of 3 people found the following review useful: The movie that Roger Ebert hated * 5, 3 January 2009 Author: policy134 from Denmark
Notorious for Roger Ebert's most derisive review or the most derisive review in the history of reviews. After having seen it for the second time in 10 years, I must agree that I was not as amused as I was the first time.North is a major cheat. In the first half hour it comes up with a pretty nifty premise but then it doesn't have the guts to follow through. It has nothing to do with most of the characters being broad caricatures or the fact that most of them are kind of stupid. (Will there ever be a part for Jon Lovitz where he is not a sniveling toady?) Most of the characters may not be funny, true, but the thing is that after years of seeing parodies like Airplane or Naked Gun, you sort of become very jaded and seeing the little kid, Winchell play dictator isn't as funny as it must have been if the movie came out in the 50's.North is a pretty bad movie one of the reasons comes at the end. It's as if the writer got stuck for an ending and then decided to give up. Watch it and you will know what I'm talking about.Another reason it's bad is because of Bruce Willis. I don't mean because his performance is awful but because he is tremendously not funny, something that is hard to say about him. Hudson Hawk looks like an Oscar caliber performance compared to this. He is flat (probably written that way) but it is his "funny" costumes that's supposed to carry his comedic weight. At that it bombs.So I hated this movie too, I guess, but it is not the worst movie in history. Elijah Wood is pretty good and individual episodes are quite amusing (Dan Aykroyd as a Texan). It's just that ending I can't stomach.
7 out of 11 people found the following review useful: I have to applaud Elijah Wood and Bruce Willis...FOR STILL HAVING DECENT CAREERS AFTER THIS PILE OF GARBAGE!!!, 3 May 2004 Author: overtheedge27 from Atlanta, GA
*SPOILERS AHEAD* I ended up watching this movie one day because there was nothing else on TV. Looking back, I should have taken my dog for a walk instead, or read a book, or get all of my teeth drilled, or get tetanus shots in every limb of my body, anything would've been better than sitting through this! When they had the scene with North's parents trying to convince him to come back and they said in response to adopting a kid name Hue, "We don't want Hue!" I could clearly see what was coming up. And then they had to pull the old deus ex machina ending stating that it was only a dream! Gimme a break! The only thing about this movie that made me laugh, was reading Ebert's review, that and everybody giving Rob Reiner a hard time about the movie during his roast. With all due respect, Mr. Reiner, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!
2 out of 2 people found the following review useful: Good, 17 September 2009 Author: Jenya from Israel
I hate when people try to play the "Ill save you from this movie" part and analyze films like they "Understand" movies. I even saw a comment that warned parents from showing the movie to their children and called it EVIL! I bet they rather show another "Teletubies" episode...Overall its a fun movie, good jokes (smart at least), good actors. Maybe not a "must see" but definitely fun to watch. Hollywood guys used to make good movies back then. Besides, i really enjoyed the not-John McClane Willis...Every person that gave this movie less then 5 stars should be expelled from IMDb. :)Damn that 10 line rule...
It's bad for you, 11 December 2009 Author: thenutts from Dominican Republic
It's amazing how people can tell you repeatedly that something is bad for you and yet you find yourself, like a moth to a flame, drawn to it. So it was with the reviews for this movie. I find that virtually every consensus opinion on IMDb is right on. When faced with a choice of movies to see I will often refer to this site to get a feel for which is the best selection and rarely am I mislead. Well, the record continues however, unfortunately, I ignored the warnings and watched this AWFUL movie. I just figured that with a cast like this and the direction of Rob Reiner that there had to be more to the movie. Boy was I wrong. What a waste of time and celluloid. AWFUL..Stay Away.
This has to be one of the worst movies ever made!, 18 July 2009 Author: Jared (kidroser) from United States
I would give it a zero if I could, but this rating system only goes down to 1. Which is a shame, because more people need to know the sheer madness that this movie can produce. The entire movie was just one bad joke, offensive stereotype and unneeded cameo for the entire film. The plot seems harmless enough, but that is just a cover for this movie's true evil. The story follows North, played by Frodo (Elijah Wood), a boy who emancipates himself from his parents (George and Elaine from Seinfeld) who he feels do not care about him. He gets this idea from, and I am being completely serious here, Bruce Willis in a rabbit suit. He has a year to find a new family or he will be put in an orphanage. So, he travels to such as Texas, Hawaii, Alaska and Africa, where a slew of unfunny ethnic jokes and horrible stereotypical racist displays of native cultures. Even the ending, where it turns out, in the most chiche of endings, it was all a dream, still infuriated audiences, even though it shows that this archaic display of racism never happened in real life. In short, NEVER SEE THIS MOVIE! EVER!!!
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