- Madeline Ashton: Bottoms up!
- [Madeline drinks the potion]
- Lisle Von Rhoman: Now, a warning.
- Madeline Ashton: NOW a warning?
- Ernest Menville: Where did you put my wife?
- Second Doctor: She's dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.
- Ernest Menville: The morgue? She'll be FURIOUS!
- Lisle Von Rhuman: This is life's ultimate cruelty. It offers us a taste of youth and vitality, and then it makes us witness our own decay.
- [Helen has a gaping hole in her abdomen]
- Madeline Ashton: You're a fraud, Helen! You're a walking lie and I can see right... THROUGH YOU!
- [watch through the hole while laughing]
- [Helen has a gaping hole in her abdomen after being shot into a pool]
- Helen: Look at me, Ernest! Just look at me! I'm soaking wet!
- Ernest Menville: And there seems to be something wrong with your, uh... blouse.
- [Helen and Madeleine shatter into pieces after falling down stairs]
- Helen: Do you remember where you parked the car?
- Emergency Room Doctor: I tell you what, kids, it's, uh, odd thing here. Your wrist, uh, far as I can tell, is, uh, fractured in three places. Uh, and you've shattered, uh, two vertebrae, though I can't be certain without an X-ray... The bone protrusion through the skin - that's not a good sign. You're body temperature is below 80, and your, your, your heart's stopped beating.
- Ernest Menville: What the hell does that mean?
- Emergency Room Doctor: Exactly! What... what... I'm going to get a second opinion.
- [the doctor leaves in a hurry]
- Madeline Ashton: Well, it could be worse.
- [Helen pours alcohol all over Madeline's car and then dumps the bottles inside, revealing dozens of bottles and alcohol everywhere]
- Helen: We'll make it look like she's had just a little bit too much to drink...
- Lisle Von Rhuman: Go on... Drink it... It is the completion of your life's work. You gave other people youth and wasted your own! Drink. And you will be able to work again forever! Drink... drink, Dr. Menville. You owe yourself another chance! Drink! It's the right choice! The *only* choice! Drink! SEMPRE VIVE! LIVE FOREVER!
- Ernest Menville: Then what?
- Lisle Von Rhuman: What?
- Ernest Menville: Then what happens?
- Lisle Von Rhuman: What?
- Ernest Menville: I don't want to live forever. I mean, it sounds good, but what am I gonna do? What if I get bored?
- Lisle Von Rhuman: What?
- Ernest Menville: And what if I get lonely? Who am I gonna hang around with, Madeleine and Helen?
- Ernest Menville: [at Helen's book party] Have you seen her yet?
- Madeline: What a joke. She's not even here.
- Ernest Menville: Wait. Look over there.
- Madeline: [a heavy-set woman stands surrounded by people] Oh! Looks as though she's lost a few pou-
- [the heavy set lady moves out of the way to reveal the incredibly thin Helen Sharp]
- Ernest Menville: She's dead!
- Madeline Ashton: She is? Oh. These are the moments that make life worth living.
- [upon discovering her neck has twisted a complete 180 degrees]
- Madeline Ashton: Ernest... my ass! I can *see*... my ASS!
- Ernest Menville: And there's something really wrong with your neck too.
- Anna: How about a nice colagen buff?
- Madeline Ashton: "A colagen buff"? You might as well ask me to wash with soap and water!
- Anna: I could do your make-up myself...
- Madeline Ashton: Make-up is POINTLESS! It does nothing anymore! Are you even listening to me? Do you even care? You stand there with your 22-year- old skin and your tits like ROCKS and laugh at me...
- [sobs]
- Lisle: Drink that potion, and you'll never grow even one day older. Don't drink it, and continue to watch yourself rot.
- Helen Sharp: By the time they perform the autopsy, the narconal will be completely dissolved leaving only traces of alcohol. She'll be classified as just "another drunk-driver". They'll check her blood alcohol.
- Coroner: [Coroner picks up charred hand with bottle] .40... She had it coming.
- [Drops hand, bottle brakes]
- Helen Sharp: And think nothing more of it.
- Helen Sharp: The case is closed, Madeline is dead, and we're free!
- [last lines]
- Madeline Ashton: Has that ever worked by the way? When you ask me where I last saw something?
- Helen Sharp: Yes.
- Madeline Ashton: When?
- Helen Sharp: When you lost your index finger.
- Madeline Ashton: I didn't lose it, it broke off.
- Helen Sharp: That's because you cracked your knuckles all the tIIII...
- [slipping on the can of spray paint they dropped]
- Helen Sharp: Oh! Help me! My legs aren't working! Help me!
- [Helen pulls a smug Madeline down with her and they break into pieces as they hit the bottom of the stairs]
- Madeline Ashton: [as a head to Madeline's] Do you remember where you parked the car?
- [Rose is serving breakfast in bed to Madeline Ashton]
- Rose: Good morning, madam. You look absolutely marvelous.
- Madeline Ashton: Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you forgetting something?
- Rose: Well, it's only Thursday - you told me just to say it...
- Madeline Ashton: Well, never mind that. I think I need you to say it every morning.
- Rose: Very well. "Oh, madam! You look younger every day!"
- Madeline Ashton: Thank you, Rose. Thank you very much.
- [Lisle scolds one of her "boys"]
- Lisle Von Rhoman: Make some room for my friend, for Chrissake. But... keep your ass handy.
- Lisle Von Rhoman: You're scared as Hell... of yourself. Of the body you once knew.
- Madeline Ashton: I beg your pardon?
- Lisle Von Rhoman: I am the one who understands. I am the one who knows your secret.
- Helen Sharp: You're a powerful sexual being, Ernest.
- Ernest Menville: I am?
- Helen Sharp: Yes, you are. If I never told you before, it was because I wasn't the sort of girl who could say the word "sexual" without blushing. Well I can now. Sexual... sensual... sexy... sex... sex... sex...
- Lisle Von Rhoman: How old would you guess I am? C'mon, don't try to flatter me.
- Madeline Ashton: Thirty-eight?
- [Lisle Von Rhoman glares at her]
- Madeline Ashton: TWENTY-eight... no, twenty-three...
- Madeline Ashton: [reading the title of Helen's new book] "Forever Young?"...
- Rose: I like that title.
- Madeline Ashton: [Cackling] Ah, forever young... and eternally fat...
- Helen Sharp: [Helen throws a Spade at Madeleine, who catches it] En garde! *Bitch*!
- Ernest Menville: Girls, girls! Let's just calm down! I'm sure we can settle this peacefully and nego... WHOA!
- Vivian Adams: I never had a chance to thank you for the spectacular job you did with my Aunt Esther.
- Ernest Menville: Oh, well, thank you very much.
- Vivian Adams: Her color, her tone. You even brought out her cheekbones.
- Ernest Menville: Well, that's my job.
- Vivian Adams: It was almost a shame to bury her.
- Ernest Menville: It's so sweet of you to say that.
- Vivian Adams: Can I ask you what your secret is?
- Ernest Menville: Spray paint. You see, you can't just use regular makeup on dead skin. The pores are too dry. You've gotta use a palette and grind the stuff in. One day I'm in the hardware store and I think to myself, "What about mannequin paint?"It's got its own chemical adhesive, comes in an incredible variety of flesh...
- Vivian Adams: [aghast] Excuse me!
- [hurries away]