Fred Flintstone:
Yabba dabba doo!
Barney Rubble:
You're afraid to tell Wilma, aren't you?
Fred Flintstone:
[
skids the car to an abrupt halt] Afraid? Now let's get this straight, Rubble, I don't need permission from my wife to make a decision. In my cave, I reign supreme, *SUPREME*.
Barney Rubble:
I won't tell her, Fred.
Fred Flintstone:
[
relieved] Thanks pal.
Fred Flintstone:
I'm only one man.
Barney Rubble:
Not from the back.
Betty Rubble:
Barney, do you have to do everything Fred does?
Fred Flintstone:
I just want my old job back and my old life. Oh and two weeks paid vacation for all the workers in the quarry, an annual cost-of-living increase, and those little packets of ketchup in the lunch room.
Wilma:
I cannot believe you just sat there and let them walk out on us.
Fred Flintstone:
At least I can walk around the house in my underwear again.
Wilma:
And that is more important to you than 30 years of friendship?
Fred Flintstone:
It is on a hot day.
Cliff Vandercave:
Do you know what we do up here?
Fred Flintstone:
Well me and the guys have always wondered.
Cliff Vandercave:
We interface, Flintstone, we conceptualize, tenderize, prioritize.
Fred Flintstone:
When do we eat?
Grizzled Man:
Wait, do you know this guy?
Barney Rubble:
No, he used to be my best friend. Heck if it weren't for me, this whole mess probably wouldn't have happened.
Grizzled Man:
Thanks for telling us. We could've made a very big mistake. Hang both of them!
Cliff Vandercave:
I want you to fire Bernard Rubble.
Fred Flintstone:
Done! Wait, fire Barney, why?
Cliff Vandercave:
Well he scored the lowest on the company aptitude test. He's an imbosile. The company can't afford to have dead weight like him on the payroll.
Fred Flintstone:
But Mr. Vandercave, he's got a new kid, a mortgage, I'm his best friend, I can't.
Cliff Vandercave:
Look, Fred, if you don't fire him, I will, and then I'll fire you.
Sharon Stone:
Can I get you anything? Coffee?
Fred Flintstone:
Sure.
Sharon Stone:
How would you like it?
Fred Flintstone:
In a cup?
Sharon Stone:
Bold choice, Mr. Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone:
Barney Rubble has been my neighbor, my lodge brother and my best friend since the first time I went through the fifth grade.
[
Dino grabs one of the steaks off the grill and runs away]
Fred Flintstone:
Hey, Barn, you like your steak rare?
Barney Rubble:
Yeah.
Fred Flintstone:
That one's yours.
[
Barney chases Dino]
Cliff Vandercave:
Son of a Brachiosaurus!
Barney Rubble:
It's like a dream come true. A son. Somebody to carry on the proud name of Rubble. 'Think I'll be a good daddy, Fred?
Fred Flintstone:
Well you're bound to find something you're good at.
Pearl Slaghoople:
Somebody has to look after my daughter and grandchild, while you're out corrausing with a bunch of neanderthals.
Fred Flintstone:
Oh really? Well for your information the lodge no longer accepts neanderthals.
Pearl Slaghoople:
He robs your nest egg to bail out that little troll next door, while my daughter has to wash her clothes in the river.
Fred Flintstone:
I've got half a mind...!
Pearl Slaghoople:
Oh don't flatter yourself.
Adoption Agency Worker:
Mr. and Mrs. Rubble, this is your little boy.
[
Presents Bamm-Bamm]
Betty Rubble:
Oh Barney isn't he precious?
Fred Flintstone:
Precious? They'd have been better off with the monkey.
Wilma Flintstone:
Fred!
Betty Rubble:
Does he have a name?
Adoption Agency Worker:
Bamm-Bamm.
Barney Rubble:
Is that shot for something?
Adoption Agency Worker:
Yes, Bamm-Bamm-Bamm. You're going to have to take it slowly with this one, he doesn't speak yet and is alittle skimish around humans, but then again I would be too if I'd been raised by wild Mastadons. Ha ha ha.
Barney Rubble, Betty Rubble:
Mastadons?
Adoption Agency Worker:
Let's not nitpick! A mammal's a mammal.
Cashier:
Mrs. Rubble, there seems to be a slight problem with your credit card.
Betty Rubble:
Really? What's that?
Cashier:
It's no damn good!
[
Breaks the card with a hammer]
Fred Flintstone:
Sorry I'm late. Had car trouble, I picked up a nail.
[
Shows everyone a bandaid on his dirty foot]
Mr. Slate:
Thank you for sharing that with us, Mr. Flagstone. May we continue?
Fred Flintstone:
[
Holding a miniature model of houses the quarry plans to build] I hate to bust your bubble, but if you build houses this small, who's gonna live in them?
Wilma Flintstone:
We have scrimped and saved for that money and everytime we get a little bit ahead you have to go blow it on some hair brained scheme.
Fred Flintstone:
Now see here, Wilma! In this cave, *I* AM THE KING! AND...
Wilma Flintstone:
And what...? Fred!
Fred Flintstone:
And you have every right to know, my queen.
Fred Flintstone:
We'll make new friends, there's 4,000 other people in this world!
[
after Cliff has announced that Fred had won the executive job]
Fred Flintstone:
Barney, quick, what's my name?
Barney Rubble:
Fred Flintstone!
Fred Flintstone:
Don't toy with me, Barn.
Barney Rubble:
So, Fred, what am I gonna call you now? Boss? Chief?
Fred Flintstone:
No, simply Your Highness will do.
Fred Flintstone:
Miss Stone, I'd like you to meet my wife, Mrs. Flagstone, and our daughter... uh... uh... isn't she beautiful? My family.
Fred Flintstone:
This is my office? This is my chair?
Cliff Vandercave:
Yeah, not to throw too much at you on your first day but this big thing here is your desk.
Fred Flintstone:
My desk?
Barney Rubble:
Tell me something, Mr. Vice President, what's a graduated inventory plan? How about supply and demand? Hey Fred, what's two and two?
Fred Flintstone:
...I didn't come here to talk business. I'm out with my wife. Now get me a clean spoon.
Fred Flintstone:
Take a memo. Cliff, let's play golf. We can prioritize, conceptualize and tenderize. Executively yours, Fred Fliiii -
[
falls backwards out of his chair]
Dictabird:
Are there six or seven I's in 'Fliiii - '?
Cliff Vandercave:
Look at those pathetic worms burrowing their lives away. Do you know why I'm up here and they're down there, Miss Stone?
Sharon Stone:
Because you lied on your résumé?
Cliff Vandercave:
No. Because I have vision, and right now I have a vision of you and me dripping with coconut oil on a beach in Rockapulco with Mr. Slate's fortune to keep us company.
Sharon Stone:
I'm glad we see eye to eye.
Cliff Vandercave:
And somewhere down there is the ignorant stooge who will make all my schemes come true.
Sharon Stone:
I'm worried, Cliff, I think Mr. Flintstone is smarter than we thought.
Cliff Vandercave:
Ha. He'd have to be to get himself dressed in the morning.
Pearl Slaghoople:
Oh, you poor, poor dear. You could have married Elliot Firestone, the man who invented the wheel.
[
gives Fred a nasty glare]
Pearl Slaghoople:
Instead you picked Fred Flintstone, the man who invented the excuse!
Barney Rubble:
[
On Fred's first day of being a VP] Well, guess this is it, Mr. Flintstone. Go get'em, big guy.
Fred Flintstone:
Hey Barn.
Barney Rubble:
Yeah, Fred?
Fred Flintstone:
Could you spot me a couple bucks for lunch? I'm a little short.
Barney Rubble:
You're right, Fred. Nothing's changed.
Mr. Slate:
Gentlemen, please, I can't endorse this modernization if it means laying off all those workers. Some of them have been here since the beginning of time.
Cliff Vandercave:
What if I could quadruple your income?
Mr. Slate:
I'll miss them. You were saying?
Cliff Vandercave:
Through the miracle of geothermal power, the raw material is elevated to the second stage where our steam powered conveyer belts carry...
Bill:
Steam? He's a mad man!
Cliff Vandercave:
*Steam* powered conveyer belts, carry the product...
Betty Rubble:
You know, Barney, life is funny. One minute people are your best friends, and the next you're fantasizing they're being ripped apart by a pack of rabid wolves.
Barney Rubble:
You too, huh?
Betty Rubble:
One day we'll look back on this and we're gonna laugh.
Barney Rubble:
Gee I hope so, Betty. Because tomorrow they got me testing shark repellent.
[
after the bowling team hoes into the beer and howls]
Hoagie:
[
grinning] It doesn't get any better than this!
Joe Rockhead:
Whatcha got today?
Hoagie:
Lizard & Onions. Want half?
Joe Rockhead:
Sure!
Fred Flintstone:
Well I'm not going to jail, but it won't be easy finding a new job. What kind of reference is Mr. Slate gonna give me after I destroyed his quarry.
Betty Rubble:
Aw Fred, it wasn't your fault, I'm sure Mr. Slate will understand.
Mr. Slate:
Flint-stoooooooooone!
Fred Flintstone:
Sure, NOW he gets my name right.
Wilma:
[
when Barney and Betty are waiting for their adopted child] Now, Fred. Don't say anything like what you said when you saw my sister's child.
Fred Flintstone:
The kid had a tail. What was I supposed to do? Pretend I didn't notice it?
Mr. Slate:
How did this happen?
Fred Flintstone:
Well, it all started when I lent money to Barney so he could adopt a baby.
Mr. Slate:
Not that. How did this happen to Cliff?
[
shows Cliff trapped in a hard rough substantce]
Fred Flintstone:
Well, the machine went haywire and the rocks got crushed up and mixed with the water, and it got onto Cliff. Slate, I'm sorry.
Mr. Slate:
Sorry? I love this stuff! I'm gonna name it after my daughter, Concretia.
Barney Rubble:
You know, Fred, I hear that eatin' too much red meat is bad for you.
Fred Flintstone:
What a load of bunk! My father ate it every day of his life and he lived to the ripe old age of thirty-eight.
Wilma:
This has gone far enough! After everything that we've done for you! We took you into our home!
Betty Rubble:
Oh, yeah, so you could show off every chance you got. You used to be such nice people but now... you're just a couple of rich snobs! Hmph!
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