Albertius:
In a world where nothing is truly reasonable, nothing is truly mad.
[
Richard is nude and embarrassed]
Maria:
Don't worry, I have brothers.
Richard Courtois:
You're a melancholy fellow, Mathieu. Get yourself smartened up and we'll go to a brothel.
Mathieu:
Brothel?
Richard Courtois:
Well, there won't be one in this piss-arse town, but there'll be one in L'Avignon.
Mathieu:
Maitre, this is the brothel.
Richard Courtois:
What?
Mathieu:
The Abville Inn is the Abville Whorehouse.
Richard Courtois:
[
incredulous] What, that skinny girl?
Mathieu:
They put it down as the "lodging tax."
Richard Courtois:
[
of the priest's privately-expressed skepticism about witchcraft] Would you say all that in court?
Albertius:
Richard, I like it here; it's a very nice living. Having my balls burnt off in public might take some of the pleasure out of it.
Richard Courtois:
There must be priests in Hell.
Albertius:
Can't move for them.
Maria:
[
cheerfully taking advantage of a hotel guest's morning hard-on] Waste not, want not!
Albertius:
...why, I myself saw the Bishop of Rheims pronounce the act of anathema against a swarm of locusts.
Richard Courtois:
Really? How did they take it?
Albertius:
Difficult to say with locusts.
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