The Comrades of Summer (1992 TV Movie)

Joe Mantegna: Sparky Smith

Quotes 

• Sparky Smith : You know, I was, ah, trying to tell them you're great and you really give me a hand at work. Did I say it right?

  Tanya : You told my grandmother that everyday in my office I make you feel very good using my hand.

• Sparky Smith : Hey, uh.. buddy? Milov, right? Did you happen to see a Walkman last time you were in here?

  Milov : Yes, I took it.

  Sparky Smith : Oh, well I prefer if you're going to borrow something of mine you ask in advance.

  Milov : I don't borrow it. I sold it.

  Sparky Smith : [later]  You got a backstop... for a Walkman?

  Milov : No, for Walkman I get two cases of Italian windshield wipers.

  Sparky Smith : No.

  Milov : Yeah. For windshield wipers I get one case shampoo and one case toothpaste, with fluoride and tartar control.

  Sparky Smith : No.

  Milov : Yeah. For shampoo and for toothpaste I make very good trade for pneumatic German nail driver, for construction purposes.

  Sparky Smith : No!

  Milov : Yeah. For nail driver I get 244 latex condoms. Excellent quality. Red. For condoms I get get backstop, fence, and installation... and two Walkmans. I keep one Walkman, with your permit.

  Sparky Smith : My permit? Milov, my boy, I think we're gonna get along just fine.

• Sparky Smith : [breaking up an argument in Russian between the assistant coach and a player]  Hold it, Hold it! What's the problem here?

  Voronov : Is settled. Matter of tactics.

  Andy : It's not settled. He says the pitcher should cover first base on a Texas Leaguer instead of home.

  Sparky Smith : He's right.

  Voronov : Uh-huh!

  Andy : Even if there's a man on third?

  Voronov : Manuel says first.

  Sparky Smith : And let the run score?

  Voronov : [frustrated]  Fly ball between infield and outfield, pitcher covers first!

  Sparky Smith : Sorry, Vladimir. Runner on third changes everything. Home is a hell of a lot more important than first base.

  Voronov : [cursing in Russian, holds up a book]  Manuel says first!

  Sparky Smith : [realizing]  Manuel?

  Voronov : Prepared by Cuban baseballists and Soviet sports specialists and researchers!

  Sparky Smith : Manuel is a man-u-al?

  Voronov : Da.

  Sparky Smith : [nods. Rips page out of book and throws it away]  . Now he covers home.