Mike Waters:
This chick's living in a new car ad.
Scott Favor:
It's when you start doing things for free, that you start to grow wings. Isn't that right, Mike.
Mike Waters:
What?
Scott Favor:
Wings, Michael. You grow wings, and become a fairy.
Scott Favor:
I never thought I could be a real model, you know fashion-shit, cause I'm better at full body stuff It.8 okay so long as the photographer doesn't come on to you and expect something for no pay I'm trying to make a living, you know, and I like to be professional 'Course if the guy wants to pay me, then shit-yeah. Here I am for him. I'll sell my ass, I do it on the street all the time for cash. And I'll be on the cover of a book. It's when you start doing it for free that you start to grow wings, Right, Mike?
Gary:
Dude, if we can't steal from them going into the bar, Dude, we can get them coming out! See, Bob-dude?
Mike Waters:
I love you, and you don't pay me.
Mike Waters:
If I had a normal family, and a good upbringing, then I would have been a well-adjusted person.
Scott Favor:
[
Laughs] Depends on what you call normal.
Mike Waters:
Yeah, it does. Well, you know, normal, like, like a mom and a dad and a dog and shit like that. Normal. Normal.
Scott Favor:
So you didn't have a normal dog?
Mike Waters:
No, I didn't have a dog.
Scott Favor:
Didn't have a... a normal dad?
Mike Waters:
Didn't have a dog or, or, or a normal dad anyway. That's alright. I don't feel sorry for myself, I mean, I feel like I'm, I feel like I'm, you know, well-adjusted.
Scott Favor:
[
Laughs] What's a normal dad?
Mike Waters:
I don't know.
[
pauses]
Mike Waters:
I'd like to talk with you. I mean I'd like to, uh, really talk with you. I mean we're talking right now, but, you know, I don't know, I-I don't feel like I can be... I don't feel like I can be close to you. I mean we're close, you know, right now we're close, but, I mean, you know...
Scott Favor:
How close, I mean...
Mike Waters:
I don't know, whatever.
Scott Favor:
What?
Mike Waters:
What I mean to you?
Scott Favor:
What do you mean to me? Mike, you're my best friend.
Mike Waters:
I know, man, I know... I know... I know I'm your friend. We're good friends, and that's good to be, you know, good friends. That's a good thing.
Scott Favor:
So...
Mike Waters:
So I just...
[
pauses]
Mike Waters:
That's okay. We're going to be friends.
Scott Favor:
I only have sex with a guy for money.
Mike Waters:
Yeah, I know, I mean...
Scott Favor:
And two guys can't love each other.
Mike Waters:
Yeah. Well, I-I don't know, I mean, I mean for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it. I love you, and... you don't pay me.
Scott Favor:
Mike...
Mike Waters:
I really wanna kiss you, man.
[
pauses]
Mike Waters:
Well goodnight man.
[
pauses again]
Mike Waters:
I love you, though.
[
pauses again]
Mike Waters:
You know that. I do love you.
Scott Favor:
[
Moves some things out of his way] Alright, come here, Mike.
[
Pats the ground]
Scott Favor:
Let's just see. It could be fun. Just gonna see, come on.
[
Mike moves over towards Scott and lowers his head. They presumably start to kiss]
Bob Pigeon:
Scott. When you inherit your fortune, on your twenty-first birthday, let's see... how far away is this?
Scott Favor:
One week away, Bob, just one more week.
Bob Pigeon:
Let's not call ourselves robbers, but Diana's foresters. Gentlemen of the shade. Minions of the Moon. Men of good government.
Scott Favor:
[
under his breath] When I turn twenty-one, I don't want any more of this life. My mother and father will be surprised at the incredible change. It will impress them more when such a fuck-up like me turns good than if I had been a good son all along. All the past years I will think of as one big vacation. At least it wasn't as boring as schoolwork. All my bad behavior I'm going to throw away to pay my debt. I will change when everybody expects it the least.
Scott Favor:
I only have sex with a guy for money.
Mike Waters:
Yeah, I know.
Scott Favor:
And two guys can't love each other.
Mike Waters:
Yeah.
Mike Waters:
Well, I don't know. I mean... I mean, for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it... I love you, and... you don't pay me.
Scott Favor:
Mike...
Mike Waters:
I really wanna kiss you, man... Well goodnight, man... I love you though... You know that... I do love you.
Scott Favor:
Why, you wouldn't even look at a clock unless hours were lines of coke, dials looked like the signs of gay bars, or time itself was a fair hustler in black leather.
Scott Favor:
Getting away from everything feels good.
Mike Waters:
Yeah, it does.
Scott Favor:
When I left home, the maid asked me where I was off to. I said "Wherever. Whatever. Have a nice day."
Mike Waters:
You had a maid. If I had a normal family, and a good up-bringing, then I would have been a well-adjusted person.
Scott Favor:
It depends on what you call normal.
Mike Waters:
Yeah, it does. Well, you know. Normal. Like a mom and a dad and a dog, and shit like that. Normal. Normal.
Scott Favor:
So, you didn't have a normal dog?
Mike Waters:
No, I didn't have a dog.
Scott Favor:
Didn't... or... didn't have a normal dad?
Mike Waters:
Didn't have a dog or a normal dad anyway, yeah. That's alright. I don't feel sorry for myself. I mean, I feel like I'm... I feel like I'm... you know... well-adjusted.
Mike Waters:
This is a nice home. Do you live here?... I don't blame you.
Mike Waters:
I've been tasting roads my whole life.
Scott Favor:
When you wake up, wipe the slugs off your face. Be ready for a new day!
[
last lines]
Mike Waters:
I'm a connoisseur of roads. I've been tasting roads my whole life. This road will never end. It probably goes all around the world.
Daddy Carroll:
I am so lucky, i was born on April 4th 1944, thats 4.4.44, if you add that up it comes to 16: 1-6, one plus six is seven: luckiest number of all.
Mike Waters:
You know your Math.
Daddy Carroll:
It's more than math Mike, it's... imaculate perfection!
Gary:
Hey man, did you get into that Sinead O'Connor concert last night?
Mike Waters:
To the Sinead? What?
Gary:
You know, the chick with the bald head.
Mike Waters:
I've never been to a concert before, dude.
Richard Waters:
That guy. He was your real dad, Mike.
Mike Waters:
Don't fuck me in the head anymore man! I know the fucking truth! I know who my fucking real dad is!
Richard Waters:
Who?... Who?
Mike Waters:
Dick, you. Richard, you're my dad. I know that.
Richard Waters:
You know too much.
Mike Waters:
[
in a coffee shop] How'd we get home?
Scott Favor:
That German guy. Hans. He brought you downtown, you were passed out. He said he was heading to Portland, so I asked him for a ride.
Mike Waters:
For some reason I'm forgetting a German guy named Hans.
Scott Favor:
Well. You were sleeping.
Mike Waters:
How much do you make off me while I'm sleeping?
Scott Favor:
Just a ride, Mike. I don't make anything. What, you think that I sell your body while you are asleep?
Mike Waters:
Yeah.
Scott Favor:
[
Scott stirs his coffee] No, Mike. I'm on your side.
Jane Lightwork:
I'm the one who heard him cry out last night. He said "God, God, God...” three or four times. And when I got there I put my hand into the bed and felt his feet. And they were cold as stone. And I checked the rest of his body. And it too was as cold as stone...
Scott Favor:
But how could you see green if it was so dark you could not see your own hand?
Scott Favor:
Look Mike, sandwiches!
Bob Pigeon:
I'm afraid if I shared your wine, I might catch this awful disease you appear to have. My jacket would grow little zippers all over it and my toes would have jingle bells on them like those there.
Bob Pigeon:
Are you not a coward? Answer that, and that goes double!
Mike Waters:
You're calling me a coward? You fat duck!
Bob Pigeon:
I'd give a thousand dollars to be able to run as fast as you can.
Mike Waters:
It'll never happen Bob.
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