The Mighty Ducks (1992)

Matt Doherty: Les Averman

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the kids aren't thrilled about being named the Ducks] 

  Gordon Bombay : I didn't have a choice, we're being sponsored.

  Les Averman : By who, Donald and Daisy?

  Gordon Bombay : Hey, you don't wanna be Ducks? You'd rather be District Five? Some stupid number?

  Peter Mark : Better than some stupid animal.

  Gordon Bombay : I'll have you know, Peter, that the Duck is one of the most noble, agile and intelligent creatures in the animal kingdom.

  Connie Moreau : But they're wimpy!

  Guy Germaine : They don't even have teeth.

  Gordon Bombay : Neither do hockey players. Have you guys ever seen a flock of ducks flying in perfect formation? It's beautiful. Pretty awesome the way they all stick together. Ducks never say die. Ever seen a duck fight? No way. Why? Because the other animals are afraid. They know that if they mess with one duck, they gotta deal with the whole flock. I'm proud to be a Duck, and I'd be proud to fly with any one of you. So how about it? Who's a Duck?

  Fulton Reed : [pause]  I'll be a duck.

  Charlie Conway : Yeah, me too.

• Les Averman : [imitating Rob Schneider]  The Pete-Meister, Mr. Rabble-Rouser! Passing the puck over to Jessie-Roonie, the Enforcer!

  [Peter falls down] 

  Les Averman : Ouch! That hurt! Oh, it's the Connie-Meister...

  [Connie shoves Averman down] 

  Les Averman : ...the Velvet Hammer.

• Guy Germaine : Look at this!

  [shows Bombay Karp's dented helmet] 

  Les Averman : [as Rob Schneider]  The Karpster used his head to stop the puck, Mr. Karpelandi!

• Gordon Bombay : You think losing is funny?

  Les Averman : Well, not at first, but once you get the hang of it.

  Jesse : We're the ones out there gettin' our butts kicked.

  Terry Hall : Yeah, it's not like you coach us or anything. At least we tried.

• Les Averman : Just so you know, we really suck.

  Gordon Bombay : Hey, I'll decide who sucks around here.

  [Cut to the kids playing, badly] 

  Gordon Bombay : They really suck.

• Gordon Bombay : Concentration, not strength.

  Les Averman : Like the Karate Kid, right? Wax on! Wax off!

  Connie Moreau : Just shut up and try it, Averman!